Something, Nothing and Everything
by accio.awesomeness
Summary: <html><head></head>Take some James Potter, add in some Sirius Black. A pinch of friendship drama, a few sexy Slytherins and a messed-up home life. Secrets and lies abound, hearts are broken and bonds are formed between the most unlikely of people. SBxOC R&R!</html>
1. Introductions

**This is going to be my first ever REAL multi-chapter Potterfic! I hope you enjoy. Oh, and make sure to check out the A/N at the bottom, it's important.**

**Disclaimer: My 11:11 wish is NOT to be J.K.R., because anything I do will not match up to her brilliance.**

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><p><strong><span>Introductions<span>**

"Oy! Snivelly!"

I scowled. Why in Merlin's name James was friends with a wanker like Sirius Black was beyond me, but there the two of them were, taunting Severus Snape. Again.

On the other hand, James Potter had his wanker moments, too. Such as… oh, now, for example.

"There are ladies present. Tsk, foul language is not appropriate!" I heard James snap. "_Expelliarmus!_"

I turned away. I didn't need to see my best friend bullying a fellow student. Even if Severus Snape was a blot on wizardkind, no one deserved _that_. I cracked my eyes open for a second, enough to verify that there _were _bubbles streaming out of Snape's mouth (_pink_ bubbles, they were) and shot James a glare. Which he missed, because his back was turned.

"Leave him _alone_!" I heard a screech from Lily Evans. I rolled my eyes. She'd never cease to amaze me. Standing up for a _Slytherin_, honestly. She always turned into a right bitch whenever Snape was around.

I tuned out, going back to the book in my hands. It was our last exam tomorrow – Transfiguration. My personal bugbear, although Remus seemed to master it effortlessly. I didn't know Remus especially well – only that he seemed the most normal of the four Marauders. James Potter was a show-off – whoever gave him such a high opinion of himself, they should go die. Peter Pettigrew was a mousy little thing, forever in the shadow of James and Black, and thinking they were the greatest thing since Contraceptive Charms. Sirius Black – a sodding arsehole, and too vain for his own good. Enough said.

Another round of screeching from Lily, and I gave up on studying outdoors. Scooping up my bag and slinging it over my shoulder, I trudged back up to the castle, meeting James's eyes and motioning with my head to the castle. He nodded, indicating he'd meet me later, and went back to bullying Snape. Lily was long gone – from what I'd heard of the last few minutes, the stupid greaseball had called her a Mudblood. I didn't much like Lily Evans myself, but that word made me want to stick his head in the lake and hold it there until the Giant Squid showed up.

James was really the only Marauder I was friends with. I was on good terms with the rest – excepting Black, of course, but James had been there since I'd started at Hogwarts. We'd both been sorted into Gryffindor, him straight after me. Norah Payne, James Potter. We'd not paid much attention to it, but on the first day of classes, I was lost, and he was late. And covered in blots of ink.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Peeves," he gasped out, before bending over and wheezing. I'd let him pant it out for a while, then my anxiety took over. Always a teacher's pet, I was.

"D'you know where the Transfiguration classroom is?" He held up a finger. Once he had control of his breathing, he straightened up and rubbed the back of his neck. Even at eleven years of age, it was a startlingly charming gesture, and I found myself immediately taken with him.

"Yes, I was headed there myself. Before Peeves came along." He half-heartedly attempted to scrub the ink off his face, and gave up after a minute. "It's no use. I don't suppose you know any spell that can get rid of this?"

"Are you serious? This is my first day. I don't know how to shoot red sparks, let alone do a cleaning charm!"

"Hey…" A look of recognition dawned on his face. "You were Sorted right before me, weren't you? Norah… Norah Palmer?"

"Payne. Where's your friend?"

"My friend?"

"The handsome black-haired kid you were sitting with at dinner yesterday."

James scowled. Jealous, I thought. "My _friend_," he snarled, "left the Great Hall early, supposedly to chase after some pretty second-year who he saw heading to the Library."

_He knows where the library is?_

I resisted the temptation to voice my thoughts and instead simply said, "He's eleven."

"You're eleven too," he countered.

"Well yeah, but eleven's a bit young to start flirting, don't you think?"

"_No _age is too young," James said with a wink. I blessed my tanned skin, it was impossible to tell when I blushed. I paused, studying him. His dark hair was messy, with random tufts of hair sticking out all over the place. He had startlingly pretty hazel eyes – unfair, I thought. No boy deserves eyes that nice. And he wore standard wizard robes with a red-and-gold tie marking him as a Gryffindor.

He really was good looking.

"Norah?"

"Oh- er. Ahem," I said awkwardly, to cover my long pause. "Idiots, both of you." He laughed, seeming unaffected by my insult, and raked his eyes over me.

"Actually, you look rather like my fellow idiot," he noted suspiciously. "Cousins? Siblings?"

"What's his name? Black, isn't it? Pureblood," I scoffed. I saw his eyebrows furrow, but it was too late to take it back.

"What's wrong with Purebloods?"

"Well…" I started, deciding honesty was the best policy in this case, "nothing, really. You're fine. You're great, really. And… I suppose Black is, too. But those bloody Slytherin prats, Malfoy and Avery and their crowd, they're too bloody arrogant. If wizards hadn't bred with humans, our race would've died out."

"Too true. The thing about Malfoy being a prat, that is. So… half-blood, then?" he asked, seeming appeased.

"Yes. Magic from my dad's side. He told her the first day he met her, I rather think it upped her opinion of him, knowing he'd do the dishes and laundry with a flick of his wand." He laughed, and I smiled. It was a nice laugh.

"Definitely not related to Sirius?"

"Definitely. I don't even remember what he looks like, but I'll see when we get to class." I paused. "CLASS!"

I saw the horror dawn on his face, and I was sure it matched my own. _Oh, dear._

"Skipping the first class of the school year. Nice way to kick it off," he smirked.

"_How can you take this so lightly?_" I hissed. I was panicking… what if our parents found out? And it was the _first_ lesson. The foundation of Transfiguration. If we missed the basics, how were we to understand the following matter?

I thought about our options. Going in was vetoed immediately. We'd probably have about fifty points deducted for walking in – I checked my watch - forty-five minutes late. There were only fifteen minutes left of class anyway. James seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"Tell you what," he proposed. I raised my eyebrows. "Let's just hang around here until we spot some of our classmates. Then, we'll ask what they learned. And if anyone asks why we didn't show up for the lesson, we were lost, because Peeves led us in the wrong direction. Okay?"

I was doubtful. Would anyone believe that?

"Trust me," he said, catching the look on my face. "We're friends, right?" He held out a hand, still soft and unmarked, without the bruises and scars of Quidditch. It only took me about a second to make my decision.

"Friends," I said firmly, my heart jumping in my chest at the feel of James's warm hand in mine.

****xoxoxoxoxoxoxo** **

A shadow fell over my page. I flicked my eyes up for a second, noted the tall, lean figure and messy hair, and glowered briefly for a moment before twitching my parchment back into the light and continuing to write.

"Aww, don't be like that…" _Potter _murmured.

"Get lost, Potter," I snapped, and he donned a hurt expression.

"What did I do?"

"You know bloody well what you did. What was the reason to torment Snivellus like that? Just because perfect little _Black_ was bored?"

"He's a self-important little snotrag, I did the world a favour." My hand twitched towards my wand. Noticing this, he quickly added, "But erm, yes, it was wrong. Very wrong indeed."

"And it was especially wrong because…?"

"Because I should have been up here, helping you with Transfiguration like I promised I would," James muttered gloomily.

"You'll pay for your sin. Right here, right now. You're staying up with me as long as it takes to master a Vanishing charm."

"Oh, but I promised Sirius…" he trailed off at my glare, and sat down beside me resignedly. "Alright. Let's get started."

Hours went by. After Vanishing a chair, a log from the fireplace, a textbook and James's glasses, he decided to move onto something else. Flicking his wand to conjure his glasses, he was just beginning to teach me another spell when Sirius made an appearance.

"James!" He said on spotting us. "I was looking for you all over the place, though you said – "

"Sorry, mate. I promised I'd help Pup here with her Transfiguration." I scowled at the nickname. It stemmed – or so I thought – from looking like Sirius's younger sister. His shaggy hair had earned him the name Padfoot, and going along with the dog theme, I had been dubbed Pup.

And it was true, I admitted grudgingly, I _did _look quite a bit like Sirius. Black hair, grey eyes, tall, tanned figures. Although despite towering over my friends, Sirius was still a head taller than me. Some boy had once told me that he fancied me, but wouldn't ask me out because he was afraid Sirius would pummel him. And another boy, after I'd rejected him (and then discovered he was gay), told me that Sirius and I would "look good together". I gritted my teeth at the memory.

Black evaluated me for a second. Curse those grey eyes for looking exactly like mine. He turned away after a minute and started up a conversation with James about Quidditch. I buried myself in my Transfiguration book, imagining my brain as a sponge soaking up the knowledge.

Needless to say, it didn't work.

I ditched the book, deciding to wait until the two guys were done talking. From the back, they looked like brothers, although Black's hair fell with an elegance that James's couldn't reach. And besides – James looked good with his ever-messy hair. It just wouldn't lie _flat_. I'd tried to flatten it several times before.

Both were lean and tall, and both in long black robes with Gryffindor ties. As I watched James, his hands moved around in the air, describing some kind of Quidditch move to his friend. Black nodded thoughtfully, angling his body the same way as James's and making his own gesture, strong hands shaping out a feint.

I snapped out of my James-haze and checked my watch. For Merlin's sake…

"James Potter! It's twelve bloody midnight, you arse, and if you want your best friend to pass her Transfiguration exam, you better sit down, stop talking Quidditch with _him_ and bloody help me!"

Two black-haired heads turned to face me. James made an apologetic face at Black, and came to sit beside me again. "We'll talk later, Padfoot. Oh, and are you keeping track?"

"Yes, two days from now," Black replied.

"Keep a watch on Moony, will you? No sneaking off with any girls. You know how he gets, and since I'm stuck tutoring this one…" he nudged me, and I had to smile despite my increasing confusion and fury at the cryptic way they were talking.

James didn't know about my fancying him. Almost no one did, except for Marlene. And although she could be a bit of a slut sometimes, I loved her to bits. And although she did have a slight habit of stealing men, I knew she wouldn't do that to me – firstly because Marlene _is _a good friend, and secondly because what she knew – what _everyone _knew – was that James Potter was taken. Well, his heart was, in any case. By Lily bloody Evans.

For the last four years, he'd been in love with her. Destined to fail. Lily was constantly hanging around with that awful Snape boy. In a rare moment of Norah/Sirius get-along time, we'd both agreed that if Snivellus ever saw a shampoo bottle, they'd run away from each other, screaming. Actually, we'd planned to sneak into the Slytherin common room and jinx all the shampoo bottles in his dorm bathroom to run away from him. Sadly, this prank fell through as the day after that, a record-breaking Black vs. Payne fight broke out, probably the worst in all the five years. We destroyed two classrooms, injured a first-year and accidentally turned Professor Flitwick's nose into a melon. I still don't know how that happened, but there was so much crazy spell-flinging, and our wands both started going crazy…

In any case, whatever small bond there was between Sirius Black and I, it was shattered that day. It probably didn't help matters that I was paired with his brother, Regulus, in Potions every day. The two were identical, right down to the sexy smirk and the shaggy, windswept hair. As Regulus was in Slytherin, he didn't have half the females in Hogwarts at his feet, although in my very biased eyes, he was far more deserving of the attention.

"Norah? No-raaah. Norah!"

"_Pup_!" James shouted, fingers snapping in front of my eyes. I blinked and reflexively swatted his hand away, socking him in the stomach in the same movement.

"_Oof_," he grunted. "What was that for?"

"Calling me Pup. You know I hate being compared to…" I looked around. Black was nowhere in sight. "_Him_."

James sighed, running an exasperated hand through his hair. He had messed it up even more, and my fingers itched to flatten it. "What did he do to you, Norah? Why do you hate him so much?"

I refused to meet his gaze and pressed my lips together. The last thing James needed was to hear bad things about his best friend.

"Norah? He's my best mate. If he's done something to you – you're like my sister. I'd screw up anyone who hurt you, even Sirius. Please?"

I didn't dare to look up. His eyes would be right there, so gorgeous and hazelly and _pleading_. I couldn't lie to James.

So I didn't lie. I just… didn't say anything.

I averted my eyes and checked my watch, pretending to be shocked by the late hour. I let out a small shriek and began pawing through my Transfiguration book again, well aware of the eyes drilling into the side of my head. I closed my eyes and started mouthing the incantation again and again, practicing fixing it in my head while thinking about a cushion.

When I felt I was ready, I opened my eyes, directed my wand to the sofa opposite and muttered the spell. And waited.

With a poof of feathers and a flash of purple silk, _something _appeared on the sofa. Excitedly, I rose and crossed to the sofa, where there was…

A cushion.

And it was exactly as I'd pictured it, too. Fat and soft, with _Norah_ embroidered on the side – I was especially proud of that bit – and I'd DONE it! I'd actually Conjured something!

"Jamsie!" I cried, spinning around to face him. "James, I - "

I paused. He was lying oddly along the sofa, as if he'd been sitting but had flopped sideways when he fell asleep. His breathing was deep and even, and his head rested on my Transfiguration book, which I needed for tomorrow. He looked so much younger while asleep – not like the tough, muscular sixth year I knew. My heart melted.

Gently, I extracted my book from under his head, replacing it with the cushion. He'd know who made it, I thought to myself smugly. James was a miracle-worker. The only two spells I couldn't understand and I'd achieved them both in one night. I thought hard for a minute, then Conjured a blanket, too.

"Night, James," I murmured before quietly slipping up the stairs and climbing into bed.

Staring up at the ceiling, I thought for a while about the boy downstairs who currently occupied every second of my thoughts. I hadn't always fancied James – not like the way he'd fancied Lily for the past five years. There had been other boys, too – Amos Diggory, for one. And Arthur Weasley, for a while, but he was absolutely infatuated with Molly Prewett, a lost cause.

But the one boy who really held my heart for a while, was absolutely forbidden. Not even my best friend, Marlene knew. Ironically, the one person who knew was the one who viewed it as the ultimate betrayal.

Regulus Black.

Hot as sin, and a warmer heart than anyone - least of all his brother - gave him credit for. It was probably due to him that I managed to pass my fifth-year Potions exam. As James was usually off following Lily and Marlene was hanging around her latest boyfriend, Regulus would be my comfort, my solace whenever I felt lonely or just… needed to talk. He took care of me, let me vent about absolutely _anything _– even Evans and her bloody gorgeous red hair – and once even Stunned Evan Rosier after he grabbed my arse on the way out of the Potions class.

As it often does, friendship grew to something more.

But it was ruined by one person. Because of that person, I had to stay away from Regulus until the rumours died down. But it had an unfortunate side effect – in addition to losing the rumours, I lost Regulus, too. We were still partnered in Potions, or course, but apart from an occasional "pass the Shrivelfig", conversation was pretty much dead. And not only because of his brother's eyes on our backs. Deep wells of hurt and regret lurked inside of both of us – and it was my fault. Guilt. Another emotion to gnaw at me. Many nights, I had cried myself to sleep. Marlene and James had gone almost crazy with worry trying to get me out of my depression. Even now, I couldn't talk to Regulus without choking up.

Fifteen minutes after climbing in, I crawled out again. Checked my watch. 12:30.

"Norah?" A sleepy voice asked from the corner as I unlatched the door.

"Shh, Marls," I murmured, slipping out into the cold corridor. The door shut behind me. I crept down the hallway to the boys' room, and stopped dead.

Well, I'd expected it, anyway. Four beds. All empty. Stupid bloody boys and their night escapades.

I paused for a minute in the doorway to make a decision – and found myself unconsciously moving towards the bed.

_Get a grip, you wanker!_ I shouted at myself inside my head. _You have no bloody self-control, do you?_

James' scent. What I caught every time I got a whiff of Amortenia. His aftershave, sharp and spicy, mixed with something clean and warm, that reminded me both of soap and wood fires. I curled up into his pillow, drinking in his scent.

After another fifteen minutes, I gave up on sleep altogether. It could have been the cold, it could have been the lingering depression looming over me after catching Regulus's _How was the exam? _that he'd mouthed across the courtyard. It could have just been regular insomnia, maybe PMS-related. Whatever the reason, I padded down to the common room, hoping that the remains of the fire would calm me into sleeping. I Conjured a blanket for myself, a stormy grey colour that matched my eyes, and curled up on the recently vacated sofa. James was lying here not half an hour ago.

And as predicted, the warm glow of the fire combined with James' lingering scent lulled me to sleep. Fiery creatures danced in my dreams, as did purple cushions with mouths, and suddenly one of them turned to me and said –

"Shh. She's waking up."

I didn't open my eyes.

"Norah. _Pssst_." James. I held back a smile at his voice. Giving a little sigh, I rolled over, eyes still closed. A second later, strong arms scooped me up and started carrying me upstairs. My hair shielded my face from James's eyes, so I opened my eyes, a happy smile on my face.

And met a pair of identical silver-grey eyes about ten metres away.

Black stood across the room, arms crossed and expression unreadable.

"Coming, Pads?" James's voice broke the tense silence.

"Nah," came the reply. "I think I'll crash down here tonight."

"If you're sure…" he resumed walking, and the next thing I knew, my head hit a pillow, soft blankets fell over me and I could smell a lingering aftershave – not James's – around me.

"Night, Norah," I heard James murmur before a candle somewhere was extinguished and I fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.

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><p><strong>AN: Hey, guys. I sincerely hope you are taking the time to read this, cause it really is important.**

**Here's the deal:**

**I intended to write the whole of this fic and THEN post the chapters one by one, peacefully. I'm having some serious writer's block, though. I know exactly where my plot is going but I can't find the right words. I'm hoping that by the time we get to chapter 7, your reviews and encouragement will help me continue. Can we do that? :D **

**And, just a warning. After chapter 7, updates may be very slow. Especially since I have exams next month and I have to start studying if I want to go to the Avril Lavigne concert - my parents' condition. **

**Hope you liked it!**


	2. Day of Judgement

**Guys, really? I know this may sound bad, but three alerts and ONE review? I kind of expected more, considering the fact that SiriusXOC fics are really popular. Is it really that bad? :S**

**Anyway, I posted this chapter mainly to say that. Also, I won't be posting any more unless I get more reviews. It's seriously a letdown. Tell your pals, give me ideas on what to improve, give me a new description of the story to attract readers... whatever. **

**Disclaimer: Whatever.**

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><p><strong><span>Day Of Judgement<span>**

I woke up to a warm bed and a lingering scent of aftershave. Someone was rummaging in a drawer beside me, and I cracked one eye open just in time to see a shirtless Black spraying himself with aftershave from the tip of his wand. The spicy scent intensified. It's not to say it wasn't a nice sight, but it had no effect on me.

"Si – Black?" I croaked groggily. "Why're you in the girls' dorm?"

"What?" Came the short reply. "This is the _boys'_ dorm." Black shrugged on a shirt and walked out the door before I could voice my confusion. _Wanker._

I sat up and looked around. I'd slept in James' bed often enough, so the cluttered room was a familiar sight, but I was now seeing it from a different angle. Slowly, realisation dawned. Black had taken out his wand from the table beside the bed _I_ was sleeping in… which meant…

"JAMES POTTER!" I screeched.

"Whop?" Came the muffled reply from the bathroom. James emerged, toothbrush in his mouth. He, too, was shirtless, but this had the effect that Black did not. Resisting the temptation to stare at him, I gave him a sweet smile instead.

"James," I began in a sugary voice. Catching my tone, he went back into the bathroom to rinse his mouth, presumably to prepare himself for a shouting match. I waited.

After five minutes – too long a time for simply rinsing – I got out of bed and stalked into the bathroom to find my friend.

It was empty.

I spun around wildly, searching for that crazy shock of black hair, but it wasn't there. Instead, my eyes zeroed in on the open window across the bathroom. _Balls_. I hissed angrily, and stepped back into the room. Just as I did so, Black walked back in.

"Still here? And…" he leaned around me to check the floor for signs of blood, "James still alive?"

I was surprised, but I didn't smile. "He escaped." Then, before I could change my mind, I added, "Black…" He was in the midst of getting a tie from his wardrobe, and he turned to face me, an eyebrow arched questioningly. I avoided his eyes, instead focusing on a loose thread on my shirt. "You didn't need to sleep downstairs. I would've been fine on the couch."

He eyed me for a moment, then shrugged. "A gentleman should always put a lady's needs first. And it was no trouble. We couldn't have dropped you in your dorm, it's bloody impossible. We've tried _everything_." With quick, efficient movements, he knotted his tie and stuffed it under his robes. Headed for the door without a backward glance.

"Still. You shouldn't have."

He didn't face me, but he stopped moving. "Why?"

"Because you don't owe me _anything_. And because I don't want to feel guilty for this." His back stiffened, and I held my breath and waited, afraid that I had gone too far.

But it was a false alarm. All he said was, "Hurry. Transfiguration today, you don't want to miss breakfast." Then he was gone, down the stairs, and the door clicked shut behind him.

Unnerved, I showered in the boys' room and headed back to mine for a change of clothes. Then it was straight to the Great Hall, where I flopped down on the bench and immediately began scarfing down bacon and pancakes. Weird-ass combination, but it was the most amazing explosion of flavours _ever._ I eyed James nastily from where I sat, but he studiously avoided my slit-eyed gaze and left his seat early.

I was undeterred. As all the sixth years gathered in a corner of the Hall to wait, I managed to corner James.

"Jamesie?" I said sweetly. "Mind telling me why I woke up in _Sirius Black's bed?_"

"You woke up in Sirius Black's bed?" A voice asked before James could reply.

"Not now, Marls," I hissed at Marlene. She shot me a look and went to talk to Remus. In my peripheral vision, I noticed James trying to make a getaway. I latched onto his arm and stared at him for a minute. It didn't take much effort to make him crack.

"His was the only free bed," he muttered, looking at his feet. "And you know I can't get up to your room."

I could think of replies, but they all sounded pathetic. _Why couldn't I just sleep with you? _No, that sounded wrong. _Why couldn't you sleep in his bed, and I in yours? _But that just sounded pathetic, making too much out of nothing.

"Girl time," Marlene announced suddenly, pulling me away by the arm. When I took a peek over my shoulder, James was looking relieved. He noticed my glance and flashed me a grin, wiping imaginary perspiration off his forehead. Arse. I smiled to myself and turned back to Marls.

She faces me, shaking long, blonde hair out of her face.

"You WHAT?" she asked incredulously. "I thought you hated him!"

I explained quickly before things got out of hand. Marlene was notorious for overreactions; she once turned Christine Sully purple just for asking Frank for Potions help. "I fell asleep downstairs and since James can't enter the girls' dorm, Black slept downstairs and James put me in his bed."

Marlene eyed me suspiciously. "And that's it?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Why? What were you expecting?" I thought for a moment, and realised I didn't really want to know.

Her expression clouded, becoming disappointed.

"Damn," she sighed. "And here I was thinking you'd finally gone and gotten yourself a life. Hey!" She added, noticing my expression. "I wasn't questioning your… virtue, or anything. All I'm saying is, I hoped you were sneaking around behind my back."

I took a moment to process this. "You… _want_ me to have a boyfriend and not tell you?"

"Well… not exactly. But sweetie, you need to branch out a bit. Do something daring. Sometimes I wonder if you're doing it on purpose, if you're _stopping _yourself from having fun."

I scowled. "Whatever." Then something hit home, and I hissed, "What the hell? 'Questioning my virtue', what in bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I know you haven't lost it yet, and I was wondering if… you know… but still, plenty of time, you're only sixteen."

_Meh. _I was the youngest among all my friends, and it irritated me no end.

"You're saying you haven't? YOU?"

She defended herself. "Well yes, I have… but I've been with Frank for such a long time! He comforted me…" she trailed off as her boyfriend, Frank, came to put his arm around her waist and wish her good luck, He gave me a friendly nod and I smiled in return. Over his shoulder, I noticed Alice Prinkle looking away sadly and I felt a twinge of sympathy. I knew how she felt, I thought, watching James flirt shamelessly with Lily.

I backed away from Marlene with a 'Later, Marls' and headed to the wall. I leaned against it, going through incantations and wand movements and theories in my head. It provided a pretty useful distraction. Better than watching Regulus twist a piece of cloth in his fingers – gentle, elegant fingers, and the cloth part of a bracelet I'd given him – or worse, James creeping up behind Lily and grabbing her around the waist. _It could be worse, _some part of me reasoned, _she could actually be returning his affections._ But that was the _point_, after five years of unreturned feelings, James still insisted on chasing her?

Finally, Professor Mcgonagall entered the Great Hall, and Transfigured the four house tables into individual seats while flipping through a sheaf of exam papers. I seated myself in front of Marlene and behind James. He looked around, flashing first Black, then me a wink and a thumbs up. Black returned his grin, but as he turned to see who else James had smiled at, his face pulled downwards into a scowl. I sent him a big question mark, until I realised that he wasn't looking at me – he was looking _beyond_ me.

Turning to find the focus of Black's scowl, I saw that I was seated next to Regulus, and next to him was Snape. It could be either one. When I looked back at Black, he was facing the front, idly twirling his wand between his fingers, much like Regulus had been doing earlier with the fabric.

"Settle down!" Mcgonagall called. As papers appeared on each desk, the Hall settled into the exam-like atmosphere that all the fifth-years were now accustomed to.

Feeling a sudden burst of energy, I put my head down and started to write. And wrote, and wrote. Wrote until the last question ('In which circumstance and order must tongue-twisting and tooth-freezing spells be used?') was behind me. Throwing down my quill with a flourish, I leaned back in my chair, wincing as the muscles in my back protested. _Merlin, I'm glad that's over._ I looked around to see who else was done.

James was still scribbling away, as was Marlene. Both Black brothers were done, Sirius lounging back in his chair and Regulus with his head on his arm and his eyes closed. He seemed to notice my gaze; he opened his eyes and shot me a wink before going back to sleep.

In front of me, James put down his quill and ran a hand through his hair, looking over at Evans to see if she'd noticed. No luck, she was still writing, the little bookworm. Probably adding pages of bullshit in the hopes of getting extra marks. James messed up his hair more vigorously, the attention-seeking little shit, but all it got him was McGonagall swooping down on him and asking in a carrying whisper if he needed to see Madam Pomfrey for a lice problem. Everyone within earshot (which was… everyone) sniggered into their exam papers. Except Snape, who was probably staining the paper with greasy marks, he was so close to it.

James scowled and flattened his hair. He looked over his shoulder at me, and I couldn't conceal my amused smile. His scowl deepened. Aww. I'd have to make it up to him later. Possibly with lollipops, he adored the Muggle sweet. Merlin, he could really act like a five-year-old sometimes. It was just part of what attracted me, though. I didn't know how Evans could resist him for so long. Stupid girl, didn't know what she was missing out on.

"Time!" Mcgonagall announced suddenly. Several people jumped. Evans dropped her parchment; Black's quill went flying and hit Alice in the eye. James, in the middle of messing up his hair again, missed his hair and poked himself in the eye.

I cracked up, hiding my head underneath the desk to hide my laughter. There wasn't much I could do for my shaking shoulders, but I just hoped James wasn't looking. As a hundred scrolls of parchment flew into Mcgonagall's bag, I noticed Black smiling and watching me laugh. He turned his attention to James after a minute, who was holding a hand over his eye and scowling so hard he'd probably get premature frown lines.

I was still laughing weakly when James popped up by my side, Black in tow .

"Save your celebrating, Pup," James said loudly, apparently mistaking my tears of laughter for ones of happiness. "Come on, let's get in a bit of practice before the practical." My mouth opened involuntarily in a little 'O'. Was James Potter being… _responsible_?

Black answered my bewildered look. "No, he's just showing off for Lily."

Of course, Evans. I scowled briefly, then fixed my expression back into polite blankness as James looked back down at me.

"Right. Let's go," he said authoritatively. I stood up and started walking, all too aware of a pair of silver-grey eyes on my back which had not missed the expression on my face when James was showing off for Evans.

We had an hour and a half before the practical started, as the seventh-years were taking their NEWTs in the Great Hall, so we decided to head to the Marauders' Annex.

****xoxoxoxoxoxoxo****

The Annex was a secret room on the seventh floor, across from a tapestry of some wanker trying to teach trolls ballet. A mental case if I ever saw one. The trick was to walk past the tapestry three times, thinking hard about what you wanted, and a door would open across the passageway. In this case, the door opened up to a fully-fledged practice room, equipped with cushions for Stunning, and all other necessary materials.

Each facing in a different direction, we started casting Vanishing and Conjuring spells and when Marlene joined us (although not strictly speaking a "Marauder", we'd clued her in on our hideout) we split into pairs and practiced transfiguration of small body parts, teeth and eyebrows and the like.

"Oww," Marlene finally groaned, clapping a hand to her mouth. "Release it!" I grinned and cut the spell, restoring Marlene's tooth to its normal toothy heat and composition. I had just successfully managed to turn it into ice. _Excellent. Something new to use on James. _I grinned evilly and rubbed my hands together. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Marlene giving me a worried look. I sent her a sweet smile in return, and her right eye twitched a couple of times. She'd gotten used to my psychotic ways by now, it came with the territory.

Suddenly, I new thought occurred to me. "Guys, what time is it?" Since this room was magic, a clock very helpfully appeared on the wall in front of me. As if it was a sign, all our eyes turned to it automatically. And simultaneously, our faces dropped into expressions of horror.

"Let's go, go go!" I shrieked, grabbing up my cloak from the ground and sprinting for the door. The other three were close behind me, and we all sprinted for the Transfiguration wing where the practicals were taking place. As luck would have it, it was also on the other side of the bloody castle. We burst through door after door, sprinting through crowded corridors, sending people careening left and right…

And, as it turns out, it was all for nothing. In our panic, we'd forgotten that practicals were conducted in order of name. Since there were about twenty people with last names beginning with A, they were just hitting the B's when we showed up, red, panting, coughing, undignified.

Professor Flitwick stuck his head out of the door. "Barnby, Beilos, Black, Black," he called.

Across the room, I watched Regulus get to his feet and make his way across the room in that lazy, elegant style of his. I was dimly aware that his brother was doing the same next to me, but in that moment, all the feelings I'd had for Regulus Black came rushing back. He met my eyes, silver-grey and calm, from across the room. It was almost as if he could read my mind, for he looked surprised for a moment, and then his expression turned to staggering tenderness. He held my gaze for one long second, then he broke it and walked through the door. I tore my eyes away from the door just long enough to wish Black good luck, and looked to James.

He was sitting in a patch of sunlight, and it lit up his black hair, showing streaks of brown through it. He'd closed his eyes, and his long, beautiful fingers played with his wand. I loved him.

And then abruptly, I realised what I was doing and snapped out of it.

Torn between two men. Fabulous, was it not? And so _unbearably _cliché. From all the Muggle books I'd read, being torn between two lovers seemed the most common plot.

Although, I noted, in the books, the girl had to choose between two guys who both loved her. In my case, neither of them came _close_ to loving me. With a sour taste in my mouth, I watched James flirt incessantly with Lily. _Well, there's always Regu –_ the thought cut off abruptly as I watched Regulus walk out of the examination room, arm around Shania Beilos' waist. Bloody half-Spanish beauty. Watching them laugh together, my eyes actually teared up, and I coughed out a laugh, half-amused by my own stupidity. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Evans giving me a concerned look, and, strange as it was, her being my love rival and all, it warmed me. Genuine concern. For someone she had to know hated her. It wasn't like I tried to hide my antagonism towards her, so it was even more surprising when, two minutes later, I felt a small, warm hand on my shoulder and Evans' – _Lily's_ – voice asking…

"Norah? Are you alright?"

Involuntarily, my eyes flicked to James. He was staring at Lily like she was the sun and the moon and the stars all rolled into one – he didn't even seem to notice that she wasn't sitting down any more.

"Yeah, Lily, I'm fine. Thanks." If she was surprised by my civility, she didn't show it, instead squeezing my shoulder again before sitting down. James immediately struck up a conversation about OWLs, which Lily only participated in half-heartedly.

"Evans, Efton, Friedrick, Halter!" Came the call. Lily stood up and headed for the door, muttering incantations under her breath. James scooted closer to me and I inhaled, drinking in the scent of his aftershave.

But his next words ruined the moment. "Isn't she amazing?" He sighed.

For one horrible, endless moment, I was speechless. Then, regaining my traditional powers of meanness, I replied, "Potter, you sodding idiot. You're acting like a lovestruck _girl_. I always knew you were a tad sad and weird, but this is just…" I was cut off my James conjuring a pillow and flinging it at me. Laughing, I cast a nonverbal shield charm and the pillow bounced back, hitting James in the face.

Just then, a new list of names was called out: "Maddy, McKinnon, Nestor, Orvill!" I wished Marlene good luck and she blew me a kiss before walking into the examination room. I watched her toss her hair over her shoulder, accidentally whipping the Slytherin behind her in the face. He snarled and yanked out his wand (you don't even want to _know_ where he yanked it from – but let's just say it had serious sanitation issues as well as being an instrument of magical power), but before he could utter a word, I aimed my wand at him and muttered, "_Waddiwasi_". To his absolute shock, his wand jumped out of his hand and jammed itself up his nose. Snorting and snuffling, he pulled on it, and it came out covered in mucus.

"Oops," I said audibly. Marlene turned to me, shoulders shaking with repressed laughter. The Slytherin who I'd jinxed shot me an angry look, but was too busy cleaning off his wand to do anything to me. I could hear James' deep laugh from behind me – his voice had broken two years ago – and I smiled in response. Regulus flashed me a grin from across the dungeon. Obviously, the Slytherin boy – Celsus Nestor, his name was – was not in Regulus' favour. Or perhaps he just approved of my jinxing skills.

Meanwhile, his brother was making his way towards us, brushing black hair out of his eyes. I thought I saw a girl glance at him admiringly, but I was too busy thinking of my imminent failure in Transfiguration.

"Alright, Red?" Black asked. Snapping out of my trance, I blinked in surprise at the new nickname.

"Red?"

"Your hair's red in the light," James supplied. "Since you don't like Pup, we had to call you _something_."

Realising I hadn't answered Black's original question, I hastened to do so. "Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. Worried about Trandsfiguration. What if something goes wrong and I can't Conjure anything? And… and… what if I accidentally set the examiner's clothes on fire? _What if I accidentally Transfigure the examiner_?"

A hand cut off my babbling. I looked down at it and noted the ring: it was engraved with a "C" for "Cervus", the Latin name for stag. James. He'd never told me why he chose a stag for his ring, but I wasn't curious enough to ask anyway.

"Relax. If this idiot-", a smack to the back of Black's head – "could get through it, you can."

"I resent that!" Black exclaimed indignantly. I looked at his hand; his ring was engraved with a "C" for "canis", dog. Unlike James', however, his ring had a large black stone in the centre.

The two boys bantered for a while and I listened, amused. It was clear that they were doing this for the sole purpose of killing my anxiety.

Not for the first time that morning, I wondered what Sirius Black was up to. Letting me sleep in his bed, helping James to counter my anxiety…

_Is he trying to make up for what he's done?_

No. It couldn't be. It had been a year and a half, surely he wasn't feeling remorse only _now_?

"Payne, Potter, Quimby, Wood."

"What?" I said, confused. "There are loads of people between the last group and us. Oh, and between Quimby and Wood."

Black shrugged. James looked as confused as I was, but he wasn't interested. "Maybe they want to finish off the better students first," he told me, smirking.

"Remus didn't go yet and he's a Transfiguration whiz," I pointed out. James deflated.

"In that case, they're doing the worst students first, and they've most likely experienced some nutty stuff by now. A little more can't hurt."

"Maybe we can scare them off if we do the spells on _them_ one too many times," Marlene put in, having completed the exam and rejoined the group. The teachers hadn't seen fit to stop the students who'd already finished the exam from coming here. When it came to the exam, it didn't really matter what they told you would happen. It really came down to you and your control over your wand. Musing on this and other extremely wise things, I let James pull me to my feet (which he did with little or no effort) and walked to the door of the room.

"Red," he said quietly as we reached it. I looked over at him questioningly. "You'll do great. Just remember the incantation, focus all your thoughts and do what you have to. Understood?"

I saluted. Then the door opened at of and a towering wizard with no hair but a fascinatingly long beard beckoned us inside. I just caught sight of the previous batch of examinees disappearing around the corner, some of them white and shaking. I gulped and walked through the door, hearing a thud and a clank as it shut and locked behind me.


	3. Teethsickles

**Hey, guys!**

**I promise you, this was supposed to be posted on like... Friday. But when I say that I was busy, I really mean it. I got home on Friday after school and walked straight into an awful fight with my best friend (which is cleared up now... yay!) and then went out for dinner, and then on Saturday I was out literally the whole day... like from 5:30 am till 8:30 or so, at which point I came home, ate dinner and read The Last Song until I collapsed in bed from exhaustion at around 10. Seriously, I was so tired I forgot to turn off the light, and my grandma woke up to pee at 2 AM at which point she turned it off for me. =\**

**Anyway, here's the overdue update! Hope you enjoy it ;) **

**Disclaimer: Not mine... but you already know that. **

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><p><strong><span>Teethsickles<span>**

_Sirius_

Shouldn't be long now, I thought. I checked the big clock in the hall over and over again, waiting.

Five minutes.

Ten minutes.

Maybe Payne had finally made a move on Prongs.

Maybe Prongs had realised that the poor girl was in love with him and made a move on _her_.

Maybe Prongs had already figured that out, but also just realised that she was in love with my arse of a brother. Maybe they were having a shouting match right now.

Fifteen minutes.

"Bloody - " I snarled, kicking at a door. I ran a hand through my already tousled hair, messing it up even further. _That's it, one minute more and I'm leaving, I don't care –_

"Something wrong, Padfoot?" James' voice quipped from behind me. I whirled around, growling.

"Oh, finally decided to show up, have you?"

"We didn't know you'd be waiting," he replied easily.

"What can I say? I'm _loyal_. Unlike some people."

"Nah, it's probably because of your A - "

I cut him off with a snarl. He was about to reveal the most secret of secrets… which definitely was not okay with me. I looked up to scowl at him again, and for the first time noticed the person in the crook of his arm.

"Sweetie, you'll have to eat eventually," he was telling her. With a jolt of shock, the candle lit.

Payne?

I almost didn't recognise her. Her skin was milky white as opposed to its normal tanned colour. Her hair looked like she had fretted over it for a while and she was shaking like a leaf in high wind.

"Um…" I began, not sure how to ask what in fuck's name was going on.

"She, erm… " James began.

"I Vanished the examiner's hair," Payne said hollowly. My mouth involuntarily dropped open in horror. But she wasn't done… "And turned all his teeth into… _teeth_sickles!"

Normally, I would laugh. But Payne looked so utterly woebegone that I took pity. If she had forgotten to be nasty to me, she really _must _be feeling awful.

"It's just a Transfiguration grade, Payne," I said as reassuringly as I could. It was hard for me to show any kind of respect or care for Payne, but I did my best.

"You guys are _rich_," she said, spitting out the last word. "You'll do… whatever it is… after we're done at Hogwarts, but you'll never need to if you don't want to. I, on the other hand…"

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, pulling at the ends and twisting them a bit, straightening out the mess. I watched with a kind of fascination – my hair I had always taken care of, more than any other part of my body. Call it narcissism, but I always needed to look my best. The arrogance of my family still lived on in me, despite my having run away and being blasted off the family tree. In all honesty, the Black family tree wasn't worth being on, anyway.

Give me the Potter family tree any day.

Hell, I'd even take the Payne family tree over my own.

"Listen," I said as nicely as I could. "It's over now. There's nothing you can do about it. So just relax, eat something and don't worry about it till summer. Got it?" I added sternly, not wanting to be mistaken for actually caring.

"I'll see what I can do," she replied, though not as snappily as usual. "Wanker," she tossed over her shoulder as she walked away. I smiled slightly at her back. That was the Payne I knew.

_Norah_

Oddly enough, I was feeling buoyed up by Black's words. It was true; the exam _was _over and there was nothing I could do about it. I passed my examiner en route to the Great Hall and gave him an apologetic grimace. He sniffed and turned away, but another examiner, one I knew – by the name of Professor Trilby – tipped me a large wink while my examiner's back was turned.

"Nice to see you've regained your appetite, Payne," Marlene commented from down the table. My year mates laughed and James poked me a few times. By now, the story of the teethsickles had spread – most likely by Marlene and Sirius – but luckily, no one teased. Most everyone despised the examiners for arriving at school to force us into these terrible tests.

And even more amazing than that was the way my house rallied around anyone who though they'd copped it in an exam. For example, about six people were clustered around Peter Pettigrew, telling him jokes. He was convinced he'd failed Potions.

No, not that we were acting like a family. I was more amazed that this was the first time I'd noticed it. Smiling, I helped myself to another ladleful of sweet corn soup.

"House-elves branching out a bit, aren't they?" I said to James, noting the Oriental style of the soup.

"I don't like it," he scowled. He poked at a bit of crab in his soup and I suppressed a laugh.

"Food is food, Jamesie. If you don't want it, I'm happy to have it."

Consenting to have a sip of soup (the threat of me stealing his food was too much), he gingerly inserted his spoon into his mouth. "Good baby," I cooed at him. He scowled, but his frown relaxed when the taste of the soup hit his tongue.

"Told you so," I said smugly.

"Any idea why we had examiners this year?" Evans asked from somewhere down the table.

"I heard McGonagall saying something about… standards dropping," Black answered thoughtfully, digging into a plate of what looked like… dumplings? "And I also caught the words 'this ought to be a kick in the arse.'"

"Idiot, McGonagall never said the word arse," I heard Remus call from the seat next to James.

"What can I say, Moony?" Black grinned at his friend, showing very even, very white teeth. "Wishful thinking."

Suddenly, a new thought occurred to me. "Hang on…" I said slowly. "Today was Transfiguration. Does that mean…"

Astonished looks spread over the faces of my fellow Gryffindor sixth-years.

It was James who broke the silence. "WE'RE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he shrieked, tossing his bowl of soup into the air and jumping onto his seat. It was a moment of two before Gryffindor house got over their shock, but his cry was soon echoed by most of Gryffindor, excluding the OWL-taking fifth years, whose OWLs were only finishing in a week's time. Bowls of peas and mashed potatoes and hamburgers went flying across the room (some were levitated… guilty) and soon enough, the other houses were shouting and tossing food around too.

Professor McGonagall rose from her seat, lips extra-thin, but Dumbledore stopped her. I heard him murmur something, and she sat down.

****xoxoxoxoxoxoxo****

Fifteen minutes later, and covered in various types of food, we trekked down the hallway in a large group. Promising to do it again someday, four houses set off to their respective common rooms, still calling out over their shoulders.

"How about next week? When OWLs are done?"

"Did you _see…_"

"Hey, Adrian! Nice EggHawk!" I looked over my shoulder at this last one and snorted at the messy Mohawk on top of the tall student's head. I could see bits of yolk in his hair – and bits of sweet corn soup.

"How about - "

"When should we - "

"You poked me in the eye with a bloody carrot, you nutcase…"

"_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HALLWAY?" _Came a sudden screech from in front of us. The caretaker, Steven Scrimby stood shaking his fist at us.

Thankfully, when he saw the number of filthy students, he was at a bit of a loss as to how to put us _all _in detention at the same time. It was this moment of confusion which gave us the needed time to scatter.

Let me define "us" more precisely. "Us" is another word for those students who had the presence of mind to make a break for It through the nearest concealed passageway, or even dart past Scrimby himself. Being old and slightly on the puffy side, he was in no position to chase us.

In total, the number of students who got away were around forty from Gryffindor, twenty from Hufflepuff, thirty from Ravenclaw and thirty from Slytherin.

And the rest were stuck cleaning the hallway as punishment for messing it up.

Dinner that night was a fun affair. At least, for the Marauders and I. And the rest of the Gryffindors who'd escaped punishment. As I entered the Great Hall and sat down, I could hear other runaways loudly discussing the fun we'd had with the Giant Squid at the lakeside. I grinned, working out their ploy and joined in on a conversation.

"And when Barkins got tossed in the air…"

"Oh, remember when I said she had green hair and she looked down at it just in time to get a face full of lakeweed?"

"Oh, and when McKinnon and Longbottom were making out and the Giant Squid splashed them?"

"It was _so scary,_ nearly getting dragged down by a Grindylow! I'm _so_ lucky that Sirius was there to save me!"

Aggravated looks had been sent at us for the last ten minutes, but this last comment pushed the detention victims off the edge – especially the female ones.

The comment had come from Kathy Clyde, an airhead Gryffindor sixth-year who was so absolutely prissy that I couldn't fathom why she was in Gryffindor. Probably cause no one else would take her. Although at that moment, it seemed like Gryffindor was about to turn on their own house-mate. About fifty glares were turned on Clyde, but she ignored the danger signals, continuing to babble on about how exactly Black had rescued her. I didn't know Black well myself, but I knew that he would've rolled his eyes if he'd been here. Since I'd been present at the scene myself, I knew that all that had happened was that he'd dragged her out of the lake and muttered, "Take better care of yourself next time, airhead."

"And then he gave one last, huge tug and I slid out of the Grindylow's grasp and straight into his arms! And then he said to me, Kathy - "

Her annoying, high voice cut off as about four handfuls of mashed potatoes went flying into her face. Amused, I watched as she stalked out of the Great Hall, screeching and cursing. She earned a detention from McGonagall for her profanity. With bits of mashed potato hanging from her face – even her eyelashes – she passed a laughing Black on the way in, James in tow. They shot each other bemused looks and headed for where I was sitting, although – in Black's case – a tad reluctantly.

"What happened to Kathy?" James asked me.

"Got bombarded with mashed potatoes by jealous female detentionees," I replied casually, looking up in time to catch his bewildered expression. "Which is also the reason why Black here is getting about fifty glares from the surrounding female Gryffindors." I said this last part loudly, so as to give those stupid bimbos a hint, but they kept on staring.

"She was bragging about how you 'saved' her from a Grindylow," Marlene clarified with a roll of her eyes.

"And everyone who's _not_ an airhead got irritated because everyone was talking about the Giant Squid and someone called Barkins…" this from Lily, who shot us a sour look as she said it.

"How was it, cleaning Oriental soup from the walls?" I asked her cheekily.

"Oh, rub it in, why don't you!" she cried, not a trace of sarcasm in her voice. Angrily flinging her spoon down, she stalked out of the Great Hall, in much the same manner as Clyde had done ten minutes ago – minus the mashed potato. I turned to James and Marlene with raised brows.

"Beats me," said James thoughtfully, though sending me a reproachful look for pissing Lily off. "It was just cleaning, how bad could it be?"

"It was bloody awful, that's how bad it was," came a hollow voice from behind us. I turned to see Alice, looking utterly worn out. "Scrimby made us use our toothbrushes – no wands. _And _ a really awful cleaning agent, it burned… I'm scared to use my toothbrush now, it might burn a hole through my teeth…" She held out her hands, covered in half-healed burns.

"Blimey," I breathed, feeling a wave of pity for those I had just been teasing. "That just…"

"Sucks balls," James supplied when I couldn't find an adequate word.

"You said it," Peter Pettigrew rejoined heavily. He'd been trapped in the mass of people and couldn't get to us in time to escape.

But eventually, I returned to my food and my thoughts returned to the exam.

It was true, though, there was nothing I could do about it. If I failed Transfiguration and my mother found out… well, I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. But suffice to say that Norah Payne would not be returning to Hogwarts for seventh year due to her sad, untimely death.

Pondering gloomy thoughts such as this, I barely noticed when James plopped onto the bench next to me. He spooned up some mashed potatoes from my plate, flashing me a heart-melting smile before getting some of his own.

"Knut for your thoughts, Red?" James asked, flipping the little bronze coin under my nose. Snatching it out of the air, I pocketed it. Looking impressed by my skill, he informed me that I should have tried for Seeker back in second year.

James was the star Chaser on the Gryffindor team, it was part of what made him so popular. He was most definitely headed for Quidditch captain next year.

"Don't be ridiculous, Beating is my thing, it's what I'm good at," I told him through a mouthful of carrots.

"I've got to admit that you're right," he agree. "We never thought you'd have it in you at tryouts, but you bloody knocked Adam Wood off his broom!" He chortled at the memory and I joined in with his laughter, remembering the moment.

"You and Sirius make a great team," he mused. I stiffened, about to snap at him. How could he say that? Then I realised what he meant, and I held my words back just in time. He wasn't trying to provoke me, he was simply saying things from a Captain's point of view.

"Yeah, we do," I agreed, surprising myself. But it was true, since Black and I joined the team in second year, Gryffindor had never lost a Quidditch cup.

Nor a House Cup, I reminded myself. Even after all the points lost by James and Black's troublemaking, somehow Evans and her friends managed to gain all of them back in time for the House Cup.

"Prongs, Quidditch practice after dinner," Black announced. "Adam just told me. He said he saw the Slytherin team practicing Skempinny manoeuvres and that we needed to 'up our game'." His fingers shaped air quotes around the last three words, but I barely noticed. I was still stuck on 'Skempinny manoeuvres'.

Ardvic Skempinny was a legend. No, that didn't even cover it. Even bookworms who spent their life holed up in little alcoves with tomes thicker than a wall – even _they _ knew who he was. He'd played for the Redrun Ravens for fifteen years and they never lost a single match thanks to his Seeking – and his absolutely unbelievable manoeuvres.

After his team disbanded (long story short – _this_ is why good managers are imperative) he set up an exclusive Quidditch school. You had to pay about a million Galleons to sign up just for a year.

"But _how_?" I burst out. James and Black looked at me quizzically; they had been in the middle of another conversation while I'd been pondering the Slytherins' tactics. "How did they _learn_ the manoeuvres? You know as well as I do that his school is bloody impenetrable, therefore his lessons are bloody impossible to learn."

"Heard that Herman Lestrange's pretty close to Skempinny. Lestrange's on the Slytherin Quidditch team, maybe he… shared the knowledge." Black answered.

James and I shared a look. It was no secret that Rodolphus Lestrange and his bitch of a girlfriend, Bellatrix Black, were headed for bad things once out of Hogwarts. It was rumoured that they had the sign of the so-called Death Eaters branded into their arms already.

"She's the bitch who put me in St. Mungo's last year!" I hissed. Black looked confused. It was usually a bit tough for people to follow the way James and I thought.

"Er… who are we talking about?"

"Bellatrix," James told him gently. His face hardened and he took a sudden, strong interest in his plate of chicken legs. The two were related and I almost felt bad for him – having _that_ as a cousin?

"What did she do?" he asked, still not looking up.

"Hexed Pup. She was in Mungo's for a month."

"You missed me," I said cheekily, trying to relieve the tension. James smiled, but the anger didn't leave his eyes.

"Miss you? An annoying little squirt who just _wouldn't_ leave me alone?"

Feigning shock and hurt, I stood up, sending him an icy look. "Well – if that's the way it is. Enjoy your freedom." Tossing my napkin on the table, I stalked from the Great Hall – the third in half an hour.

Running footsteps soon sounded behind me and I grinned. _I have the power!_

"I didn't mean it, Pup, so, so sorry…" James gasped, bending over to relieve his cramp.

"You really are in awful shape for someone who plays Quidditch," I observed critically from where I stood.

"I just ate, can you cut me some slack - " he cut himself off. "What? Aren't you angry with me?"

I sent him a disappointed look. "Idiot," I said affectionately, ruffling his hair.

"You'll pay for that one, Pup..." he said warningly. I stuck out my tongue childishly and walked away – which was when something hit my back and I crashed to the ground – although it didn't hurt because James made sure to cushion my head with his arm.

"Right," he said decisively. And then – he started tickling me.

Now, if there's anything I hate, it's being tickled. It's my biggest weakness. And right then, James had his hands all over me (not in a sick way – minds out of the gutters!) and was tickling the life of out me.

"James – stop – please!" I rasped, trying to push his hands away.

"Promise never to scare me like that again?"

"Promise!" I shouted, desperate. He checked my hands for crossed fingers. Finding none, he let me up. We headed back to the Great Hall to finish dinner, everyone looking at us curiously, wondering where we had been.

The remainder of dinner passed fairly quickly, and we were soon heading back to our dorms, after getting dessert from the kitchens. Feeling relaxed, we didn't even take shortcuts, simply taking the long way back to Gryffindor tower.

"So, James? What are we doing tomorrow, now that we're free?" I grinned up at him and he ruffled my hair.

"Something fun, Pup. Something fun." He wrapped an arm around me and I leaned in automatically. I saw Black raising an eyebrow but he kept silent.

"Touching."

The cold voice came from behind us, and all three of us spun around, wands drawn faster than you could say 'Duel'. And the first thing we saw? Four Slytherin sixth-years, smiling slightly and twirling their wands.


	4. Friction

**Hey guys! I was going to post this on Sunday, but because I'm a REALLY, REALLY nice person, I'm posting it today. It's more of a filler than a chapter with actual substance, but you get to see some tension between Sirius and Norah AND some Regulus AND some civil conversation with Lily! ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

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><p><strong><span>Friction<span>**

"Rosier, Pucey," I stated coldly. "Oh, and Blackthorne and Hawkins too, what a lovely foursome. No Lestrange tonight?" I added, looking over Evan Rosier's shoulder.

"Hello, love," Rosier smiled. I tried not to melt. Rosier, although undoubtedly evil, had those kind of unfairly handsome features which made even (hate to say it) James and Black look dull in comparison.

High cheekbones framing dark, liquid-centre eyes. Straight black hair falling past his eyebrows. Long, strong arms with obvious veins. He absolutely reeked of masculinity and I often wondered if he used a charm to make himself so appealing.

I was so absorbed in wondering which charm he may have used that I didn't notice him drawing closer. It was only when his breath whispered across my lips that I spoke.

"Evan," I said politely, looking up at him through my lashes.

"Norah," he returned. "Run along now," he whispered, "this isn't something a young lady ought to see." I barely moved as he ducked to press a kiss to my collarbones. Little bursts of heat shivered out from the spot where his lips had touched and I struggled not to tremble. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed James making for Rosier, a livid expression on his face. Black held him back.

He was right. This was my fight. Cold anger stirred in my stomach. Gorgeous he might be, but I couldn't let myself forget that Evan Rosier was the enemy.

"And what, exactly, is 'this'?" I asked softly, playing along.

"I don't want to fight you people," he said. "Actually… I do," he corrected. "I just don't want to fight _you_. Gallantry and all that, you know. Although, gallantry aside, you look like you need a good shag. Anytime you feel lonely…" he trailed off suggestively. Red lights flashed in my vision from the strength of my anger. I kept a lid on it.

"Why the sudden interest, Evan? Some fresh meat, now you've done all your Slytherin sluts?"

"Norah - "

"So desperate you'd shag a Gryffindor?"

"Payne - "

"Didn't think even _Slytherins_ would be this sex-starved and pathetic."

Suddenly, he was even closer, too close. I backed up, against the wall, his body flush against mine and his lips a hair away. "Don't push me, Payne," he warned, a seductive trace of danger in his voice.

I'd had enough. Yanking out my wand, I blasted him away from me with a nonverbal _Repellum_, followed by an _Expelliarmus! _Topping it off with a Bat Bogey Hex, I stood back and watched as his buddies ran for cover – except Pucey. James and Black dealt with him while I finished Rosier off with an _Incarcerous_. Feeling a tiny burst of pity (my Bat Bogey Hexes were _strong_), I lifted the hex and allowed him to talk. His eyes flashed and burned with anger, but he still managed to smile. "Offer still stands, love," he purred, before I gagged him with a flick of my wand and levitated him into a broom cupboard.

"Dump him in here!" I called to James.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" I heard Black cry, and then Pucey landed with a slight thump next to the still-wriggling Rosier.

"Took out a whole Slytherin by yourself!" James laughed, pinching my cheek. I slapped his hand away.

"Took two of _you_ to knock out that one," I smirked, motioning with my chin to Pucey. I slammed the door on the two Slytherins and cast a Silencing charm on it. "Whoops. Accidentally cast a Silencing charm. And I forgot how to revoke it!" I cried in mock-horror. "Looks like these two will have to wait until someone opens the door by chance."

"Good call." James held his hand up for a high-five, laughing at how high I had to reach to slap it. Finally, exhausted from exams, fun and the fight, we headed back to our dorms, uninterrupted. I bid the boys goodnight and headed up, sinking into my pillows and comforter happily.

****xoxoxoxoxoxoxo****

I was woken the next morning by Marlene dumping a bucket of water on my face.

"What the – Marlene!" I spluttered, spitting water out onto the blanket. "What is _wrong _with you?"

"I needed to get you up! Adam called a Quidditch practice!"

Looking outside the window, I noticed the dark sky. "What's the time?"

"Four a.m.," she replied guiltily.

I slumped back on the pillows.

_Slap._

"Marlene!" I shrieked, grateful that we were the only two girls in the dormitory.

"Get _up!_ Do you want to lose to Slytherin?" A Chaser on the team, Marlene was just as Quidditch-obessed as the rest of us.

I sighed and heaved myself out of my lovely, fluffy bedsheets.

"Goodbye, my loves," I said sadly to my pillow and blankets, yanking on my scarlet Quidditch robes and bidding my bed goodbye. Marlene rolled her eyes and dragged my down the stairs. Frank was waiting at the bottom for her and she let go of me so she could give him a good-morning kiss. I sent a spell at my mouth so that no one would die from my morning breath and headed out of the portrait hole.

The couple caught up with me, Frank pulling on his Keeper gloves. Seeing the worried look on my face, he asked what was bugging me.

"Skempinny manoeuvres," I answered meaningfully. "Really?"

"Manoeuvres or not, we can take them down," he reassured me.

"But _Skempinny_," I whined fearfully.

"Oh ye of little faith!" He cried dramatically. "We have three _excellent _Chasers," he began, bumping Marlene's hip with his own. "Two _fabulous _Beaters," he continued, flashing me a grin. "One _legendary_ Seeker… and me, of course," he finished modestly.

"Don't be ridiculous, Frank, you're a fantastic Keeper! I heard Davies complaining that his team's Keeper wasn't as good."

"See what I mean? We're favourites for the Cup this year."

"As we are every year," Marlene added with a wink. Laughing, we turned right at the castle doors and headed for the changing rooms.

"Right!" Adam said the second we stepped in. Looking around, the remainder of our team could be seen sprawled around the room in mid-snore. "Now everyone's arrived, I'll begin. Over the holidays, I spent a lot of time thinking about out playing styles, but seeing the Slytherins doing Skempinny manoeuvres, that _really_ got me thinking. So, to give an overview…"

"For the love of Merlin, Wood," I groaned from my position between James and Marlene (James was sleeping on my shoulder). "It's bloody four in the morning, can we just _play_? At least it might wake us up."

My words were greeted with an enthusiastic mumble from the half-asleep members of my team. I saw James run a hand through his hair and almost grinned. The action was so routine to him, I wouldn't be surprised if he did it in his sleep.

Wood glared at me, but I knew he was just playing.

"Aww," I cooed, standing up and hugging him. "I'm sorry to cut your speech off, but save the tactics talk for when the rest of us are awake, yeah?"

"Hear, hear," I heard someone mumble from the back or the room. Could've been Black.

"Cheeky little sod," Adam muttered, but he squeezed me back all the same. Letting me go, he turned to the rest of the team. "Let's fly!"

To sleepy to voice our usual battle roar, we all yawned simultaneously and mooched out onto the field. Halfway there, I realised I had forgotten my broom and turned back to get it.

_Oh, no. _Stopping dead in the doorway, I knocked on the doorframe tentatively. The boy lying sprawled on the bench showed no signs of movement. Sighing, I crossed to his side of the room.

"Black! Wake up!" I called, shaking him when he showed no signs of waking up.

"Go 'way. It's bloody four a.m., Potter," he said sleepily. I snorted. Did James' voice sound feminine or did mine sound masculine?

"Black. Practice time. Get your ass off this bench."

"Kendra, baby, is that you? Haven't seen you… mmm… in so long," he grunted, stretching up an arm and yanking me down to lie beside him against his chest. Which, I suddenly noticed, was bare. I mean, not like I didn't notice, but I didn't notice as fast as, say, Marlene would. Squirming, I tried to focus on getting loose and _not _focus on how much I hated being in contact with him and how awkward it was. "Kendra," he murmured, arms tightening. He rubbed his cheek on mine and I grimaced. _Ew_.

Time for drastic action. Hating every second of it, I touched my fingers to his cheek, which had a light dusting of stubble on it. Thinking I wasn't going anywhere, he loosened his grip – and I jumped away. _Suck on that, loser._ Grabbing my broom, I ran for the pitch.

"Where were you?" James asked when I finally stepped onto the grass.. "And where's Sirius?"

"I was – don't laugh – getting my broom. Don't _laugh_!" I added sharply as he began to show signs of hysteria. "And Black's bloody asleep in the changing room," I said in an attempt to shut him up. It didn't work.

"Forgot – broom - playing – _Quidditch_!" he gasped, tears pooling in his eyes.

"You see what you've done to us by waking us at such an ungodly hour?" Marlene cried dramatically.

"James is hysterical, Sirius is asleep and Norah – pfft – forgot – psshh hahaha! – her – _gasp_ – broom!" This from Janey King, our third Chaser, whose last four words were rendered almost unintelligible by the chokes and gurgles of laughter.

And then James suddenly collapsed. Shocked, everyone gathered around him – but when I saw him, I dropped my broom. Catching one look at his shaking shoulders and red face, I turned and headed for the changing room. "Sod it, I'm out for today!" I cried over my shoulder, Banishing my broom to the changing rooms.

"Why?" Adam asked, shocked.

"He's bloody laughing so hard he can't breathe! This is a mortal insult!"

My indignant words only served to make him laugh harder, but this time his hysteria gave voice in a shrieking series of hyena laughs which set the whole team – including me – off. I don't know what we must have looked like to Black, who walked out at that moment – six people, all known to be relatively sane, cackling away on the grass. We were still wiping away tears of mirth when he asked, bewildered, "Who Banished their broom? It smacked me on the head on the way in!"

It set me off laughing again, and I rolled around on the grass, clutching my aching stomach. The rest of my team – except Black, who was still confused – stared at me for a moment then cracked up again. "Great job, broom!" I called out drunkenly, collapsing as giggles took over my frame.

Finally, ten minutes later, hiccoughing and covered in grass, we stood and dusted ourselves off. Adam surveyed us critically.

"Yeah, whatever," he shrugged. "Practice cancelled."

Whooping, we ran for the locker rooms.

"Pity," I told James. "The laughing actually woke me up. I couldn't go to sleep now if I tried!"

"Some people could," he replied, motioning with his chin and shucking his robes as he did so. I turned to see Black, shirtless again, sprawled our on the same bench as before.

"I pity your mother, having to wake you two up during holidays!"

"We're big boys, we can wake up by ourselves," he replied loftily. He walked off ahead to pick up his broom. I studied his bare back muscles surreptitiously.

"Oh, really?" I asked quietly, not intending for him to hear.

"I heard that!" he called over his shoulder. "And I'll get revenge!"

"Yeah, good luck with that!" I shouted back, dumping my broom and robes in my locker. I slammed it shut behind me and it let out a ghostly wail. "Oh, shut up," I told it, patting its head.

"Talking to lockers, second sign of madness," James informed me on his way out.

"So what's the first sign?"

"Talking to yourself. At least, that's what a mirror in the Leaky Cauldron said to me once."

"And what did you say?"

"I told the mirror to shut up."

"Talking to mirrors, third sign of madness," I smiled smugly.

"Touché. I'll have to find another way to prove your insanity." He surveyed me, one hand on his chin.

"Whatever you say, James. Just go shave first, okay? You look like a half-grown shrub."

Leaving him behind me looking insulted, I caught up to Marlene.

"Hey!" he shouted from behind me. "Who said you always got the last word!"

"Girl power," Marlene muttered. I gave her a weird look. "Muggle thing," she shrugged.

"I know, but it just sounded weird coming out of your mouth," I explained. She stuck her tongue out at me.

****xoxoxoxoxoxoxo****

Breakfast. At last. We'd peeked into the Great Hall on our way in, but the tables weren't even up yet. Four thirty a.m., can't blame the house-elves, I guess. Figuring they wouldn't be up, I opted not to go to the kitchen and to just skulk around in the Great Hall until the tables appeared. And finally, after an agonising half hour, they appeared, laden with food.

I eagerly dug into a plate of kippers, dumping a load of them onto my plate along with some toast and some scrambled eggs. James was really missing out by not waiting in the Great Hall with me.

Teachers started to appear, some looking taken aback at the sight of me and some too sleepy to notice. But oddly enough, the first student to walk into the Hall was none other than Sirius Black.

Really, fate was not on my side today.

First the whole conversation we had the previous morning. Then, how civil he'd been after the teethsickle incident. Then, the whole… _chest_ episode. And now, he was stumbling into the hall, running a hand through his dark locks, tangling them up. The only other student at the Gryffindor table.

Thankfully, he sat himself as far away from me as he could get. If he'd sat close by, my polite side would force me to participate in some conversation.

I shoved another mouthful of kippers in and helped myself to some porridge. Sprinkling it with chocolate and nuts and berries, I sat back and slowly ate it. My stomach nearly exploded, but it wasn't often I got such a good breakfast. Usually, by the time I appeared for breakfast, all the good stuff was gone. I was almost considering waking up early just for this when Marlene plopped down beside me.

"Weeeeell, don't you look happy?" I drawled, noticing her swollen lips. She blushed and nicked a spoonful of porridge.

"Damn, that's good," she said, her eyes widening. "We should make it a habit to wake up early, the grub's amazing." She took another spoon, and I saw it as my cue to save my food.

"Get your own!"

"But… yours is tasty," she pouted. "I won't be able to make it right…"

"Merlin's beard," I muttered, filling a bowl with porridge and dumping some chocolate and berries on top. "There. Eat."

"Now _that_," came a voice from over my shoulder, "looks tasty." Turning, I saw Evans peering down into my porridge. As goody-goody as she was, she was a late riser too.

"Mine," I told her, pulling it protectively towards myself.

"At least tell me what you put in it!" she said indignantly.

"Berries, chocolate, nuts. They're all over there somewhere," I said, motioning with my hand in the general direction. "Why are you up so early, anyway?"

"Had a nightmare. You?"

"Quidditch," I grumbled. Turning back to Marlene, I saw her wide eyes.

"Are you actually being _civil_ to Lily Evans?" she whispered incredulously. In my small group of friends, Marls was the only one who knew about my crush on James.

"She's okay, you know. Nice. Despite being the gem of Slughorn's collection."

"Um… okay. Wow."

She didn't say anything more, and turned back to her porridge. Spotting some dried apricots down the table, I dumped those into mine too.

"Share," James said from behind me, stealing a couple off the top. I smiled, motioning for him to sit beside me. Dried apricots were his favourite.

"Oy! Padfoot!" he called. Black turned, and seeing his best mate, ambled over to where we were sitting. I spooned up the last of my porridge and stood up, with difficulty.

"Easy there, Oatmeal," James said with a smirk. "I think your abdomen has swollen by about six inches. What else did you eat apart from porridge?"

"Kippers, eggs, toast, bacon, pancakes," I listed off with an air of satisfaction.

"Well," James said, looking amazed. "Lucky there are seven hours until lunch, then."

Rolling my eyes, I strolled out of the Great Hall, wondering if the temperature was fine for a thinking time by the lake. Heading for my favourite beech tree, I sat an enjoyed the silence, my thoughts drifting.

Unconsciously, my thoughts drifted to Regulus. I remembered seeing him the previous day with that girl, and I wondered who she was.

_Stop it,_ I told myself firmly. _You shouldn't care any more. _But it was hard, there was no denying that. It was hard to get over a guy when you had to see him – and his carbon copy – every single day. Really, it was the only bad thing about boarding school. Can't escape anyone, not even on weekends.

And speak of the devil, there he was, with that stupid blonde girl. His arm was around her waist and he was whispering in her ear. Stupid perky little twit was giggling away, looping an arm around his neck. I looked away; I didn't want or need to see anything R-rated. Picking up my things, I stood up slowly and silently, heading for the other side of the Black Lake.

And then, curse me, a twig snapped under my boot. Regulus looked over at me and for one second, our eyes connected. Grey meets grey-blue. The best part of Regulus, in my opinion. His bimbo didn't notice anything, but her expression became confused. As Regulus turned to say something to her, I slipped away. From a safe distance, I turned and looked back. Although Regulus was still paying attention to his girlfriend, he was searching all around him for something. Or someone.

I turned and walked back to the castle.

****xoxoxoxoxoxoxo****

"No, Potter! I will not bloody go out with you! Can't you get it through your thick skull?"

"Lilyflower, please - "

"Are you deaf, Potter?" she asked pleasantly.

"I – what?" He asked, obviously confused.

"Deaf, Potter. Are you?"

"No… why?" I shook my head. Poor sod. He was walking right into a Lily-style explosion.

"Because I have told you _time and time and again and YOU NEVER SEEM TO HEAR ME!_" She shrieked, getting progressively louder with each word. "I will _not_ go out with you, no matter how many times you ask! It won't happen!" Dropping the book she had been reading, she strode furiously out through the portrait hole, her red tresses flicking past my astonished face.

"Oh, dear," I murmured to Remus. "How did he propose to her this time?"

"Got down on one knee, offered her a lily, magically magnified his voice for the whole of Gryffindor to hear and told her she was most radiant lilyflower in the whole, wide world," he replied in a bored voice.

"Boy really has a lot of creativity, doesn't he?" I said admiringly. "The past five years, he's never failed to think of another way to ask her out."

"It's not a time for joking, _Payne_," Black hissed as he passed me. A bit surprised at his hostile tone, I followed him with my eyes – to where James was sitting, head in his hands.

"Shit," I muttered. "Guess five years of rejection finally got to him, huh?"

"Go comfort him," Remus said, nudging me in his direction. Navigating the many tables and chairs in the room, I crouched next to my shaking best friend.

"Let's get him upstairs," I told Black. He shot me a dirty look but helped James to his feet. I led the way, shooting glares at anyone daring to stare. We reached the stairs with an air of relief, sighing as we passed into the cool, dark atmosphere of the stairwell. We dumped James on the bed and I cuddled up next to him, stroking his hair. Black shot me a dark look but I disregarded it.

"James," I said softly. "Hey. Listen. She's not worth it, understood?" He shook his head stubbornly, and I forced his chin up so that he would look at me.

"Five years, love. _Five_. If she hasn't seen what an awesome guy you can be by now, then screw her."

"I can't give up on her, Pup."

I shook my head morosely, widening my eyes at Black to indicate that it was his turn. He crouched next to James' bed, poking him until he looked up.

"Listen, Payne's right. Mate… you've been trying to five years. I think it's just a lost cause."

"Someday she'll look back and regret it," I added. James wiped his eyes and looked at us gratefully.

"I can try," he said sadly. "But being in love with her – it's routine now. I don't know if I can _not_ love her." A few more tears slipped out and I wiped them away on my shirtsleeve.

"Just do your best. Everything happens for a reason, you know that? Can't avoid fate forever."

"She'll come around, mate. And if she doesn't, well – her loss, innit?" Black put in, nudging him.

"Thanks," he told us, rubbing his face on his robes. He gave us a watery grin and I hugged him around his waist, glad to see it again.

"Five years of rejection caught up to you, huh Jamesie?" I said playfully, nudging him just as Black had done. He smiled again, but it didn't reach his eyes. Black shot me an angry look and I wondered if I had gone too far. But no.

"Alright, both of you out, I want to clean myself up a bit," James said, ruffling my hair. He tugged at the bottom of his shirt and eyed us meaningfully until we backed out of the door.

Black turned to me.

"Honestly, Payne. Your best friend just got rejected – again – and was crying for the first time ever, and you say 'five years of rejection caught up to you'?"

"It was a _joke_, Black."

"It didn't sound like one to me."

"Yeah, because you were only one dumb enough to take it seriously!"

"Next time you make a joke, try putting some actual humour into it. If you're not going to treat my best mate right, then stay the hell away."

"He's my best mate too!"

"Who you're tragically in love with? Give it up. Can't you fucking _see_? He's in love with Lily, he's never getting over her. I know what you're trying to do, urging him to get over her. You're trying to give yourself a better chance." _I wasn't!_

"I wouldn't - " I protested.

"Don't _lie_. You're so damn selfish. Grow up a bit, will you? And try learning how to be a friend," he snapped, striding away down the staircase. I stood for a minute in shock. Who did he think he was?

_Or maybe you're angry because he made you see something you didn't want to acknowledge_.

I pushed the voice away, scowling. I leaned back against the door, sighing. Was he right?

Anyway, no use thinking about it at present, it would save for – "ACK!" I shrieked as the door I was leaning on suddenly disappeared. I landed in a very surprised James' arms, but soon enough, the little git started laughing at me. I smacked him around the head with a rolled-up newspaper, but it had no effect.

That boy has a thicker skull than a giant, I swear.

"You cannot be trusted to lean on doors," James said solemnly. He set me back on my feet and bit by bit, I regained my breath.

Just in case you didn't catch it, I had lost my breath from _being in his arms_, not from the damn fall.

Heading downstairs with James shooting me exaggerated worried looks (and me scowling in return), we reached the common room and grabbed a couple of armchairs by the fire. Black was in the corner, levitating a teacup. He didn't seem to have noticed us.

"How do you suppose you did?" I asked James. "In Transfiguration?" I had asked quietly, but Black whirled around like I had shouted in his ear. The teacup crashed to the ground. I shot a nonverbal _Reparo_ at it and it reformed – just in time for Black to step on in, crushing it again.

"Oh," he said heavily. "It's you two." He fixed the teacup (again) and turned back to the window, but instead of staying there, dumped his cup on the windowsill and strode out of the common room, glowering at me.

"See?" I said to James. "It's not me."

"You don't have any idea why he was looking at you like you murdered Merlin?"

"Nope. None," I lied through my teeth.

"Weird. I wonder why…" James trailed off. "D'you want me to talk to him?"

"No!" I said, a little too fast. He looked oddly at me. "I mean," I hastily corrected, "it's probably nothing. Don't worry about it."

But when James picked up a Quidditch book, I turned my head to the portrait hole, wondering… what had I really done to make Sirius Black hate me so?


	5. Gryffs vs Snakes

**Hey! So, this will probably be the last update until AFTER June 1st. My finals... have actually already started, so I'm posting this at 12:13 am on a Saturday night. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and I've been really really nice and _not_ left it on a cliffhanger. Mostly because this was pre-written so I kind of was too lazy to change it. Eh, well.**

**Final Disclaimer: I want to point out that this is a FANfiction site. Therefore I am a FAN, and not the owner, therefore this is my final disclaimer for this story. Thank you. *bows***

**Read on, my fellow Potterheads!**

* * *

><p><strong>Gryffs vs. Snakes <strong>

"Bloody hell…"

"Wood, you nut!"

Groaning, we forced our aching bodies up the steps to Gryffindor tower. Adam had had us practicing from three in the afternoon to ten at night. As the team was composed of sixth- and seventh-years, we were cutting it a bit close. Curfew was at ten, but due to our screaming muscles we were moving at snails' pace.

Last practice before the last game of the season – competitive spirit was high. And no surprise, it was Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

"We're only going to get back at ten thirty, the rate we're going," James moaned. "I won't bloody be able to ride a broom tomorrow." Wincing, he lifted his leg and weakly pushed himself up a step. Grimacing, I did the same. On James' other side, Black was hanging onto the railing, using it to drag himself up.

"How," I griped through gritted teeth at Adam, "do you expect us to play tomorrow if we can't bloody move?"

Murmurs of assent from the rest of the team.

"Ow," I gasped as I finally reached the top of the marble staircase. I slumped against the railing and it pressed into my lower abdomen, making me aware of another need…

"James? I need to use the loo. You go on ahead if you want."

"Isn't there one in your dorm?"

"Yeah, but if I get up there, I'll probably just fall into bed."

Too tired to argue, he shot a 'night' my way before heading up to his dormitory. I, however, turned and headed for the bathroom. After finishing my business, I headed for the Fat Lady again – and spotted Black leaning against the wall.

"Not in bed?" I asked quietly.

"There are some Slytherins out and about. Didn't want them to catch you unawares as you exited the bathroom. I know you can hold your own, but it would give them an advantage if they surprised you." I liked that, he wasn't doubting my ability to hold my own in a fight.

"You didn't need to… I know you must be tired."

"Just… being a gentleman, I suppose. Since James was too - " the word was obscured by a monstrous yawn, " – to do it."

"Well," I began, a bit flustered. I didn't know how to react to his kindness. "Thank you. Sirius," I added at the end. His first name felt foreign on my tongue, but not altogether unwelcome. Shock registered on his face before he pulled it together and smirked tiredly.

"Well, colour me surprised," he drawled, holding the portrait open for me. As I climbed through, his arm brushed mine. My hand tingled at the warmth and the feel of the soft black hairs along his arm.

I blushed, and headed for the stairs. "'Night, Sirius," I called softly over my shoulder.

" 'Night, Norah," came the reply before I dragged myself up the stairs and into bed. Maybe things would get better, after all. It seemed that he had gotten over our fight.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"WAKE UP!"

"PISS OFF!"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF BED, YOU TWIT!" Marlene screeched in my ear.

"GET _LOST_, MARLENE!" I shrieked in return. "I WANNA _SLEEP_!"

A rustling noise and then silence. Aaaah, blessed silence. I rolled over and smiled contentedly – just in time to get kicked out of bed. Before I could react, I heard someone yell '_Aguamenti!_' and a spurt of water shot me in the face. Spluttering, I rolled to avoid it, but Marlene, curse her, kept her wand firmly trained on me.

"Screw this, I'm awake!" I yelled, and then choked on a mouthful of water. The flow stopped and I grabbed Marlene's wand, flinging it across the dormitory. Sulkily, I pulled some underclothes out of my drawer and stomped into the bathroom. I could hear Marlene laughing on the other side of the door and I made sure to send a _Levicorpus_ at her before I shut the door.

This was our morning routine, and as much as I hated her for waking me up, I had to give her credit for finding a method which always got me out of bed.

"Pup, I'm going down for breakfast, yeah? You still have fifteen minutes if you want to have something to eat before classes."

"Yeah, see you in the Great Hall," I called back, scowling. I hated the nickname Pup, but as hard as I had tried to get rid of it, everyone said it was more fun to say than 'Norah'. So, I got stuck with it.

In all honesty, it wasn't too terrible a nickname. I mean, I'd seen –and invented – some worse ones. On occasion, James would become Jamesie-poo, Marlene would become Curlycoo and if I was feeling friendly, I'd even call Remus 'Furball' (I had found out his secret in the middle of second year).

It's just – the nickname Pup related to Sirius. I'd gone out of my way to be different – one year even dying purple streaks into my hair and changing my eye colour – but I couldn't shake the nickname. Although my boyfriend at that time, a cheating twerp named Nicholas, did start calling me 'Vi', short for 'Violet'.

I shut off the water and stepped out, drying myself off with a flick of my wand rather than resorting to a towel. Magic made everything faster – I had no idea how my mother survived. I did, however, grab a towel for the sole purpose of wrapping it around myself as I stepped out of the bathroom.

I almost dropped my towel.

"James!" I shrieked, clutching it tighter to my chest. "What the hell are you doing in the girls' dorm? And… how did you get up here, anyway?" I asked, puzzled despite myself. The girls' staircase was designed to keep boys out; it turned into a slide whenever a boy stepped on it, making the intruder slide backwards onto their arse.

"I Levitated myself up," he told me with a shrug.

"But _why_?" I asked, bewildered. "You couldn't wait five minutes until I came downstairs?"

"I just wanted to see what your dorm looked like," he said with a shrug. "I didn't expect you to be half dressed."

I had meant to point out that he could've levitated himself up at any point during our six years at Hogwarts, but the second part of his comment brought my almost-nakedness to my attention and I blushed before grabbing my uniform out of the drawer and hurrying into the bathroom again.

"I've seen it all, Norah!" James reminded me from outside the door.

"Don't remind me!" I shuddered. One summer, James had unexpectedly visited my place to ask if I could come for a party. My parents had sent him up to wait in my room – and as the bathroom was an en suite, I'd walked out with absolutely nothing on. Shrieking, I'd run back into the bathroom to get a towel, but not before James got a good look.

"Done yet?" he called through the door. I brushed my teeth quickly and shrugged into my uniform, carelessly charming my hair up into a messy bun.

"Yeah," I said, opening the door and striding out of the dorm. He followed quietly, used to my violent tendencies in the morning. In the Great Hall, I sat down next to Marlene, snagging a piece of bacon from her plate. James squished himself into the nonexistent gap between me and Frank Longbottom. My eyes narrowed, suspecting a prank of some sort.

"James? Care to explain why you're following me around?" Marlene snatched the piece of bacon back before it reached my mouth and I let out a noise of protest before reluctantly getting my own plate.

He widened his eyes innocently. "No?"

Too grumpy to argue further, I ignored him, focusing on my plate of bacon, eggs and toast.

"Norah!" Sirius called. I almost fell off my seat in surprise, but then I remembered our kind-of truce. "Merlin, you really pack it in, don't you?" Sirius asked, motioning to my overflowing plate "For a girl, I mean," he amended, shrinking away from my glower. My friends stiffened, waiting for the explosion. It never came. I firmly instructed my lips to curve upward.

"I won't be able to eat at lunch, so I'm stuffing myself now," I told him. My civil tone sounded strange and awkward on my tongue, just as his first name had last night. Remus, Peter and James tactfully prevented their jaws from dropping but Marlene had no such inhibitions.

"Why won't you be able to eat at lunch?" Remus asked from opposite me.

I made a face. "Detention with Slughorn. That man hates me," I said with a scowl.

"You _did _lob a Filibuster firework into his cauldron of Veritaserum," James reminded me, apparently done being creepy for the day.

"And you threw an Acromantula heart across the dungeon at that Slytherin – what was his name? Javier North?" Remus added.

"And - " Marlene began, but I cut her off.

"I got the point, Marls. Guess I'm just destined to fail in Slughorn's lessons." I forked up a mouthful of eggs. "Ugh, but I can't help it! The level of favouritism he shows… disgusting! He could at least try and hide it." I didn't try to suppress the disgust in my tone, and a few seats down, I spotted Lily frowning at a little purple invite.

"You think you have it bad?" she asked suddenly. "Try being on the receiving end." She stuffed the note in her bad and stood up. "You'll be late for Charms if you don't hurry," she warned. Noting the time, I stuffed the remainder of my food into my mouth and stood up, yanking my bag up onto my shoulder. Remus stood as well (the rest probably didn't care if they were late). Hearing a small rip from one of the seams, I held the bag up a bit higher and fixed it with a _Reparae Faberca_.

"What do you have in there that weighs so much?" Remus asked as we walked out of the Great Hall. Perceptive, he had noticed the rip.

"I don't know, nothing. Just my usual load. I can't think why it ripped, it's not that heavy…" I mused, puzzled. As if on cue, my bag suddenly became heavier, as if someone had dropped a stone into it. Bewildered, I ripped open my bag. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"What happened?" Remus asked, halting.

"It just… became… heavier…" I grunted as it increased in weight _again_. "What the _hell_!"

"Let me have a look," Remus said, grabbing the bag from me. He staggered under the unexpected weight and almost dropped the bag. "Merlin, that's _heavy_!" His arms dropped slightly as the weight increased and I saw the connection at the same time as he did.

"OH!" we both exclaimed at the same time.

"It's connected to… that word!" I said, unwilling to say the word _heavy_.

"Every time we say it – and we've been saying it in every sentence – its weight increases!"

"But – how?" I asked, bewildered. And then the face of a Potter popped into my mind. "_Potter_," I snarled. As much as I loved the guy – "I am bloody going to _kill_ him! We're late for Charms now!"

Suddenly (and most suspiciously), I heard chuckles emanating from an alcove in the wall. Chuckles, and then the sound of someone being shushed.

_Suspicious_.

I kept talking, speculating with Remus, keeping my ears pricked for further suspicious noises. "What charm could have been used for this?"

"Not sure," he pondered. "Possibly some combination of weight-adding and word-triggered?"

"Must be."

And then I heard it again. "_Shut up, Peter!_"

James.

Time for drastic action. I cried out in fake frustration, brandishing my wand as I did so. It fell into the corner where I was sure the three Marauders were hiding. "Hold on, Remus. I'll just get my wand." The silence was almost tangible as I stepped across the hallway and slowly bent down to pick up my wand. I could imagine James, Sirius and Peter all frozen, not daring to breathe. I tried to draw out my movements as much as possible, but they would get suspicious if I took too long. I turned, heard a sigh of relief and whipped around, shouting, "_Levicorpus Grandae!_"

Three boys suddenly appeared in midair, all upside-down. A silvery cloak fluttered to the floor. I surveyed each of the in turn with a grim expression. James, who apparently was not expecting me to foil their plan, looked especially devastated. I couldn't think why; no one else in Hogwarts had the balls to prank me.

"You'd think he'd know by now not to prank me," I remarked to Remus as I set a tickling charm on James. He rolled around laughing, still upside-down.

"Jamesie, what are you going to do now?" I asked sweetly, upping the level of the spell. He gasped and clutched his stomach, his face going red.

"Reverse – spell – on – bag?" He gasped out, tears of laughter brimming in his eyes.

"Wrong," I told him, lifting the spell. All three flopped to the floor and Sirius and Peter ran off. I let them go. I'd deal with them later. I let the tickling charm go too and helped him to his feet.

"Then – what?" he panted, still winded from laughing.

"You're going to carry my bag." I lifted it from the ground and hooked it on his shoulder. He staggered under the weight. "Heavy," I added. He grunted as more weight was added to the bag.

We set off at a run for Charms, most likely headed for a detention as we were fifteen minutes late. I said the word 'heavy' at periodic intervals and James struggled more and more. We burst into the Charms classroom, Remus and I spouting apologies, James simply flopping to the floor, red-faced.

Flitwick let us off with twenty points deducted from Gryffindor and I helped James into a seat. He looked at me pleadingly as Flitwick resumed teaching and… I caved. I couldn't help it.

"Oh, go on," I told him, rolling my eyes. "Lift the spell. But you're carrying my bag for the rest of the day anyway."

"Done," he readily agreed. He muttered a few quick words, poking at my bag. I turned my attention to Flitwick and his exam results.

As we strolled out of the Charms classroom, we were discussing the Quidditch match in the afternoon. Lily had surprised the team by procuring some muscle pain reliever from Madam Pomfrey and thanks to her, the whole team was good to go.

"With the way we've been playing lately, we should smash Slytherin into the ground. The Quidditch Cup is ours!" James said excitedly. I didn't say anything, feeling superstitious.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Morning classes passed in a blur and soon James, Marlene and I were heading down to the changing rooms. I shrugged into my scarlet robes and lifted my broom. It hummed in my hand, thrumming with energy. It was a new Scarlet Arrow and it was my pride and joy. I stroked the polished handle while I waited for Wood to give the signal.

Wood signalled me and my excitement mounted. With a nod to Sirius, I mounted my broom and sped out onto the pitch. As the Quaffle and Bludgers were released, we set off in opposite directions, bats in hand. Every time Slytherin came close to scoring, one of us would distract their Chaser with a Bludger. I was feeling pretty good about myself… until I broke my arm.

I had next to no warning. All I caught was a green blur speeding towards me on my left side and then I heard a sickening crunch as the Slytherin fifth-year made contact. And then I registered a terrible pain in my left arm and I could vaguely make out the commentator's words: "Oh, and BOTH Gryffindor Beaters inconvenienced, that'll be… yes, two penalties to Gryffindor!" Across the pitch, I caught sight of Sirius; he was bone white and his arm was hanging slack at his side.

I knew how he felt; I could barely think past the pain. I flew dazedly around the pitch a couple of times, only narrowly avoiding a couple of Bludgers. Adam and Marlene took the penalties and both scored, setting Gryffindor at a ninety-point advantage. The score rested at 100 – 10 to Gryffindor.

But the only thing that really spurred me into action was the sight of Eames, our Seeker, glorious in his concentration, as he bent on his broom and went into a fifty-foot dive, neck and neck with Regulus, the Slytherin Seeker.

Two sides of myself warred with each other. Help Eames and hurt Regulus, or let down my team and increase Regulus' advantage?

"Norah! Just hit it!" Sirius yelled from the other side of the pitch. My eyes zeroed in on him and an idea struck me.

I chased after a Bludger and took aim, I could only use one hand so this shot had to be aimed very carefully. Mustering all my strength, I swung the bat hard into the Bludger. It flew away from me, further and further – and sped so close to Regulus' head that he was forced to duck, losing his advantage. Eames swooped forward and grabbed the Snitch, ending the match. Gryffindor had won the House Cup!

Swept along by the tide of celebration, I flew straight into the middle of a team hug. In the mass of red bodies, my arm got jerked painfully and I cried out in agony. Sirius did likewise. We dropped to the ground and were shepherded to the Hospital Wing, where we were healed in the blink of an eye.

But I had not missed the look Regulus had shot me as I had walked off the pitch. _I know why you did it, but I don't like it_, the look had said.

"You'll have to stay for half an hour to let the wound set," Madam Pomfrey told us. We flopped onto adjacent beds, groaning.

"Where the hell Is everyone?" he asked me, frowning.

"James is probably getting Butterbeer, Peter and Remus along with him. Marlene is probably begging the house elves for food." I shrugged, unconcerned. The unprecedented alone time gave me the chance to ask a question that I felt needed to be asked.

"Sirius," I said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Why were you so angry… when you accused me of being selfish?" I asked hesitantly.

"Isn't is bloody obvious, Norah? It's about my best mate. James comes before anyone else."

"Yeah, granted," I said with a roll of my eyes, "but you _know_ I'm in love with him. I only want what's best for him and if he wants Lily, so be it. You knew that, so your anger was totally not justified." I watched his face as he struggled to find a hole in my logic.

"Yeah, but – "

"But?" I asked with a smirk.

"But…"

And just then, our previously AWOL friends made an appearance, armed with Butterbeers, Honeydukes toffee for Sirius, chocolate for me and a platter of food for the both of us. I caught Sirius' eye briefly, but he turned away, spooning some potatoes onto a plate Marlene had given him.

I turned my attention to my own plate and almost inhaled the food in my hunger. When I was done, the plate vanished, allowing me to focus on the chocolate. As I put the first one into my mouth, Marlene started talking about the match.

"You, Sirius and James. One of you will be made Quidditch Captain next year. That was the most amazing Bludger work I have ever seen! Especially the last one –it sucked that you missed hitting him, but it was ace anyway, I swear. The whole game halted just to watch that one move!"

I tried to grin. "Yeah, I did pretty good, didn't I?" Sirius looked at me over his bag of toffee and I saw the significance in his eyes. He knew that I had missed Regulus on purpose.

Of course. Another reason to hate me, yay.

Saved by the bell, he was. Ah well, I'd corner him and force him to answer my question eventually. As our friends crowded around, I allowed myself to be swept up by their celebrations and after half an hour, we headed back to the common room, straight into a party. The huge Silver Quidditch Cup was in a place of honour above the fireplace; flames reflected off it, making it look as fiery as the logs in the fireplace.

As I went to sleep at around four in the morning, I couldn't help feeling like something was off. But it was only a premonition of what was to occur the next day.


	6. Voldy's Not Mouldy

**Hey, you! Yes, you. No, not you, the other guy. OI! YOU! **

**Okay, I'm done. *smiles sheepishly* Well, exams are done and Monday is doomsday, aka "the day I find out exactly how bad my results are". Also, a teeny-tiny update, I'm not entirely sure how soon chapter 7 will be up. Here's the thing: I lost track of my own plot. I gave up on this story for a long time, and reading over my chapters when I picked it back up, I couldn't make sense of chapter 7 and 8. I FINALLY figured it out last night, and when I was done with the whole "EUREKA!" thing, I got down to writing it. However, it is only halfway done, so bear with me.**

**Also, I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed or put my story on alert or their favourites list! **

**xoxo,**

**Awesomeness.**

**Okay, now I feel like Gossip Girl. Ignore that last part.**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Voldy's Not Mouldy<span>**

Biting into a chicken leg with unnecessary violence, I watched as James flirted with Lily, and Regulus, across the Hall, snogged his stupid Slytherin bimbo in full view.

"Ugh," I muttered, dropping the chicken. "I'm out. I think I may vomit." I said the last words louder in an attempt to get James' attention. My ploy failed and I rolled my eyes before shouldering my bag and striding out before anyone could question me. I did, however, spot a pair of grey eyes staring worriedly after me as I left with a sour expression on my face.

As I reached the marble staircase, I turned right instead of left, opting to take the long route and thus avoid people. I circled around the back, taking a moment to admire the elegant carving on the reverse side of the staircase, in the shapes of centaurs and other magical creatures. The sound of cutlery clanking and hundreds of voices chattering slowly faded behind me.

Sighing in relief as I entered the cool, quiet corridors, I slowed my pace down to a leisurely stroll and allowed myself to think. Not about James, not about Regulus. Not even about Sirius. Just… thinking.

I frowned as I recalled the headlines of the Prophet that day. 'FIFTY DEAD, TWENTY-NINE UNACCOUNTED FOR IN WIZARDING LONDON', screamed the front page. This Voldemort wanker really was messing things up, wasn't he? (And his _name_. At first, it had sounded scary. And then, it just sounded funny.)

No, 'messing things up' didn't even cover it. Ministry-sealed letters were now regular at breakfast time, little purple envelopes containing volumes of horror. First years, small, hopeful, _innocent_ first years had received these envelopes, a sure-fire way to cause someone's world to collapse. They opened their envelopes, hoping and praying it was only an injury, to be told so cruelly that one or both parents were dead. I had seen one from a seventh-year, stating that the child would be reimbursed with enough money to cover them until they found lodgings and work. It had struck me, the totally barbaric nature of the world at the time. It was inhuman; no child should ever lose their parents. Period.

I thought about my own mother and her spouse, David. They were currently somewhere in Austria and although I missed them terribly – owls just weren't good enough – I wished they wouldn't come back for a very long time. Best for them to be safe, away from the dangers of the imminent war. David was a wizard too, and both he and I had warned my mother of the danger of staying, but she had staunchly refused.

That is, until I bought two tickets to Austria and pretended it was from an anonymous donor. Sounds unbelievable, but my poor, gullible mother bought it. David wasn't fooled and although he wasn't happy about it, I reminded him that I would be at Hogwarts – safest place in Britain, especially with Dumbledore as Headmaster. Since my mother was an A-list surgeon and my father a fast-track editor for the Prophet, I'd convinced them to take a much-needed break. _"You've been racking up the vacation time. You've probably got about three months apiece. Go, have fun. I'll stay at James' for the summer,_" were my parting words, doled out with a hug and a kiss for each. I was even considering keeping them there for good – or at least until the full-out war was over.

Sighing as I passed the dark Potions corridor, I noticed that my feet were leading me in a rather odd direction. This wasn't the way to the Gryffindor common room, it was the way to the _Slytherin_ common room.

This was slightly alarming, as you can imagine.

I paused in an alcove to figure out where I was going and why.

Where are you going? _Slytherin common room._

Why? _Because I want to meet Regulus_, my treacherous mind shot out immediately. My brain processes screeched to a halt and two little voices started talking in my head.

_You want to see Regulus. You want to meet _Regulus_? Slytherin Prince? It would be safer to ask for Evan Rosier. _

_Mmmh, he's a tasty one._ I could almost picture the second voice licking her lips. _But – wait! Don't distract me. I need to… to see Regulus. Need – talk – _

The voice trailed off as my sensitive ears noticed a quiet pair of footsteps heading in my direction. Who could be walking around here at this time? Everyone was either at dinner or heading for the common rooms. My heart sunk as I realised what this meant. It could only be a Slytherin. It dropped even further as a second pair of footsteps joined the first, and then a third and a fourth. One Slytherin I could take, maybe even two, but three was a bit beyond me – let alone _four_. My heart thudded frantically in my chest like a steam train, even as I willed it to shut up, just _shut up_!

"You going to come out of there, Norah?" came the silky voice from out of the shadows. My heart raced faster as I stared through the dim light in an effort to locate Evan Rosier's delectable, but deadly profile, remembering what I had done to him last time. He was not going to be happy, and I wasn't at an advantage.

Willing my frozen legs to bend and flex, I inhaled deeply, stepping out into the corridor. I could see them now, Rosier and Lestrange slightly shorter than the other two, who by the looming frames, I could make out as Crabbe and Goyle.

"Hey, Evan," I said as shyly as I could manage without throwing up. "Lestrange," I added with a quick glance at him. It was obvious that Rosier was the leader in this group and I needed all my manipulation skills to get out of this one, as I planned to fool Rosier into thinking I had a preference for him.

His dark, liquid-centre eyes observed me suspiciously, and I felt my knees tremble slightly as I looked back into them. "Hi, Norah," he said after a minute. "What brings you to this side of the castle?" He stepped a bit closer and his friends made to follow but he held them back. My feet seemed to be glued to the floor but I gritted my teeth and moved closer.

"I was… looking for someone," I told him, my reluctance coming out as awkwardness.

"Mind telling me who?" came the swift reply, and his eyes glittered slightly, anticipating another notch on his bedpost. I looked over his shoulder at the other Slytherins. Rodolphus Lestrange glared at me, and Crabbe and Goyle just looked stupid. Darting my eyes to Evan's lips and back to his eyes, I inclined my head a bit.

"I might. If you tell your sidekicks to bugger off." His smile was dazzling and it stunned me for a moment. He turned around to face his friends and I grabbed the moment to compose myself.

"I'll meet you back at the common room," I heard him say, a clear dismissal.

"But – " Lestrange began.

"_Now_," Rosier bit out. Grumbling, he led Crabbe and Goyle back the way they had come. Spinning to face me again, I inhaled as his cologne hit my nostrils. He took a step closer and I backed up automatically, until he had me against the cool, stone wall. It was a very compromising position and I didn't know if I would be able to get my wand out in time, but I forced myself to focus as his lips hovered above mine. "Now that you have me alone," he whispered. "Can you answer my question?"

"What question was that?" I asked innocently.

"Who were you looking for, love?" he breathed, his dark eyes just an inch from mine.

Hating myself for the word, I steeled my nerves and let the word fall from my lips. _"You_." And then almost every thought was swept from my mind as he kissed me, his lips crashing powerfully down onto mine, his hands grasping my hips. He kissed like a starving man, taking everything he could get, but giving it back in equal measure. He worked through the buttons of my button-down robes one by one and stepped back to stare appreciatively at the tank top and skirt combo I had worn underneath. He ducked his head to kiss my neck before biting down, licking to assuage the pain. An involuntary moan escaped me and I felt his smile against my lips as he kissed me again.

And that's when his fingers slipped down, under and up my skirt, pressing against the sensitive skin of my inner thigh.

It was time to put my plan in action. Grabbing him by the elbows, I turned us around so that his back was to the wall rather than mine. This freed up my back pocket, which was where my wand was. I kissed him again, noticing that his eyes had gotten even darker with lust, and sneaked one hand to my back to grab my wand. As his hands tightened on my waist, I yanked back and levelled the point of my wand with his neck. Disoriented, he shook his head briefly, not expecting this turn of events. Then his eyes zeroed in on my wand point and he flashed me a smile. "Sneaky. But you didn't honestly think I wouldn't have a plan, did you?"

As if on cue, Lestrange, Crabbe and Goyle stepped out into the corridor from inside broom cupboards and behind pillars.

_Balls_.

I backed away from Rosier, but he followed me, his long legs easily catching up to mine. He held me around the torso, one hand on each side. His thumbs brushed against one of the most private parts of my body and I shivered slightly before glaring at him. He ducked down for another forceful kiss, his teeth biting down on my lower lip and his tongue flicking out to soothe the swollen area. "You're playing with snakes, Norah," he whispered against my lips. "And in case you didn't know… snakes bite." He shoved me away and I hit the opposite wall, slumping for a second before I sprung up, wand in hand. I shot a Stunner at Crabbe and he went down immediately, not expecting the prompt attack. The remaining three Slytherins formed a circle around me, forcing me to only use defensive spells as they launched volley after volley of attacks. I couldn't hold out forever, and unless help came fast… I refused to think of the alternative. _You locked Evan Rosier in a broom closet. Expect something much worse,_ a tiny, malicious voice warned me.

And from nowhere, he arrived, almost as if he had heard my subconscious cry for help. His wand shot out bursts of light as he jumped into the fray. Goyle was out in a matter of seconds and he duelled Lestrange with fierce determination, leaving me with Rosier. I tried not to stare at his lips and the amazing kisses they had delivered, and shot a Body-Bind Curse and a Shield Charm in quick succession. His retaliating Jelly-Legs Jinx rebounded and hit him squarely in the forehead. Legs wobbling and shaking, he tried to Stun me but I jumped out of the way with ease and calmly disarmed him.

"_Expelliarmus_." His wand flew toward me and I caught it effortlessly, storing it in my back pocket. "_Langlock." _After gluing his tongue to the roof of his mouth, I put a Leg-Locker curse on him and left him on the floor under a Disillusionment Charm. Panting, I turned and faced Regulus.

"Thanks," I said to him, avoiding his eyes. It was all too awkward between us after the meeting at the lake. Potions class had become a nightmare. "I owe you one." His fingers caught my chin, gently pulling my face up to look at him.

"Are you all right?" he asked me quietly. I nodded, suddenly breathless for a different reason. "Norah, about the time at the lake –" he began, but I cut him off.

"It doesn't matter. It's not important." I pulled his fingers from my chin, ignoring the spark that danced between our hands as I did so. Tears were welling up in my eyes, for some unknown reason, and I turned before he could see them, forcing them back into my eyes.

"Norah?" he said softly, taking my hand to hold me back. I looked back at him, the unsure look in his eyes as he reached out for me. He held out something purple and fuzzy and I looked at it bemusedly for a minute before realising what it was.

"Thanks. Again," I said gratefully, taking the hairtie which had come off in the struggle. I pulled my long hair back up into a ponytail and he pouted a bit. "What?"

"You look prettier with you hair down," he told me, his hand encircling my head to gently remove the tie. My breath hitched as his hand abruptly landed on the back of my neck and pulled me closer. His forehead rested against mine for a minute and my lips, already throbbing from my encounter with Rosier, ached to be pressed to his.

The chatter of voices interrupted us. I looked behind me and cursed. "Balls. I can't be found here. Gryffindor on Slytherin territory. I – have to go. Now."

"Come this way," he told me, pulling me toward a painting a bit further down the corridor. He yanked it to one side and I climbed in. He clambered in behind me and it clicked shut behind us.

"What the hell? How did I not know about this?" I asked in wonder, casting a nonverbal Silencing charm on the little hollow.

He shrugged. "I don't know. You had to not know about _something,_ I guess. Oh, and this doesn't branch into a passage," he added, feeling me fumbling around. "So we'll have to wait it out."

He grabbed my hands, pinning them to my sides as I continued to search for something, _anything_ that would take me away from the hordes of malicious Slytherins waiting outside. "_Lumos_," he muttered, and a light flicked on. I could see his features clearly and I noticed with a definite tingling feeling that we were very close. I automatically backed up, and came up against a wall almost immediately. This stupid wanker hollow was only built for one person.

"Nervous, Norah?" he asked me smugly. I glowered briefly, considering giving him a good sock in the face, considering there was limited room for wand movement here.

"Piss off," I replied savagely, in an attempt to salvage my pride. But I was blushing, and he knew it.

He shushed me, a reminder that there were people who meant me harm about three feet away. I sighed and leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes.

There was a rustle of cloth on cloth, but I ignored it. Whatever Regulus was doing, I wasn't interested. Even though he'd just saved my life.

I hissed in surprise when I suddenly felt every line of his body pressed flush against mine. He pressed me back into the wall, using his arms as leverage so as not to crush me. Heat rushed to my cheeks and I looked steadily at his forehead, not trusting myself to look into his eyes.

"Norah, we never really talked about –"

"Well, now's not the time to talk about it."

"If we don't now, then we never will," he warned.

"I don't care!" I exclaimed. The sound of footsteps had faded – the Slytherins had obviously passed by.

"Why are you trying to get away from discussing this?" he asked me. I picked up on the note of frustration with ease, but all I knew was that this was not the place or time.

"This is _not_ the place or time to hash this mess out," I snapped, wriggling in an attempt to get loose. He secured my hands more firmly and pressed me even further into the wall.

"You choose, then," he said after a moment of deliberation.

"What?" I was confused.

"You choose the time, the place, the date… but we _are_ going to talk about this."

"You know, normally it'd be the girl wanting to talk and the guy wanting to let it go."

"There's not much that's normal about us, Norah," he reminded me brusquely. "And stop trying to change the subject."

My panic turned to frustration and my escape attempts stilled. "Why are you so intent on discussing this?"

"Why aren't _you_!" he shot back, looking aggravated.

"Because I just don't want to _talk_ about it!" I screamed, surprising both him and myself with the volume. I toned it down as I said the next words. "It was a bad time for me, and I don't want to be reminded of it."

"I understand that, but –"

"And it's not like you care," I interrupted vehemently. "I've seen you with your Slytherin sluts and your wanker buddies, you've obviously moved on –" his face was close, very close, almost too close…

His lips came down on mine, not fiercely as Rosier's had but gently, softly, as if he was scared to break me. What was odd was my response. I kissed back fervently, my mind filled with stolen moments with Regulus from fourth year in classrooms, bathrooms, hidden passageways, on the Astronomy Tower… his grip on my hands loosened as we both got caught up in the kiss and my hands slid up his chest to twine into his hair. He growled slightly in pleasure and he cupped my face with his hands, pulling me closer still. In the back of my mind, it struck me that this was the second Slytherin I'd kissed today…

_The second Slytherin I'd kissed today…_

"Merlin's pants!" I shrieked, breaking the kiss and jumping sideways. I stumbled out of the alcove and turned my back to him while I regained my breath. Five minutes passed in silence, but I knew he was there.

I turned, and my eyes confirmed it, he was there, watching me with an unreadable look in his eyes. I shivered as he boldly stared at me, feeling as if he was reading my every thought.

"I-I have to go," I stuttered, breaking the stare. I turned and walked away, all too conscious of a pair of blue-grey eyes drilling holes in my back.

"Norah!" he called. I kept walking, but he knew I was listening. "Tomorrow, we're talking about this. You decide when and where…" I tensed but stopped moving, although I didn't turn around. "And, oh," he added, "don't stay up too late thinking about me," he called cockily. "You need a clear head for tomorrow."

"Cocky wanker," I muttered under my breath. I didn't think he'd be able to hear, but he laughed. "Do you have bat ears or something?" I snapped, striding away. I didn't hear his reply over the sound of my footsteps, but I figured it was something cocky anyway so I ignored it, turning the corner and vanishing from sight.

****xoxoxoxoxoxoxo****

The next morning, after Marlene and I did our usual wake-up routine, I was heading to the Great Hall for breakfast (alone, because both James and Marlene had ditched me for unknown reasons) when a hand shot out and yanked me into an empty corridor. I sighed, facing Rosier.

"I'm not happy, love," he informed me, his lips hovering too close to mine for comfort. "And again… the offer still stands." I rolled my eyes in indifference.

"I don't give a Hippogriff shit if you're happy or not. And I'd like you to back off and give me some space, thanks," I snapped.

"And let you run off and tell your friends? Please," he scoffed.

"I can fight my own battles! I don't want to tell them, and I'm not going to."

"How very Gryffindor of you," he mocked. I tensed as my anger rode up a few notches.

"Am I interrupting something?" a new voice asked. I stiffened even more as I recognised it. _Regulus._ My positive mood suddenly took a nosedive.

"No," Rosier said, with a last, lingering look at me. "Take care, Payne… or not." He disappeared in the direction of the Great Hall, leaving me and Regulus in a very tense silence.

"So?" he asked me. I took a minute to make up my mind.

"Astronomy Tower, midnight. Will you have a problem getting there so late?"

"No. You?" he asked me.

"No. I'll see you, then," I said, turning on my heel to walk away. But his arm stopped me, winding around my waist.

"Norah –"

"Well, _what_ have we here?" queried a shrill, irritating voice. With _kill me, now_ written all over my face, I turned to face Piper Zabini with a long-suffering look. "Interesting…" she murmured, her eyes taking in me, Regulus, and Regulus' arm, which was currently wrapped around me in a decidedly protective way. "The latest conquest, Regulus?" she asked in a decidedly sugary tone.

"Interesting as it may be, Piper," I began, just as sweetly, "I have a question I'm just _dying_ to ask." He eyes narrowed suspiciously, and she waited. "You see, my friend and I play a game where we wonder what a certain person does at night time. So we were wondering last night, what do _you_ do? Or rather…" I paused for effect. "_Who_?" Her face reddened in anger and she stepped closer, leaning to whisper in my ear.

"Don't think you're innocent, Payne," she hissed. "I know what you did with Evan," she whispered in my ear. Her husky voice, so full of menace, sent shivers down my spine.

"Yeah?" I breathed back. "Jealous, are you?"

"Oh, please," she said with a little laugh. "I could have Evan any time I wanted. Regulus, however, will be a little more difficult to entice."

"Stay away from Regulus," I got out through gritted teeth. She pulled back to survey me and her painted lips curved up in a sweet smile.

"No," she mused thoughtfully, her eyes focusing on the boy behind me. "I don't think I will." She leaned closer again and my hair stood on end as her breath brushed my ear. "You had better watch your back, Payne," she warned me, and I felt Regulus' arm tighten around me as I tensed up. He wouldn't have been able to hear the conversation, she was speaking very softly into my ear.

She straightened up and shot a flirtatious look at Regulus. I glowered at her before stepping out of the circle of his arm and striding past her, making sure to slam her with my bag en route.

"Norah!" he called, and I stopped, waiting at the entrance of the corridor for him. "Did Evan do something… more?" he asked, a spark of anger glinting in his eye. "Just now, I mean?"

"No, he didn't. He just reminded me that 'the offer still stands'." I shuddered in disgust. "I don't know why he bothers, there must be _some_ girl he hasn't done yet… sex-starved wanker. I bet that's the only reason he was after me, because he needed some head."

"Oh, please," Regulus laughed. "Sex-starved he may be, but he doesn't just invite anyone into his bed. Looks are a requirement. You're bloody gorgeous, Norah," he told me affectionately. "Everyone knows it. They're just scared to act on it… because of who your best friend is."

"What does James have to do with anything?" I spluttered in disbelief. Before he could answer, though, I noticed our proximity to the Great Hall. "Get in front of me. It will look odd if we enter together." He didn't look happy, but acquiesced, striding ahead while I hung back. I made sure to wait while he entered before doing so myself. I headed for James and Marlene and sat down between them in my customary spot, grabbing a piece of toast and a jar of honey.

"Where were you?" James asked as I opened my mouth to take a bite.

"Erm – nowhere. Got held up," I muttered, dropping the toast. My stomach churned uncomfortably at the memory of what had happened. I did not want James _ever_ finding out about that.

"Can you believe this is our last day as sixth-years?" Marlene asked excitedly. I looked up in surprise, checking the calendar in my bag. Wow. It really was the last day of school. Tomorrow we'd be going home… well, I'd be going to James'.

"Exam results!" McGonagall suddenly called, passing them down the table. I picked up mine, heart thumping as I searched for Transfi-

"The _fuck_?" I exclaimed. Heads turned inquisitively.

"Language, Miss Payne!" McGonagall shouted from the end of the table.

"What?" James and Marlene asked together, leaning to see my parchment.

"I got an E in Transfiguration," I said dazedly, thanking Merlin for my good fortune.

"You sure you only messed with his teeth?" Sirius asked me. I poked my tongue out at him, showing him my grades. We exchanged sheets. He'd gotten an E in Transfiguration and an O in Potions.

"Nice," I told him, handing his sheet back. He grinned, pushing away from the table. I caught Regulus' eye from across the hall and he mouthed, "Transfiguration?"

"Exceeds!" I mouthed back, and saw his smile, something that didn't come out often enough. It was a smile I'd only seen him use a few times, generally when in relation to me. I stood and shouldered my bag, watching him mirror my actions. We only had Double Potions and then we were free for the rest of the day as a treat. The Marauders, Marlene and I had decided to head into Hogsmeade via secret passageway in this time.

As I passed through the doors of the Great Hall, my friends right behind me, Regulus' hand brushed mine, just long enough to slip a piece of paper into my hand. I clutched it tightly, and only opened it when we got to the Potions class. Eagerly unfolding it under the desk, I scanned the words with butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

_Congratulations! I'm so happy for you, love. _

_See you tonight._

_-R_

Heart pounding just from his simple words, I turned and stared across the dungeon at him. He was already watching me and I saw the tenderness in his eyes as he smiled. I wanted to grab his hand and squeeze it, but we were doing individual work today, rather than partner work.

"What's that, Norah?" Marlene asked, peering at the note. I crumpled it quickly and dropped it into the flames I had kindled beneath my cauldron.

"Nothing. It's not important," I said hastily. But as my steel-coloured eyes met his grey-blue across the room, another thought flitted across my mind.

_It's the start of something good._


	7. Rae

**So, it's been a week. And this chapter is a teensy bit shorter than most, and I don't really like it much. But I had to get it out because it shows some important Lily-Norah bonding and some drama on the Frank-Marlene side! And I'm really, really sorry if this is confusing or choppy. Really. If there's something off about it, let me know and I'll fix it up, mkay? **

**Read on, Potterheads!**

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><p><strong><span>Rae<span>**

The Potions dungeon door opened with a creak. James and I whooped, throwing our papers in the air and dashed out of the classroom, racing each other to the Entrance Hall.

Panting, I dropped my bag with a grin, slumping back against the wall. "Let's drop our bags upstairs and then set out, yeah?" I asked as the others arrived. Remus and Peter nodded, Sirius grunted and Marlene linked her arm with mine. James fell back to walk alongside Sirius and we all headed up the marble staircase, chatting about what we planned to do in Hogsmeade.

"Zonko's," James declared. "I'm running low on Dungbombs."

"We'll have to put a glamour on them, mate," Sirius advised, although his tone was off. "Scrimby and his apprentice will throw a fit if they find us carting in Dungbombs."

"His apprentice… that Filch guy? With the cat?" Marlene asked interestedly.

"Yeah. His nephew or something. And that cat is the most _annoying_ bloody thing on earth. He sends it to look for troublemakers," Sirius replied with a sneer.

"Really? How do you know?" Remus wanted to know.

"Oh, it found me while I was sneaking out the second-floor girl's bathroom. Filch arrived two minutes later and carted me off to McGonagall."

"I meant, how do you know he's Scrimby's nephew?" Remus asked with a long-suffering sigh, his palm smacking his forehead with a _thwap_.

"But while we're on the topic, Padfoot," James interrupted, "what exactly were you doing in the second-floor girls' bathroom?"

"Me, Liana Ashton and fifteen minutes. That's all I'm saying," Sirius returned with a leer. I grimaced and rolled my eyes. Could the wanker be any more crass?

"Yeah, I didn't want to know that," Lily said, voicing my thoughts.

"And what happened to Liana?" Alice asked concernedly. I was silent. I had an inkling that if I asked a question, Sirius would either ignore me or give me a negative response. Normally, this would be typical. But so soon after our sort-of truce, the others would definitely pick up on the vibes.

"She was smart enough to let me go out first. She sent me a note in Defence saying she got off without punishment."

"Are you guys together?" Marlene asked, an edge of _something_ in her voice that I couldn't identify.

Sirius laughed. "Please." No other response was needed. It would be an amazing girl who finally brought the Gryffindor Sex God to heel.

Flicking my eyes sideways, I noticed a suspiciously relieved look on Marlene's face. I raised my eyebrows in amusement and she caught the movement, her cheeks flushing red in embarrassment at being caught out. The corner of my lip tweaked in a cheeky smile.

Marlene shot me a glare to melt one of Hagrid's rock cakes and grabbed my arm, holding it with a vicelike grip. I winced, protesting as she dragged me faster up the marble staircase before I could cause more trouble.

Once in the dormitory, I bumped her hip with mine playfully. "So. Does Miss McKinnon have a little _thing_ for Sirius Black?"

Marlene gave me a disparaging look and crossed the room to dump her bag on the bed. "So? Who doesn't? I bet even _you_ do." I opened my mouth in protest, but she cut me off. "All right, maybe you don't have a _thing _for him but at the very least, you must think he's attractive."

"Yeah, I suppose so," I muttered. _But why bother with Sirius when you can have someone almost identical and nicer in every respect? _

"So you admit that he's gorgeous?"

"I'll admit he's easy on his eyes," I said grudgingly, thinking about the way his hair fell into his eyes. I envisioned a pair of blue-gray eyes instead and a small smile quirked the corners of my lips. "But _gorgeous_ is a bit extreme."

"Well, who would _you_ say is the most gorgeous guy in Hogwarts, then?" Marlene asked me yanking the door open and holding it for me. Leaving my bag on the bed, I pasted a thoughtful expression on my face and pulled the door shut behind me.

"Well… I don't know. Maybe Vincent Clyde from Hufflepuff? Or… Sean Zeal from Ravenclaw?"

Marlene considered my decision with a pensive look. "Maybe you're right," she conceded as we entered the common room.

"Right about what?" James asked us curiously.

"Nothing," I said quickly. I eyed the clock on the wall and motioned to the portrait hole. "Shall we?"

"Yeah," James agreed. "Oi! Sirius! Remus! Peter! Evans! Let's get moving!"

I sighed, shaking my head sadly. James, James. "You know, Jamesie," I whispered, motioning for him to come closer. "If you want her to go out with you, try calling her Lily instead of Evans."

Oh," James said, realisation dawning. "Right."

"Honestly," I scoffed. "You wanker, it took you six years to figure that out?"

"He's always been a tad slow," Remus quipped. James glowered.

"Not the best wand in the shop, if you get my drift…" added Sirius.

"Well, if we're done making wisecracks about my mental facilities…"

"We're not," I interrupted. James ruffled my hair with a little more force than necessary as I passed through the portrait hole. I grinned at him through my ruffled fringe and swept my hair back, accidentally whipping poor Peter across the face.

* * *

><p>The castle corridors were packed with students en route to Hogsmeade – third year and above, obviously. Rumour had it that the governors had thought to cancel Hogsmeade weekends altogether but that Dumbledore had appealed. Thank Merlin for that.<p>

"Thank Merlin for what?" Marlene asked suddenly. I looked at her sideways before realising that I'd probably said the last part aloud.

"That we still have Hogsmeade weekends. Or rather, that Dumbledore stopped the governors from cancelling them," I clarified.

"Bes' Headmaster Hogwarts ever had," a familiar voice said from the side. My eyes flicked sideways, meeting a wide expanse of hairy brown coat, before veering upwards to find a familiar, beard-covered face.

"Hagrid!" I cried happily, throwing myself into a hug. "Where on earth have you been?"

"Bin righ' here!" Hagrid said, messing my hair in much the same manner as James. "It's you that haven' come ter meet me!"

I offered him an ingratiating smile. He chuckled and cuffed the back of my head lightly, sending me to my knees. He yanked me up by the scruff of my neck and prodded me forward, my friends greeting Hagrid as he did so.

Since first year, I'd always spent a lot of time with Hagrid. I hadn't been close to Marlene (let alone Lily or any of the others) and James was often with Sirius. One day, bored and frustrated, I'd wandered into a giant pumpkin patch and walked into a wall of someone. A someone who turned out to be the giant who'd herded us onto the boats the first day of school. After digging me out of the pumpkin I'd fallen into, we'd shared some tea and soon became fast friends.

I used to go down to meet Hagrid every single day during first year. James always wanted to know where I went, but I thrilled in keeping the secret from him, knowing how many secrets he and Sirius kept. At the beginning of second year, however, the wanker got his Invisibility Cloak and followed me to Hagrid's hut.

"_This_ is where you've been going all this time?" he had demanded, forgetting in the heat of his indignation to keep himself hidden.

"You _followed _me?" I had shrieked.

"I was curious!" he defended himself. "You could've hung out with me," he added, a slight pout to his twelve-year-old lips.

"_You _ were with Sirius," I reminded him frostily.

"I don't understand why you two don't get along," he complained, getting sidetracked. This was, of course, before all the hurtful, hateful stuff, but he and I fought regularly over little things back then, too.

"He's just so… _infuriating!_" I had cried.

A strange glint came into James' eyes. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you _like_ him," he said slyly. I had whipped out my wand and drawn menacing circles in the air with it.

"Lucky you know better, then. Isn't that right?" He had backed away warily, eyeing my mostly harmless wand tip (I hadn't learned the Bat Bogey Hex yet).

"Yeah, yeah, I know better!" he had exclaimed, gingerly pushing the tip of my wand so it pointed at the ground.

I had pocketed it. "Good. Then I'll introduce you to Hagrid."

The evening had passed in the company of Hagrid, his boarhound puppy Fang and mugs of tea with rock cakes. And they really were _rock_ cakes.

* * *

><p>Hogsmeade was as picturesque as ever on the balmy summer afternoon. Shop windows announced summer sales, flowers bloomed in window boxes and the wizarding village was packed with people. The six of wandered around for a while, exclaiming at some item or another every so often. After about half an hour of this, James got bored and insisted we go to Zonko's. Not that I objected; I'd take any help I could get when it came to pranking James. I hated to say it, but it was <em>really<em> tough to outprank the prankster.

Zonko's was loud, colourful and absolutely stuffed with Hogwarts students. My claustrophobia started to kick in and after five minutes, Marlene got sick of feeling like a sardine and the two of us agreed with the Marauders to meet at The Three Broomsticks in half an hour.

This left us with thirty minutes to kill, so we settled down by a pond near the Shrieking Shack. We both knew Remus had to come here and suffer once every month. The poor guy suffered alone, away from people, and came away with scars the next day. I had noticed that James and the others sneaked off around the full moon too, but I had never questioned him about it.

Well, I had. But he'd closed off and been _very_ evasive. I'd decided it wasn't worth a second effort. He'd been nice about not forcing information from me, and I decided I could afford him the same luxury.

We met back with the boys after a half hour of idle chitchat and general messing around. The day was too warm for a Butterbeer, so I settled for a Quesker, an iced, lemony drink with bits of strawberry floating in it. Marlene looked longingly at the Firewhiskey, but McGonagall, Hagrid and Flitwick wandered in and she opted for a Quesker as well. We returned to our booth to wait for our drinks, lazily watching the boys banter and take sips of their drinks. Nothing could beat the utter contentment of a warm Hogsmeade trip the day before summer vacation.

As Madame Rosmerta served our drinks and Sirius flirted with her, the door opened with a rush of warm air. I peered over Marlene's shoulder to see Lily Evans enter with her friends – Alice Prinkle, Hestia Jones and Em Vance. They were all three of them absolutely stunning. Lily with her fiery locks and startling eyes, Hestia with her pretty dark curls and sweet, full lips, Emmeline with her long curtain of brown hair and shining dark eyes and Alice with her sweet, heart-shaped face and petite, curvy figure. I felt nasty for thinking it, but I _knew_ that she and Frank Longbottom would make a much better couple than him and Marlene. I knew she loved Frank, but I also knew that Alice had loved him since second year. Dealing with my own unrequited love, I understood what it felt like and couldn't help a small part of me hoping that even if I didn't get a chance with the boy I loved, Alice would.

James hailed the girls with enthusiasm, waving them over to our table so exuberantly that he knocked Peter's drink into Sirius' lap. Apologising profusely, he cleaned up the spill and ordered another for Peter. I did my best to loosen up with Lily, not wanting James to see my hostility. We eventually fell into a discussion about Potions, our shared love. It was an oddly Slytherin subject to like, but I liked it because it reminded me of cooking (something I wasn't able to do at Hogwarts) and she liked it because she had a natural talent for it. A prodigy, Slughorn called her.

Now, I loved Potions. But I was awful at it. It usually works out that whatever an individual is good at, that's the subject they like, but it wasn't so with me. I liked Potions but the only thing I seemed talented at was blowing things (things = my potion) up. I noticed Marlene and Sirius whispering to each other and I saw some flirtatious glances during our conversation, but didn't think much of it. At least, not until they both stood and excuses themselves. My jaw dropped. I knew Marlene had a thing for Sirius, but I'd assumed it was just lustful attraction, not an actual _thing_. I felt sick to my stomach as I thought of Frank. Now I knew for sure that she didn't deserve him. Call me a bad friend, but I didn't hold with cheaters or liars. Marlene was a great friend, and I loved her, but I couldn't let her cheating continue.

We'd have that conversation later, though, I decided, and sat back in my seat just as James proposed a trip to Honeydukes.

"I need some Sugar Quills, is anyone interested?"

"No," I replied. "I'm good."

He looked around, his gaze lingering hopefully on Evans, who shook her head no as well. Peter, Remus and the other girls stood up, and bidding us goodbye, they departed.

"Just you and me, Evans," I said with a lazy grin. I was too content to even feel uncomfortable around her, this girl who had held the attention of the boy I loved for the last five years.

"Just you and me, Rae," she replied easily. I frowned in bewilderment.

"Rae?"

"A new nickname," she explained. "I know you don't like Pup, and, well, _I _don't like Red, because that's kind of - "

"_Your_ nickname, I know," I supplied for her. She nodded.

"So I thought of 'Rae'. It's a play on the 'rah' of your name."

A smile crept onto my face as I considered it. Finally, a nickname that I actually liked!

"I think it's perfect," I said with a grin. "But I highly doubt that the Marauders will be able to shake the habit of calling me Pup."

She studied me for a moment, her green eyes knowing, as if she knew of my dislike for her (well, she _did _know) and what she had done to warrant it.

"I know you're in love with James," she said abruptly. I started in shock, accidentally spilling my drink down my robes. She cleaned it with a flick of her wand, looking me squarely in the eye.

I sighed. "Yeah. Your point being…?"

She softened slightly. "If I could make him love you instead of me, Norah, believe me, I would. But love doesn't work that way. Sometimes, we have to work with what we've got. And I know you have something," she said meaningfully, inclining her head in the direction of the Slytherin table. "I just want you to know that I'd never try to steal James from you, unless you gave me your express permission."

I shook my head, utterly bewildered. "Firstly, I'm not ever going to ask how you know about Regulus." She opened her mouth to answer, but I waved my hand, cutting her off. "Secondly, Lily, James has never been mine. He's always been yours. You don't need my permission to go out with him." The words tore at my heart, but I kept speaking them, knowing they were true.

"Thanks, Rae," she said softly.

"Just to clarify, by the way," I added, "does this mean you've finally got a thing for James?"

"I guess so," she said uncertainly. "I mean, if he asked me out again, I'd likely say yes."

I smiled wryly. "In that case, you have my blessings, Red."

She reached across the table and took my hand. "And you have mine. I hope things work out with Regulus," she said softly.

"I hope so too," I whispered, watching him interact with his friends. He looked over at that moment and his eyes met mine, fiery blue steel against molten silver. I inhaled sharply and dropped my gaze, knowing full well a smirk had crossed his lips. Lily laughed at me, releasing her grip on my hand.

"Friends?" she asked me, holding out her glass.

I didn't even hesitate. "Friends," I repeated, clinking my glass against hers.

And that was how I made my peace with Lily Evans. My other friends were bewildered when we walked into the Great Hall laughing together, but we just smiled, a secret smile of hearts broken and friendship made.


	8. Home At Last

**IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! READ! READ! ALERT! **

**I'm going to New Zealand for three weeks or so on the 25th, which means no updates (which actually works fairly well for me since I haven't actually written the next chapter yet). **

**Until then... the long-awaited chapter, the meeting between Regulus and Norah! I really really REALLY _REALLY_ hope it's up-to-standard. **

**Also, here's an incentive to review: those who review get a sneak-peek at the next chapter! So go on then, read, and REVIEW! See you in three weeks!**

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><p><strong><span>Home At Last<span>**

The night air was cold and I shivered in the brisk wind, pulling my heavy cloak tighter around myself. I strolled to the edge of the parapet and stared up at the stars, trying to find Orion. Astronomy had never been my strong point.

I heard a soft footfall behind me, and I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"I can't believe sixth year is over," I murmured wistfully. "In two months, we'll be riding the Hogwarts Express to school for the last time."

He came to stand beside me, draping an extra cloak over my shoulders. I sighed at the extra warmth, turning to look at him. "I brought an extra cloak for you," he answered my unspoken question. I gave him a smile and a nod of thanks and returned to staring out over the Hogwarts grounds. He waited while I watched the sky, but I could sense his growing impatience. Just as he opened his mouth, I broke the silence.

"What exactly happened one and a half years ago?" I asked him quietly. He sighed.

"You tell me, Norah," he said gently. I looked down at my toes, considering.

"It was a misunderstanding," I finally said.

"On whose part?"

"Sirius'. After all, if it weren't for him…" I left my sentence unfinished, knowing he'd get my meaning.

"What did he say?" Regulus asked, somewhat harshly. "What did he say that… broke you so much?"

"I don't remember," I lied.

"Norah." He said my name slowly, gently, but with authority. It almost compelled me to answer.

"I don't want to think about it," I muttered, avoiding his eyes.

"You'll have to think about it some time –" Regulus began.

"_No_," I said with finality. "I've done a damn good job of blocking it from my mind the past one and a half years. I'm not about to dredge it up again. Some things..." I took a deep breath, "…should stay in the past."

He accepted it, but didn't look happy. The silence drew out for a very long time and I passed the time by trying to locate Regulus in the night sky. To my utmost surprise, I managed to find it – and found Sirius in quick succession too. I nudged Regulus.

"Regulus is the brightest star in the constellation Leo," I told him. "Sure you're in the right house, love?" I asked him cheekily.

He mock-scowled at me. "Dead sure." I cringed at the word – some things, even things buried years ago – never become less painful.

He looked up at the sky too, his sharp Seeker's eyes easily pinpointing Sirius, the dog star. He whispered in my ear, so quietly that I strained my ears to hear it.

"Regulus may be the brightest star in Leo," he said softly. "But you know which star is the brightest in the sky?"

Sympathy welled up in me as I saw his face. He'd always been overshadowed by Sirius, even after the idiot had run away from home. I didn't know what to say in reply, so I hugged him close to me, sharing my warmth.

"How're the parents?" he mumbled into my hair.

"You don't want to do that, haven't washed it in five days," I warned before answering the question. "They're happily vacationing in Austria. I'd keep them there for good – or at least until the end of the war – if I could."

"And how is –"

"Don't ask," I snarled, fighting back the inescapable tears of anger and hurt that always popped up when I thought of that lying bastard.

"I – sorry," he muttered ashamedly.

I sighed. "Don't worry about it."

There was a silence before he spoke again. "I miss him." The tears welled up in my eyes and this time, I didn't try to stop them.

"So do I." We both knew we were talking about a different person to the last one. The rumours and whispers had run their course, but the pain hadn't. James didn't speak to me about it, and I was glad. I still had no idea how to react. It was easy to give sad smiles to people's pitying I'm-sorry-for-your-loss's. But it was another thing altogether when it was your best friend, who could see straight through the fake smiles.

"Norah," Regulus said quietly. "What are we doing?"

"We're talking. We're enjoying each other's company. We're trying for the life of us to figure out what the next step is," I answered honestly. I hoped he couldn't hear the tiny edge of desperation in my voice. _He can't leave me. Not him. So many others have. Not him_. I cleared my throat, trying to erase the last few thoughts from my mind. "At least, I am," I said, continuing my previous sentence. "What do you want to do, Reg?" I asked him. I turned in his arms as I posed the question, tilting my head to see his face.

Staring into his fathomless grey eyes, I wondered what was going through his mind. In my case – nothing was going through my mind. Nothing existed in the moment except for Regulus and I.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was leaning up on my tiptoes, pressing my lips to his. I tried to pour all my doubts and confusion but also my love and tenderness for him into the kiss, and I think he felt it, because when he pulled back, there was something new in his eyes. Something that made me tug him closer and capture his lips again, tangling my fingers in his soft, ebony hair. Forget James, Lily, Sirius. Forget the blonde bimbo. They could all wait, because it was the last night of sixth year and all that mattered was Regulus.

He broke away for air briefly before his fingers pressed into my soft waist as he pulled me nearer still, nibbling on my bottom lip. I pulled back to press a kiss to the hollow of his throat. He growled softly in the back of his throat – and just like that, an awful prickling sensation started up on the back of my neck.

I yanked away from Regulus, my eyes sweeping the wide expanse of the Astronomy Tower. Dimly, I heard Regulus moan at the loss of lip contact, kiss me softly on the side of my neck, but I couldn't think past the pounding of my heart.

_Someone was watching us._

Regulus' arms wrapped around me from behind and I leaned into his chest automatically, my eyes still scanning every corner restlessly. I knew by the sudden tensing of his muscles that he had sensed the presence of another person too.

"Disillusionment Charm?" I whispered to him. He nodded.

"I think so." His eyes, piercing and sharp, searched the area for interlopers. I tugged on his arm; the tension was getting to me. "Let's get out of here."

One arm wrapped firmly around my waist and the other holding a wand aloft, we went as quickly as possible to the staircase. I climbed down, unable to shake the feeling of being watched. Turning to face Regulus, I saw that his eyes were already on me. I drew him in for a soft kiss before pulling back with a sigh.

"I'll miss you over the summer," I said softly. He hugged me, burying his face in my hair. When he spoke, his voice came out muffled.

"I don't know how long I'll be able to take it," he mumbled. "Knowing you'll be in the same house as Potter and my brother for the next two months."

"Hey," I said gently. "You don't need to worry about James. Nothing will happen between us. And honestly…" I took a second before continuing, making sure my feelings were correct, "… I don't really want anything to happen between us anyway."

"And Sirius?" he asked, his tone becoming slightly sadder.

I snorted. "Please, I'm more likely to shag the Giant Squid." I took his face in my hands, kissing his lips softly. "See you in seventh year," I said, walking slowly down the hallway. He waved, a small smile on his face.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"You look like you were up all night," Marlene observed. From down the table, Sirius glowered at me. In retrospect, I should have been used to it since we spent the majority of two years exchanging such looks, but I still found it a bit weird. After our truce, at least. I shrugged it off, helping myself to some pancakes – a special last-day-of-school treat.

Realising I still hadn't answered Marlene's question, I hurriedly thought of an excuse. "I couldn't sleep last night. Final night as a sixth-year and all," I lied smoothly, popping a pecan in my mouth.

"You guys all packed?" James questioned. I met his eyes across the table as I said yes, and waited for the familiar flash of warmth deep in my stomach. It was there, but fainter than before, and I felt a spasm of shock as I realised that. What had changed?

And the answer was so obvious, I felt like slapping myself. After all that had happened last night, with my attraction to Regulus resurfacing, it seemed that I was finally getting over James. I stared down at my plate, trying to work through my convoluted thoughts. Previously, I had thought that I really did love James, and that my attraction to Regulus was… just that, attraction. A physical reaction to his good looks. But now, I wasn't so sure. Could it have been the other way around?

I felt an inquisitive poke in my side and I jumped half a mile, turning to glare at the poker.

"Why is Sirius glaring at you like you kicked his cat?" Marlene asked me under her breath. I snuck a look in his direction. He was stabbing at a poached egg with undue violence.

"PMS?" I suggested. She gave me a disparaging look. "Pissy Man Syndrome," I explained. Her look became even more disdainful, before it abruptly lightened into a giggle.

"It could be NEW syndrome," she sniggered.

"Erm – what?"

"N-E-W. Not Enough Wanking," she got out, before collapsing into peals of laughter. It was infectious and I found myself joining in, despite the crass nature of the joke. James and Remus were giving me weird looks but I ignored them, clutching onto Marlene for support.

"Care to share the joke?" Remus asked, an amused smile playing at the corners of his lips. I noticed Isabella Gardiner shooting the shy, handsome Marauder a hopeful look and could almost see a romance on the horizon.

Marlene and I looked at each other.

"I hope that was a rhetorical question – " I began in answer to his question.

" – because you're not getting an answer!" Marlene shrieked. We started laughing again, so relieved to be free of exams and stress. Crunching into a piece of toast to keep my laughter at bay, I finally got the giggles out of my system.

Sirius rose abruptly from the table, muttering something about packing. I watched him askance, wondering why there was a stick up his arse – moreover, what part I had played in putting it there.

I returned to my breakfast thoughtfully. I felt a nagging itch in the back of my mind, like I was missing something very obvious. After ten minutes of pondering and eating sliced peach, I dropped it. Marlene waited until I'd scooped up the very last slice of peach before standing and dragging me back to Gryffindor Tower.

Shoving a few jackets into my trunk and locking it, I turned with a scowl to Marlene, hands on hips. "We could've done this last-minute packing later," I hinted. She shuffled her feet slightly.

"We should get going, then. Meet with McGonagall and everything," I stated with growing impatience. I reached out a hand for the doorknob when she stopped me, knocking my hand away.

"We're going to be late," I hinted with even greater significance. She didn't meet my eyes and opened her mouth a few times as if she couldn't decide what to say.

"_What_?" I snapped, finally losing patience. "Spit it out, Marley."

"What's going on between you and Regulus Black?" she blurted, looking relieved to have the words out.

"I – what?" I stammered, not expecting the question.

"You and Regulus Black. I know there's something going on between the two of you."

I gripped the back of the nearest chair to steady myself. _No – she couldn't – not possible._ Because it would be absolutely unthinkable, the ultimate betrayal if any of them ever found out that I had forged a relationship with a Slytherin. "_What do you know_?" I asked, more desperately and harshly than I had intended to.

"Whoa. Norah," Marlene said, holding up her hands in a show of peace. "I heard Sirius muttering as he left the table. '_Payne. Regulus. Traitor. Just getting along'_, or something of the sort."

I sank to my knees on my bed and thoughts about what I should tell Marlene. I knew without a doubt that I could trust her with the secret. But could I tell her everything and trust in her not to judge me for it?

Because I knew that if I were in her position, I'd hate her for it. At least for a while. I had never been able to stay annoyed with Marlene for more than two days.

"I – " I began, but the words stuck in my throat. "I can't tell you much."

"Tell me what you can," she urged. I took a breath, the dorm room swimming in front of my eyes.

"I dated Regulus Black in fourth year," I said quietly. I heard her sharp intake of breath but continued, knowing that I couldn't stop now. "Circumstances broke us apart, but we've had… moments… these last few weeks. We – we met before breakfast yesterday and I- I suppose that's what Sirius saw," I stuttered, knowing full well what Sirius had actually seen. The thought made all the blood drain from my face and I put my head on my knees, breathing evenly in and out as I had been taught to do when getting motion sick. I should have connected the dots as soon as I noticed his hostility.

"But – you don't feel the same way?" Marlene asked hesitantly.

"He's a part of my past, Marls," I answered honestly past my heaving, sickening breaths. "I can't just drop it. I don't feel as strongly as he does – but I do. And I know we can't be together but…"

I didn't need to finish my sentence. She knew what I meant. _I know we can't be together, but I wonder how we'd turn out if we could._

"But – you'd tell me? If anything happened?" she pressed. Tears welled up in my eyes and a sob escaped. I heard her gasp slightly and hurry to my side, slipping a comforting arm around my waist.

"I'm sorry, Pup, I'm sorry," she soothed, smoothing a hand down my open hair. I sobbed onto her shoulder until my tears were exhausted and got myself under control, taking shaky breath after shaky breath until I could breathe without sobs wracking my frame.

"It's fine, Marlene. I trust you not to tell." I didn't refer to her request and I was glad that she didn't mention it, because I honestly had no idea how to deal with it. Would she be disgusted? Horrified? If she knew what had already gone on between Regulus and I?

She wiped her thumbs under my eyes, drying the remaining tears and hugged me, pulling me into her warmth. Her familiar scent comforted me and I pressed the tears furiously back into my eyes, hating myself for what I was doing.

"Let's go, then," she said as perkily as she could manage, drying a couple of tears of her own.

I Levitated my trunk, kicking open the door and sending the suitcase to the Hogsmeade platform, where I knew someone would pick it up and put it on the train. Marlene and I then headed to McGonagall's office where we signed a register saying that we were planning on leaving in the evening. It also acted as an agreement to not use magic in the holidays.

"Lunch… and then we're going home!" Marlene exclaimed. "Well, you're going to James'," she amended. "But still! Two more months before I can see you again – you have to come visit."

"Why don't you visit? James' house is about six times the size of mine. It would probably be no trouble if you stayed a couple of nights," I pointed out. "I could ask Mrs Potter."

"Do that," she said, picking at a piece of shepherd's pie.

James seated himself opposite me, his already concerned expression showing that he'd already noticed the telltale signs of my recent crying jag. Thankfully, he didn't bring it up immediately, choosing instead to fix me with a watchful look all through the meal.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Um… problem, James?" I questioned, giving him a sideways look. He had fixed me with the evil eye all day, and now, sitting in the carriage, my creep radar went into overdrive.

His eyes, those hazel eyes that I'd used to fantasise about, narrowed slightly.

"What happened?" he asked brusquely.

I attempted an affectionate smile, like the patronising kind of thing I'd give to my little bro –

_No. Don't go down that memory lane._

"Oh, James. You know us, we think about not seeing each other for two months and we start crying."

"So… nothing happened," he clarified.

"Yeah, that about sums it up," I quipped with a roll of my eyes. He cuffed me gently on the back of my head, messing up my hair. Growling in annoyance, I flicked my wand to fix it. Grinning wickedly, he then proceeded to mess it up again. Sighing, I patted it down with my hands, only to have James rumple it _again_.

Let's just pretend that I didn't plan to do what I did, but that it just happened.

The truth is, I deliberately kicked James out of the carriage, and completely out of annoyance. The Thestrals trotted on, leaving him lying in a muddy puddle with a confused look on his face.

"Pup!" he shouted, enraged. "Don't just sit there and laugh, help me!"

Giggling helplessly, I stuck my head out of the door, watching the black figure in the snow grow steadily smaller. "Are you a wizard or not?" I shrieked back, not sure if he'd be able to hear from such a distance. From the carriage behind ours, I caught a glimpse of Regulus looking at me askance. I grinned at him and he smiled at my obvious happiness. He probably hadn't seen it in a while.

James struggled to his feet, cleaning himself off with his wand. He started to trek towards our carriage, obviously not remembering that he could just Apparate in.

A bellow of laughter drew my attention to another occupant of my carriage. I whipped around in surprise at Sirius' familiar, bark-like laughter, surprised to hear it on one of his PMS days. What was even weirder was that I, Norah, Loathsome #1 had put it there. Really, I was used to Sirius' hateful looks in relation to me but _not_ to laughter.

The boy in question was hanging half out of the carriage, laughing at his best mate's slowly approaching figure.

I took pity on the poor kid. Supposedly (as James had told me) men have a very big capacity for forgiveness, but I wasn't risking it. "James," I called, "You know you can just _Appa - _"

A hand clamped over my mouth and yanked my back onto the seat. I raised a none-too-friendly brow at Sirius, who correctly understood my warning and removed his hand from my face before I bit it. "Yes?" I questioned, remembering to moderate my tone. Sirius… well, _he_ thought he had a reason to be angry, even if it was a misunderstanding. I wasn't about to clear it up, though. Just the thought of broaching the topic or Regulus with him made my insides shrivel up. Everyone in Gryffindor House knew of the poisonous hate he had for his brother.

"Let him figure it out by himself," Sirius said with an abrupt return to his brusque tone, remembering that he was supposed to be annoyed with me.

"I'm going to blame it on you," I warned him. He shrugged.

"Do so, then."

The ride continued in a somewhat uncomfortable silence, Marlene, Remus and Peter having picked up on the tension between Sirius and I. I found myself shooting Sirius surreptitious glances every now and then, taking in the familiar face and picking out differences between his face and Regulus'.

Sirius was a bit taller, obviously, being born ten months earlier. As opposed to Regulus, he had no issues with a light dusting of stubble on his face, walking about the castle with it despite Marlene's insistence that it looked terrible.

Then the eyes, obviously. Enough said.

Sirius' jaw was stronger, and his arms more toned from his position as a Beater. I knew for a fact that Regulus had finely toned muscles too, but as a Seeker, he didn't need to be as strong, so he didn't have such a sculpted body.

I had to admit, looking at Sirius' Adonis-like build, that despite all the pureblood inbreeding, Sirius' line hadn't suffered at all in the looks department.

Suddenly, James Apparated into the carriage, looking disgruntled. The _snap_ of his Apparition jolted my thoughts away from Sirius and into the abyss of guilt that I had become so accustomed to. What was I doing, lying to my mates about Regulus? What was I doing, thinking about how handsome Sirius is when Regulus should have been the only boy on my mind?

I shook my head violently to clear the confused thoughts from my mind. We pulled into Hogsmeade station with a creaking of wheels and a snorting of invisible horses – the only noises in the carriage, James having noticed the thick, oily tension in the air. He didn't comment, though, used to our fights after suffering through six years of them.

Our trunks were waiting on the platform along with a hundred or so others. The boys lifted their trunks and Marlene and I Levitated ours, rolling our eyes at the blatant display of muscle power that had clearly been displayed for the benefit of Lily Evans and her posse. Shrugging our way past them, we followed the boys down the train until we located an empty compartment. Filing in, we stuffed our trunks in the luggage racks and flopped down on the seats, watching in silence as Hogwarts grew further and further away.

The train ride was spent playing Exploding Snap and – for me – making the most of my wand before I had to stop using it in London. The others were all of age already and I'd only be turning seventeen in August. As the train pulled into the station, I sullenly pocketed my wand, a pout upon my lips.

"Awh, don't look like that, Pup," James said consolingly. "The Ministry only picks up on magic, not on who does it. I'm sure – since my house is a wizarding household – that they won't pick up on it if you do a couple of spells."

"I suppose so," I said gloomily. Sirius rose from his seat, taking my trunk down from the luggage rack so as to access his. "Thanks," I told him. He responded with a curt nod, already halfway out the door.

James followed quickly, and I ran after them as best as I could. They were Apparating me back to Potter Manor, so I really needed to keep track of them.

"James," I panted, finally catching his arm.

"Ready?" he asked me, pushing his glasses up on his nose. I nodded, bracing myself for the claustrophobic sensation of Apparition.

With a pop and a crushing feeling, I waved goodbye to my friends and we disappeared from the station, reappearing almost instantly at Potter Manor. I took in the sweeping lawn, the stately, elegant white mansion and sighed in contentment. So what if I had to survive two months with Sirius; I could never be anything but at peace when at Potter Manor.

I was home.


	9. And The Night Crashed Down Around Me

**So first off, I'd like to say: HIIII! I miss you guys!**

**Next, I'd like to say sorry to two sets of people.  
>Firstly, everyone: I'm SO sorry. I know I said I wouldn't update for another THREE weeks but I couldn't write in New Zealand and then I wasn't in the mood when I got back and then it was SCHOOL. But I stayed up especially to finish this chapter for you guys...and I really hope you like it.<strong>

**An additional "sorry" to those of you who reviewed and didn't get a sneak peek - I'm really sorry. I sort of lost track of who I had and hadn't replied to. But here, this makes up for it - the sneak peek AND MORE! I sort of rushed to get it done, but there's quite a bit of drama - enough to keep you happy until chapter 10 is up, hopefully!**

**Hope you like it. Hope you love it. Hope you REVIEW!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9: And The Night Crashed Down Around Me<strong>

The crunching of footsteps across gravel made me aware of another presence nearby and I turned in my chair, easily finding the familiar form of Mrs Potter among the rose bushes. I waved to her, leaning back in my chair to soak up the summer sunshine.

"Hello, dear," James' mum said lovingly as she slid into a chair next to me. She yanked off her gardening gloves and tossed them to the ground, sighing with relief.

Dorea Potter had always been like a second mother to me. She was somewhere in her mid-fifties (young for one of magical blood) but was still radiant – more in the power she wielded than her looks. Mrs Potter, with her dark, shining hair and cool green eyes, was by no means ugly, but no one could deny that she was the only woman to scare James Potter.

Besides me, of course.

"Hi, Mrs Potter," I replied easily, reaching out a hand for her to hold. The feel of her palm pressed to mine was reassuring. It alleviated some of the hollow ache that came from missing my own mother. Dorea's hands were soft, but rough from the manual gardening work she did, reminding me of my Muggle mother's hands, roughened from the dishwashing and housecleaning.

"Norah, darling, are you alright?" she asked me quietly. I turned my head to look at her, assessing her face.

"I'm fine, Mrs Potter," I replied evenly, furrowing my brow. I'd had years of practice saying that to people, so I had the expression down perfectly, but the woman was psychic or something, because she sent me a _look_. I sighed.

"I miss…people. I know I have you and James but I feel so lonely." It took a minute to spit it out, but eventually I coughed up something I was loath to admit. "It worries me. This depression. I'm scared."

Dorea's kind smile at that moment could have made a Death Eater start crying. I burst into tears for reason unknown and she enfolded me in her arms, shushing me with gentle strokes of my hair.

"Is it your mum?" she said when I'd calmed down some. "Do you want us to send you to Austria for a while?"

"Partly," I admitted. "But there are other people too."

She evaluated my tear-streaked face for a moment before stating, "You can't tell me."

I shook my head apologetically. She rose to her feet, pulling me with her. "I understand," she said slowly. "What can I do to help?"

I smiled wanly. I was feeling somewhat better now that I'd cried it out, but I hadn't slept in forty-eight hours. "I'm not sure there is anything you can do, but thank you, Mrs Potter."

"Why don't you go and have a nap," she suggested. I thought longingly of my fluffy double bed and nodded immediately, grudgingly extracting myself from Dorea's embrace.

"I'll get some soup going," she called to me as I was shutting my bedroom door. Shooting her a grateful smile through the crack in the door, I closed it with a snap and sunk back onto the bed. There was no way I'd be able to fall asleep but I could do with the alone time.

Oddly enough though, as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

* * *

><p>Mrs Potter woke me up with a gentle tap at the door. I'd always been a light sleeper and I awoke feeling refreshed for what felt like the first time in forever. "Soup's ready, darling," she murmured. I stretched like a cat, sprawling out across the bed.<p>

"Coming, Mrs Potter," I drawled through a monster yawn. She chuckled quietly before withdrawing, closing the door with a gentle _snap_.

Yawning yet again, I crawled out of the tangle of sheets and stumbled to the bathroom, splashing water on my face to wake myself up. The droplets hit my face like icicles, sending me spluttering for a towel. As I was wiping my face, a second knock sounded at the door. It was only after I'd shouted out, "I'm coming, Mrs Potter!" that it registered that the second knock had been much firmer than the first. Tossing the towel into the wastebasket, I strode out of the bathroom to investigate.

And stopped dead.

"Sirius," I said as evenly as possible. "Did you need something?"

"I want to talk to you," he growled. I raised a sardonic eyebrow.

"So talk."

"What's going on between you and Regulus?"

"I'm under no obligation to tell you that!" I yelped, taken aback by his bluntness. I sat down heavily on the couch in the room, feeling a blush creeping up my cheeks.

He strode over to where I was sitting, leaning down and bracing his arms on the back of the couch. "Don't force me, Norah," he said threateningly.

I bristled at his nearness. "Tell me, Sirius, do you want to have kids?" I asked innocently.

"Wow – look – I know I'm appealing but we had an argument going…"

"Not with me, you moronic twat. I mean, someday."

"I – well – yeah, I suppose so. Why?"

"Let's see if we can fix that," I said sweetly, and rammed my knee up sharply between his legs and stood, making my way across the room, leaving him pale and gasping on the floor of the room. I thought he wouldn't be able to move for a while.

I thought wrong.

He muttered something, maybe a spell to heal his wounded balls, and was at my side in less than a second, his hands going to my hips. To an outsider, it would have looked like a lover's embrace, but the truth was a different matter. His fingers dug deep into the flesh above my hip bones, hurting enough to leave bruises.

"Ouch, Sirius, it hurts," I bit out. He loosened his grip immediately but retained a firm grip on my wrist.

"What," he breathed, "did I ever do to you to make you do this? I thought we had a truce."

"So did I!" I yelled back. "And yet – two days after that, you fire up at me because you saw me with Regulus! How is this my fault?"

"Okay! Forget that. But why did it take two years for you to forgive me for the last time? And – and how can you even have feelings for my brother? He's a monster!"

"He's a good guy, Sirius!" I shrieked. "How can I forgive you for the things you've said if you can't even accept a basic fact like that?"

"No, you know the reason you can't forgive me? Because you don't want to. I can't begin to fathom why, but you're running away from something, Norah, so don't you dare pin the blame on me." We were very close now, noses almost touching. I had to lean my head back to look at him, and his grey eyes, so very much like my own, bored back into mine.

"I am _not_ running away," I hissed into his face. His eyes flashed fire. "I don't run away from anything."

"You're running away from _me!_" he shouted, in stark contrast to my whispers.

I stared at him, stunned by his stupidity. "You don't even remember, do you?" I accused. "You don't remember anything you said that night - that night when everything fell apart. _He_had just left... and... and Ben had just..." I gulped, unable to choke out the word _died._"And you - you stood there and tore mine and Regulus' relationship apart! _Just __when __I __had __begun __to __think __of __you __as __less __than __a __monster, _you tore up everything I held close to me and threw it in my face!"

"I just - " he began.

"You _what_, Sirius? You seriously expected that by the next day, we'd kiss and make up? Life doesn't work like that. You expected I'd forgive you as soon as you turned puppy-dog eyes on me? _Please_. Have you seriously forgotten that you never even actually _apologised_?

"And as for Regulus and I... what business is it of yours? How _dare_ you come barging in, trying to break us up _again_? What do you care anyway? You've never cared for Regulus and you sure as hell don't give a rat's arse for me!"

"For the love of Merlin, Norah! He's using you, don't you see!" he howled.

"Yeah, how the hell do you know that?" I screamed.

"Because that is how my brother is! He never did anything when my mother kicked me out of the house! Nothing! He could have appealed, mommy's little boy…"

"You hated the place anyway!"

"Irrelevant. It still stands that he did absolutely nothing."

"You ever thought maybe he wanted to stop you, but couldn't? That he wasn't brave enough? That he loved his mother too much to face up to her for a brother who never liked him anyway? Not everyone is so brave, Sirius. You shouldn't just judge someone on whether they had the guts to do something or not."

"That's the only thing you can judge people on!" But seeing my mouth opening, he pressed forward. "Alright, let's say he did want to stop my mother. Even so, how can you justify all the horrible things he does with his Slytherin pals these days?"

"Isn't it obvious? He wants the same kind of attention you get. He's jealous. Even after leaving the house, leaving your inheritance, leaving everything, you were still more successful. Star Beater on the winning Quidditch team, Casanova of Gryffindor house… you have it all."

"There are better ways to get attention than to join murderous, blasphemous monsters," he growled.

"Well, you pushed him away all his life..." I hinted.

"Don't you blame his fucking _Slytherin_ ways on me!"

"_What's __wrong __with __you!" _I shrieked. "Why are you taking this all out on me! If you have issues with what he's doing, go talk to _him_ about it!"

"Maybe I think it'll hurt both you and James if this continues!"

"Maybe you're _jealous_ because your brother is giving someone the attention he never gave you!"

"Maybe you should _shut __up_ before I - "

"Before you - ?" I whispered. "What would you do to me, Sirius?" He didn't answer, "_Tell __me!_" I screamed. "_What __would __you __do! __Why __are __you __doing __this?"_

Sirius… was stunned. That was the only word I could think of to describe his face. His eyes gleamed with an unfamiliar emotion. Was it fear? Confusion? Astonishment? I couldn't place it.

Abruptly, a familiar sting poked at the corners of my eyes. They welled with tears, making my vision blurry.

The sight of my tears seemed to jar Sirius out of the trance he'd been in. He staggered back a step, looking torn between comforting me and yelling some more. Horrified by my own tears – why was I _crying_so much these days? – I brushed past him and yanked the door open, muttering, "Excuse me," before I closed it with a snap.

* * *

><p>I'm sure both Dorea and James could tell something was wrong when I walked into the kitchen. Even if the tear tracks weren't enough, they'd probably heard the shouting too.<p>

"Are you alright?" James asked cautiously.

"Fine," I replied cautiously, testing my capability to get the word out in one piece.

Dorea set a bowl of soup in front of me, brushing a few strands of hair from my face. "Drink up, darling," she said affectionately, taking toast out from the rack. Moodily, I dunked it in the soup, having long since lost my appetite. Since James was watching me with an eagle eye from across the table, I had to finish all of it, as opposed to my original plan of eating some and tossing the rest.

"Done?" he asked me the minute I set my spoon down.

"Done," I confirmed, relieved to find that my voice – and limbs – had stopped shaking from the aftermath of mine and Sirius' fight.

"Then let's go," he commanded. Bewildered but too tired to argue, I rose from my seat and followed him out into the garden. A House Elf Apparated into the kitchen and took my plate away for washing.

"Um – James – what?" I stammered as he yanked me forcibly into the maze of rose bushes.

He sat me down on a bench, standing in front of me with a decidedly mulish look on his face. _Oh, __bloody __hell._ I knew that look.

"_What_ is going on?" he snapped at me.

"Seriously?" I asked tiredly. "Now you're going to blow up at me too?" He raised a dark brow in question. "Oh, right, your _best __friend_ already did. You know what," I continued, my voice getting louder in my hysteria, "let's all take potshots at Norah because we've all got a shitload of issues and nothing better to do! Or better yet, let's all follow in the footsteps of the great _Sirius __Black_and attack her _in __her __own __bedroom! _Let's all accuse her of betraying trust and other nefarious things, just because she's the easiest person to blame! Lovely _Lily,_ the flower of James' heart, is too innocent for that, isn't she? And _perfect _Marlene, who's such a damn nice person that you can forgive her sluttiness? Nope, it's only me who gets the honour – no, the _privilege _of getting verbally attacked by not only a man-slut who doesn't know shit about me but _my __own __best __friend_."

There were several moments of silence before I started to hear odd little hiccoughing noises – and realised that they were coming out of my mouth.

James looked a little shell-shocked by my little rant. "I – I didn't mean it like that," he stuttered. I flopped across the bench, suddenly tired beyond belief.

"No, I'm just – I'm jus tired, that's all. I shouldn't have blown up at you."

He exhaled slowly, picking a rose thorn out of his arm.

"I think you need a rest," he said slowly.

"I've rested," I sighed. "It didn't help a whole lot, as you can see."

"Granted, but I'd rather you didn't rant at everyone at the party in two weeks," he said meaningfully.

"Wait – what?" I gasped. "What party?"

"The party we always have. Our traditional back-to-Hogwarts send-off," he answered with raised eyebrows. He must have really thought I'd lost it.

"You know what?" I mused. His eyebrows rose higher still. "I think I need Marlene and Lily."

"I'll owl them if you'd like," he offered. "What do you need them for, though?"

I shrugged. "Girl time, I suppose. Also, I need some nice dress robes for the party."

"I'll owl them," he replied. Bending down, he pulled me into a tight hug. The feeling of someone taller and stronger hugging me gave me a sense of security that I hadn't had for the past few weeks. I hugged him back with equal fervour, holding on tightly until he laughed and pried my arms away from his torso.

"Later, Pup," he said cheerily, walking away. I watched him go, a little bit of the burden lifted from my heart.

* * *

><p>"Lily - what the - stop it!" I yelped, smacking her hand away.<p>

"Do you _want_to look beautiful tonight or not?" she snarled at me. Marlene was brushing my hair, and at that moment she yanked at an especially tangled bunch of knots.

"I do - _ouch_, Marlene!" I yelped.

"Sorry," she mumbled, disentangling the strands of hair with her fingers. Lily immobilised me with her wand and finished dabbing red lipstick onto my lips.

The three of us were preparing for the annual Potter Party and my two girlfriends had taken it upon themselves to "make me beautiful".

"You alright?" Lily asked when we were all sitting on my bed together.

"Why do you ask?" I said as casually as possible.

"Oh... I don't know. You look..."

"Strained," Marlene supplied.

Lily nodded. "That."

"I'm just... tired." I could tell with one look that they didn't believe me. With a sigh, I submitted. "Sirius and I fought a couple weeks back."

"Again?" they exclaimed simultaneously.

"Again," I confirmed.

"What about?" Lily wanted to know. "If it's not too personal."

Since they both knew at least some of what was going on, I thought I might as well tell them. "Regulus."

Lily gasped. _"He __knows?"_

Marlene and I nodded grimly. "He knows."

"No wonder he was so irritated with you the day before we left Hogwarts!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah. But I've gotten used to it, it's pretty much a permanent state of affairs with Sirius."

"Are you alright?" Marlene asked softly. I smiled weakly.

"I'll be fine."

* * *

><p>If I'd thought that Potter Manor couldn't look any more beautiful, I was wrong.<p>

It was the night of the party and guests were arriving in full force. Dorea and Charlus Potter really had outdone themselves this time.

The Manor itself was draped in golden lights, and the trees around the same. Lanterns hung from posts all around the garden and the garden had sprouted silvery flowers here and there among the other plants. They gleamed in the moonlight, glowing with an ethereal light.

And then the _ballroom_. Ice statues stood at the sides of the room, chandeliers gleamed in the light of the hundreds of candles that lit the room. Popular music – Wizarding and Muggle alike – played on a wireless at one end of the room. It had a _Sonorous_charm cast on it so as to boost the volume across the wide space.

House Elves ducked and dived between dancing, chatting people, offering up drinks and entrees to guests. Dorea had written all of her friends and asked to borrow their House Elves – and the friends had complied, in full force.

My friends were – to put it lightly – stunning. Marlene was fiery and intimidating in her red dress and spiky stilettos. Lily was petite and willowy in a black, knee-length dress which was feathered with streaks of green fabric near the hem. James, Sirius and Remus cut sharp profiles in their dress robes. Peter was – well, Peter. But even he had cleaned up pretty well.

I was wearing a blue dress which fell to the floor in a long, silky length of turquoise material. The neckline dipped dangerously low and the part of the bodice on either side of the V-neck was made of a crumpled material. My make-up was simple – smoky eyeliner and a touch of lipstick. I had refused to let the girls put anything more on me.

To me, the night seemed like one of endless dancing. I danced with almost everyone. I danced with James, Remus, Frank Longbottom, Adam Wood, Pollux Eames, Lily, Marlene… even people I barely knew danced with me, if only for half a song. I even danced with Sirius' uncle Alphard, who'd been invited to the event by special request of Sirius.

It was when I slipped out to one of the balconies for a breath of fresh air that he cornered me.

"Did you know that James confronted me about what happened?" he asked me quietly.

"No, I didn't," I answered honestly. I didn't turn to face him. He was maybe the _only_ person I hadn't danced with yet.

"So I'm a man-slut who doesn't know shit about you, am I?" he said softly. To an outsider, it probably sounded playful. But I heard the dangerous edge to his voice. "I think I know a lot more about you than, say, _James_ does," he hissed. His words hovered in the air like poison, infecting my lungs to the point where I gasped for breath.

_Regulus..._

_Fourth year..._

_No. He wouldn't. He couldn't... could he?_

"Please – no," I whispered, still not turning.

A glass of champagne hovered before my eyes, the stem suspended by a very familiar hand. I took it reluctantly, twirling it between my fingers but unwilling to drink.

I felt him, then. Right there behind me; his body heat, his hard muscles pressed lightly against my back. His lips barely grazed the shell of my ear as he bent to whisper.

"Watch your back, Payne," he hissed, his hot breath making me shiver. "This isn't over."

He backed away and I turned slowly, the glass of champagne quivering in my hands. He was already looking at me, and our eyes met just as the countdown to September 1st began.

"Ten, nine, eight…"

He tossed his champagne down in one shot, his eyes dark and locked on mine. Took two steps to the right.

"Five, four, three…"

And as the second hand hit the number 12, he yanked Marlene's arm, dragging her away from Frank, and kissed her full on the lips, his eyes wide open and still focused on me.

As Frank's shouting and Marlene's crying filled the ballroom full of oblivious guests, the night crashed down around me.


	10. Ken, Blondie, Mr Hot Stuff

**Hey all! So, here's my amazing explanation for why it's taken me so long to update.  
>I moved house. So I didn't have internet for about two weeks. And BEFORE that, I was REALLY writers' blocked.<br>But anyway, I hope hope hope this chapter is satisfying. I really feel bad... like not enough happens in my story. Can you guys tell me if it's okay? Do I need to put more... HAPPENINGS in? **

**Also, I didn't mean to write Jack into this chapter. He was supposed to be some random guy Norah bumps into...but he ended up writing himself in. I'm sorry if this whole thing is too confusing. **

**And I did my research. Both Barbie AND Ken would've existed at that time in the Muggle world. ;)**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Ken, Blondie, Mr Hot Stuff<span>**

I sighed and fetched Marlene yet another tissue. She sat on my bed, shoulders shaking. She'd been like that for the past hour or so, too incoherent to talk to me and tell me about her talk with Frank.

She blew her nose loudly, swiping at her tears angrily before looking me in the eyes for the first time.

"You ready to tell me what happened?" I asked her gently. Sure, I was angry that she'd cheated on Frank. At the end of it all, though, Marley and I had been friends for six years and something like this _wasn't_ going to break us up. About that, I was adamant.

"He broke it off with me," she sniffed.

_Expected._

"What did he say, exactly?"

"He asked me how long it had been going on," she told me. "And when I told him, he gave me this… this _look_, oh sweet Merlin, Rae, you can't imagine how hateful that look was. He didn't call me names or anything… he just walked away. And I feel like I'd almost prefer him to shout at me and insult me, so then maybe… maybe I'd…"

"Maybe you'd have an excuse to be angry with him too," I finished for her. She didn't say anything, which I knew meant that she was wordlessly agreeing.

Silently, I crossed to the dresser and surreptitiously warmed up the contents of the teapot with a prod of my wand. I brought it to her, wondering what I should say next.

"How angry are you?" I ventured after a while.

"With Frank? Not at all. I deserved it," she said quickly, firmly.

It was good that she'd accepted that about herself, but it wasn't what I meant. "No… with Sirius."

Her face hardened immediately, drawing into sharp, cold lines. "Beyond words," she said simply, fingers contracting tightly around the tissue she still held.

I sighed. Sure, I had a personal, ongoing feud with Sirius but that didn't mean I wanted Marlene to hate him too. Our group didn't need any more infighting.

"We're going back to Hogwarts in - well, a few hours, really," I reminded her. "You won't be able to avoid him. It might be in the best interest of everyone if you talked to him. He _was_ kind of drunk, you know."

"Since when are you championing Sirius?" Marlene asked with raised brow.

"I'm not _championing _him," I snapped. "I'm justifying to you why you and he should talk."

"I'm not interested," she flatly replied. I could tell that there was no shaking her. And frankly, I didn't mind, because it meant that I wouldn't be required to mediate.

"Fair enough," I sighed. "Get some sleep, then. Back to Hogwarts tomorrow."

Sniffling, she crossed to her overnight bag and pulled out her pyjamas. "Wait… you're all packed, right?" she inquired suspiciously.

I had already snuggled into the pillow and grudgingly extracted myself to answer her question. "Yes, mother," I grumbled, burrowing under the quilt.

She rolled her eyes, seeming more herself again. "Shove off."

"_You_ are in _my_ room," I reminded her sleepily.

She flicked off the lights and climbed in on the other side of the bed. For a moment there was nothing except breathing.

"Night," she said softly, the end of the word cracking.

"Goodnight, Marley," I breathed.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Excuse me," I said to the blonde head in front of me. The man turned around, giving me a glimpse of startlingly blue eyes.

"Yes?" he asked with a confused smile.

I looked at him askance. "I…erm, I need to pass by," I said awkwardly, motioning behind him to the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10.

"You need to pass by… into a wall?" One of his eyebrows arched. I tried to ignore the fact that he was extraordinarily good-looking.

"Uh…um…yeah," was my articulate response. I rolled my eyes and brushed past him, pushing the heavy trolley ahead of me.

Mentally, I was cursing the guy. Now I'd have to wait until he left, or he'd be watching me like a hawk and he'd see the magical barrier.

I settled down to wait on a bench. I could feel the guy's eyes darting to me every now and then. And where was James, anyway? He had been right behind me when I'd entered the station…

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned grumpily, sure that whoever it was would be an unwelcome person - and got a surprise.

"Lily!" I shrieked, grabbing her up in a bear hug. She choked.

"Can't - breath - Rae!" she gasped, scrabbling at the chokehold I had around her neck. I released her, beaming.

"You only saw me yesterday," she reminded me.

"I know, but it's not the same as seeing you at the station! We're seventh-years now!" I exclaimed.

"Do you know how much work it'll involve? Being seventh-years?"

"Yeah, yeah," I waved her off. ""NEWTs and all. They're at the _end of the year_, Lils, don't stress."

"Speaking of school, why are you not on the platform?" Lily asked, sitting on the bench beside me.

"Because Mr Hot Stuff over there has been watching me with an eagle eye since I asked him if I could pass by." I motioned to Blondie with my chin, keeping my eyes on Lily. "Be discreet when you look," I warned her. "He hasn't taken his eyes off me once."

"I think he fancies you!" Lily teased.

"Right. Sure," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Norah! There you are!" a familiar male voice exclaimed at my elbow. "And Lily too!" This time, his voice was much more delighted.

"Hello, James," we said simultaneously.

It was an unusually civil greeting for Lily, considering it was James and all, and James' grin widened in response.

It was as James' hand dipped into his pocket to retrieve something that I remembered an event of the summer that had shocked us all. _Oh, dear_. I wondered how Lily would take it.

"Rae, I got Head Girl, did I tell you?" Lily was saying excitedly. I grinned at her.

"We all knew you would, Lil," I replied easily. My eyes darted guiltily to James and back even as I said it, and as he drew the badge out from his pocket, I cringed, waiting for the torrent.

"_No_," Lily gasped. "He_ didn't_."

I nodded. "He did."

"Allow me to introduce Hogwarts' new Head Boy," James said, producing his badge with a flourish. "Yours truly!"

"Has Dumbledore gone _senile_?" Lily shrieked. James frowned.

"That's what Norah said too. Did you guys plan this?"

We both laughed. "It's a girl thing," I replied, chuckling at the affronted look on his face.

"I don't understand why everyone's so surprised," he said helplessly.

Lily looked at him askance. "Really? You really don't know?" she asked as she gathered her things. "It's almost eleven," she added to me.

"No," James replied.

Lily shook her head at him. "Never mind, then. We should get going, or we'll miss the train."

"Well, Ken's gone," I said, checking over my shoulder just to be sure.

"Ken?" James asked, looking confused. "Do I know this Ken?"

Lily was busy giggling at my Barbie reference. "No, it's… never mind," she laughed. "Muggle thing."

The new Hogwarts Heads pinned their badges on and we all gathered our stuff together. James generously allowed me to go first, and I sighed in happiness as I arrived in the middle of the familiar bustle of Platform 9 3/4.

I recognized a familiar silhouette in the fog and called out to her. "Marlene? Marley!" I didn't even know how we'd gotten separated, because she'd been right behind me when we got to the station as well.

It turned out to be Hestia. "Oh, hi Hestia!" I exclaimed. It was good to see a familiar face.

"Hi, Rae," she replied smilingly. I started involuntarily; it seemed my new nickname had spread quickly. "Looking for Marlene?"

She looked grim as she said this, and I quickly connected her expression with her words.

"Er… she's with _him_, isn't she," I said. It wasn't a question. Hestia nodded. "They're not - ?" I asked, not wanting to finish the question.

"No, they're just talking," she assured me.

"How did Alice take this whole situation?"

"I… can't really say," she told me unsurely. "Her face was expressionless when I told her what happened. She's always been a little withdrawn about emotions, but maybe Lily will be able to get it out of her."

"She must be a little happy, though, that Frank's available now? I don't fault her for it, I'd do the same if it were me," I hastily assured Hestia.

"She likely is," Hestia admitted with a small grin. Her teeth were very white and even. I envied her. Mine had been all crooked before I'd persuaded Madam Pomfrey to fix them for me.

A rustling at my side announced the arrival of another person.

"Emm!" Hestia exclaimed, jumping on the girl. I smiled at Emmeline Vance, a girl who had always been in Arithmancy with me but who I'd never really communicated with.

"Hi Emmeline," I said, somewhat shyly. The girl had a sort of regality about her that always sobered me up a little bit.

"Hi, Rae," she returned with a wide smile. The use of my nickname startled me once again. "How was your summer?"

"Same old, same old," I replied. "Yours?"

"I went to Italy!" she said excitedly. "It was brilliant, but I _swear_ I put on about ten kilograms from all the pasta and ice cream I ate…" the three of us laughed together, and I felt myself revelling in the whole feeling of being part of a group. It had always been just Marlene and I, so having a group of girls to laugh with was an entirely new experience.

"Rae! _There_ you are," Marlene cried, appearing at my side and slipping an arm around my waist. Emmeline and Hestia's expressions immediately tightened a fraction, becoming a couple of degrees cooler. "It's eleven, let's board the train!" Marlene told me, tugging me away.

I shot an apologetic look over my shoulder at the girls. They waved me off, smiles on their faces. Lily and James came up to join them at that moment and they all began to make their way to the train.

Through joint effort and dint of manly muscle power, James helped us lift our trunks into the train. We set off along the corridor in search of an empty compartment, and when there were none to be found, we turfed a couple of second-years out of one and commandeered it for ourselves.

"We're seventh-years now," James explained to a scandalised Lily.

"But as Head Boy, you should be _preventing_ this kind of stuff!" she squeaked.

"Do you want me to go find them and call them back?" James asked with raised eyebrow. "I'll be late for the Prefect meeting if I do."

Lily knew she had lost. "No, stay here," she sighed.

It was then that the other girls noticed the badge on James' chest. They gawped shamelessly until Lily jabbed them in their stomachs.

"He's _Head Boy_?" they all exclaimed at the same time.

I laughed at their stunned expressions, remembering the moment when our Hogwarts letters had arrived…

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Kids! Hogwarts letters!" Dorea had called, rousing us from our bedrooms. We'd had a late night the night before and I had stumbled out of my room rubbing my eyes. And walked into James, who promptly fell down the stairs, taking me with him. We had crashed into Sirius halfway down, knocking him down and taking the three of us crashing down the remaining steps and landing in a pile at the bottom.

"Mmph," James had groaned, extracting himself from the pile. He got to his feet and helped Sirius and I up, and we trooped into the kitchen for our letters.

I dived into my cup of coffee before opening mine, and found the standard Hogwarts letter, without any special additions. Sirius was the same.

When James had read his letter, however, he yelped with shock.

"What? What?" I had exclaimed, hurrying to his side of the table.

In answer, he had tipped his envelope out into my open palm. Two badge fell out. The first was both easily recognisable and expected: the standard gold QC embossed over a red background. James had been made Quidditch Captain for Gryffindor.

It was the other badge that had made me gasp and drop the badges like they'd burned me.

"_Head Boy_!" I'd shrieked. "Has old Dumbledore gone _senile_?"

Dorea shot me a disapproving glance to cover up her amusement. Then she, too, had hurried to examine the evidence.

"Oh, my dear boy!" she had exclaimed, scooping James up into a monster hug.

"Mum, you're smothering me," James said uncomfortably.

"I don't smother you often enough," Dorea said, releasing him.

Sirius has simply stood there, stunned, a bit of toast in his hand.

At that very moment, Remus and Peter had whooshed out of the fireplace. "Morning, all!" Remus called. He looked wan. I thought back - yes, the full moon had been two nights ago.

"Why's everyone so silent?" Peter wondered aloud.

We all three of us were staring at the badges, and soon enough, Remus came over to investigate.

"Whose is it?" he whispered.

"James'," I murmured, barely moving my lips.

The kitchen had exploded for the second time that day.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"We're off to the meeting!" Lily called as she disappeared through the door. "See you all later!"

Hestia had been a Prefect in fifth and sixth year, but seventh-years weren't allowed to be Prefects. She looked after their retreating figures wistfully.

"Cheer up," I said nudging her. "You should be glad to be rid of Prefect duties, the amount of work we're going to have this year…"

"Any empty seats around here?" a friendly voice enquired from the doorway. I looked up, a wide smile on my face.

"Remus!" I exclaimed, jumping up to give him a hug. He laughed, gently returning the hug before crossing to an empty seat and plopping himself down.

"Where's the rest of the gang?" Emmeline wanted to know.

"Off causing mischief, no doubt," Remus replied. "Although James is in the Prefects' compartment so it's just Sirius and Peter today."

The atmosphere in the compartment became slightly frostier at the mention of Sirius, but tactfully, no one said anything.

A rattle outside our compartment made everyone look up curiously. Hestia and Emmeline glanced at each other uncomfortably after seeing the girl outside.

Dorcas Meadowes was something of an outcast in our year. She was quite pretty in an abstract sort of way. Her dark hair was cut messily and short; it hung about her face in a tangle of black locks. Her skin was eerily pale, her nose exquisitely straight.

Her eyes, though, they always put anyone approaching her off. Dark and forbidding, her gaze kind of scared all of us. Marlene and I never did anything to purposely exclude her, and to my knowledge, none of the others did, either, but somehow, the girl got excluded anyway.

I made a decision. Yanking the compartment door open, I stared down at the shorter girl with a tentative, friendly smile. "Hey, Cas," I said cheerfully. "Why don't you come and sit with us?"

She gawped up at me. She really _was_ very short, wasn't she? I realized I had said this aloud when she and the others all burst out laughing.

"Alright," she allowed. "I'll come and sit with you guys."

"How was your summer?" Hestia asked tentatively.

"You can stop treating me like I'll explode," Dorcas told her bluntly. "It was really my choice to exclude myself. I've never been very good with other people."

The tension in the room lessened considerably.

"Now we've got _that_ out of the way," I said with unnecessary extravagance, drawing a laugh from my friends, "how _was_ your summer? I'm talking to all of you, by the way."

"You already know about mine," Emmeline said with a roll of her eyes. "Remus, how was yours?"

Before he could answer, a knock sounded at the compartment door. I turned to see who it was - and gasped, my eyes almost falling out of my head.

It was Ken, Blondie, Mr Hot Stuff…

Oh dear Merlin.

"Any free seats?" he asked, looking around the compartment. His eyes lit on me and flickered with recognition.

"No!" I exclaimed. The others all looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. "Um, those seats are taken," I said quickly.

"Oh… alright," the guy said. Now that I took a closer look, I didn't know how I'd mistaken him for an adult. He was clearly our age. "My name is Jack, by the way. Jack Notterdale."

"Remus Lupin," Remus introduced himself, and proceeded to introduce the rest of us. "Marlene McKinnon, Hestia Jones, Emmeline Vance, Norah Payne," he said, moving clockwise around the compartment.

"Who's this, then?" a voice asked from behind Jack. I stiffened, and so did Marlene.

Sirius' wild tousle of shaggy hair appeared over Jack's shoulder and I grimaced involuntarily. Jack raised an eyebrow at me. I glared back. I didn't know why, but I was getting bad vibes from the guy.

"Jack Notterdale," Remus put in obligingly.

"Hello, Jack Notterdale," Sirius said nastily, pushing past him into the compartment. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. What did Sirius have against this guy?

It was obvious, as soon as he walked in, that he knew he'd made a bad decision. Me and Marlene in one compartment? The atmosphere cooled a further few degrees. If it got any colder, we'd all turn into blocks of ice.

Sirius turned to leave, but just as he stepped into the corridor, he froze. Actually, we all did. Two _very_ familiar voices could be heard coming closer.

"Fuck," Sirius swore.

"Language," Hestia muttered half-heartedly.

Marlene looked stricken. "It's Frank and Alice," she hissed, as if I hadn't heard them myself. I know what she was asking, though. _What should I do?_

I wracked my brain. Maybe if I hid Sirius, Frank wouldn't come over to pick a fight.

"Sirius!" I hissed. He turned, looking stunned that I had a) used his first name and b) actually addressed him.

"What?"

"Get inside the damn compartment, and shut and lock the door behind you."

"Uh - what about me?" Jack asked in a douchebag tone of voice. I couldn't care less. I didn't have time for him at the moment.

"What _about_ you?" Sirius said blithely.

I grabbed Sirius by the collar, forcing him down and under the seat.

" - the fuck are you doing!" he yelped as I stuffed him down under with the cockroaches.

I bent down to look him squarely in the eye. "Do you _want_ Frank to come in and pick a fight?"

He scowled. He was beat.

While I did a little mental victory dance, I beckoned to Emmeline to switch seats with me. Swiftly, I engaged Marlene in conversation. If he looked in and saw us talking normally, maybe he'd just go away.

The truth was, I was just guessing as to Frank's reaction. I was flailing about wildly at the moment, hoping to find a solution to cover all possible scenarios.

What I didn't expect was what happened next.

The compartment door slid open and all of of tensed. Except Jack, who had no idea what was going on.

Frank looked around at all of us, his eyes lighting on me, Marlene, and Jack especially. "I just want you to know," he said, addressing Marlene, "that I'm not angry anymore."

She stumbled forward, a hopeful look on her face - but she also looked like she didn't dare to believe what was happening.

"That _doesn't _mean," he continued, and she stopped, crestfallen, "that we'll get back together. I can't, Marley, you understand?"

She withdrew, slipping heavily back into her seat. "I understand," she said quietly.

Frank nodded at me and withdrew, shutting the compartment door behind him. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Weeeeeeeeeelll," Lily's voice came out of nowhere and we all jumped. "Now that today's quota of drama has been exhausted, is anyone interested in a game of Exploding Snap?"

We all laughed, shaking ourselves out of our tense little bubbles. The games lasted for most of the seven hour journey and as the sky grew darker, we all extricated our robes from out trunks and pulled them on.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

The train drew into the station with the usual screeching and clouds of steam. Our (considerably expanded) group found our trunks and climbed out, quickly locating a carriage and settling in for the half-hour ride to school.

I met the Thestral's eyes as I climbed into the carriage and faltered, my foot slipping on the step. An image flashed in my mind's eye: the reason I could now see Thestrals. Before I knew what was happening, I was falling, falling…

I waited with closed eyes to hit to ground.

And instead, was met with strong, warm arms encircling my torso.

I turned with a wide smile, ready to thank my savior, but the smile slid off my face when I saw Evan Rosier standing behind me. I closed myself off automatically, trying desperately not to look at his face. But then I had to look at his body and _that_ was no good either. I sighed.

"Thanks," I said sincerely. The mud under my feet didn't look like the nicest thing to land in.

I tensed as Rosier came closer to me. He pressed a whisper of a kiss to my cheek. "You're very welcome," he murmured. I shivered - both from disgust and pleasure.

And then I saw Regulus, and it was like the rest of the world fell away.

The first thing I saw was the huge shiner that shone like a beacon from around his left eye. I gasped, and had to stop myself from running to him. He met my eyes squarely, smiled in real joy for a second.

Then, when I had gotten over my shock, I focused on the rest of him. His eyes, although I couldn't see the colour in the darkness. Tall and strong and - yes, haughty, in the strong lines of his jaw and shoulders.

He was mine.

It shocked me, the whole territorial urge thing. It shook me out my little haze.

I turned back to Rosier. "It's been a pleasure kicking off the new school year by falling into your arms," I said as sweetly as I could manage. "And now I bid you _adieu_. I'll be seeing you."

Without looking back, I climbed into the carriage next to Remus. The Thestral began to trot, making for the beautiful, candlelit castle ahead.

"What _was_ that?" Hestia asked me, agog.

I grimaced. "Evan Rosier and I… have history," I said distastefully.

"That was seriously intense," Dorcas interjected. "What happened between you guys?"

"Er…" I paused, vacillating between telling a white lie or the truth. I decided on the truth. "Um, him and some other Slytherins cornered me in the dungeons and… I kind of had to kiss him so that I could get away." It all came out in a rush and ended up sounding worse than I'd intended it to.

The occupants of the carriage all gawped at me.

"Merlin's beard…" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "It was the only way to get him alone, alright? There was no way I'd be able to take on four Slytherins at the same time. Even accounting for the general lack of brain cells in that house."

That wrung grins out from them, but Remus looked worried. "Norah," he said carefully, looking like he was trying not to offend me. "Did he - did Rosier -?"

"Did he proposition me?" I finished bluntly. "Yes. I pretended I was taking him up on his offer. While he was in his lusty haze, I hexed him."

I didn't tell them the rest of the story. That his buddies had been hidden around the corner and that _Regulus_, of all people, had come to my rescue.

The carriage subsided into a shocked silence. It stayed like that until we reached the castle - at which point Remus laid a hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him. "Be careful, alright? I don't want him hurting you."

"I will," I said quickly, surprised by his concern. "Don't worry."

Our group proceeded into the Great Hall. It was nice, having all the Gryffindor seventh-years in one group. But it came as a surprise to all of us when Jack (who had been conspicuously absent ever since we'd disembarked from the Hogwarts Express) joined the queue of first years in the middle aisle.

When all the first-years were Sorted, McGonagall turned to the rest of the Hall.

"You must be wondering," she began, "why you have not been allowed to eat yet. This is because we have one more student left to Sort. Jack Notterdale, who has transferred from the Salem Institute of Wizardry. Jack," she said, beaconing him forward. "Please take a seat. You will be Sorted into one of four Houses."

Ken (I really _had_ to stop calling him that or I'd end up saying it aloud) - _Jack_ sat on the stool. He looked nervous.

The Hat considered.

It kept considering.

It took an awful long time to consider.

Finally, the rip near the brim opened wide and shouted its choice to the Hall.

"_Slytherin!"_

"_What?_ I liked him!" Remus said indignantly.

I looked at him weirdly. "You barely talked to him."

"Yes, I know, but… oh, never mind. It's silly."

"No, go on," I encouraged. "Tell me."

"Well… I suppose it's a stupid theory, but I thought that after spending time with us, he might… you know, want to spend time with us at school. I guess our Gryffindor ways didn't influence him enough."

I laughed. "Some people are too _Slytherin_, I guess," I teased. "Anyway. I for one am glad he's not in Gryffindor."

"Why?" Emmeline wanted to know.

I shrugged. "Bad vibes. I don't know. I just don't like the guy."

With a heavy feeling of trepidation, I watched Jack cross to the Slytherin table.

Then he sat down.

Right in the middle of the most notorious knot of Slytherins - Bellatrix Black, Rodolphus Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, Evan Rosier, Campbell Blackthorne, Herbert Crabbe, Brastern Goyle and Severus Snape.

I had the feeling this kid was _very_ bad news for us.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Please review!<strong>


	11. Some Rethinking Needed

**EDITED!**

**Yepp, I wrote the scene between Reg and Norah in between writing various essays in Indonesian. And I typed it out here, and I added some other stuff in some parts too. I'm pretty happy with it, and I hope you are too - Norah goes through quite a few mood changes in this chapter! **

**The plot thickens. ;) **

**And I've started writing chapter 12, so hopefully sometime next to next week, it'll be up. I'm going for this camp..thing.. on Friday night and I'll be back Sunday, so I won't be able to post between now and then. **

**Anyway, enjoy! R&R!**

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><p><strong><span>Some Rethinking Needed<span>**

It had been two weeks since the start of term and I was already drained. It was exhausting, to be honest - sneaking off to meet Regulus, spending time with my friends, dealing with the constant hostility from Sirius - all on top of the hectic NEWT schedule.

And so it happened that I ended up in the kitchens, late at night, looking like hell and feeling worse. I wanted food. I wanted Firewhiskey if they had it (they didn't, so I settled for cider.) But above all, I wanted some alone time.

My friends had other ideas.

I lost track of time and it was past eleven at night (curfew for seventh-years), so James Potter, being a dutiful Head Boy (cough, hack, cough) whipped out his Marauders' Map and traversed the dark corridors to locate me.

I groaned when the boy in question walked in. He was my best mate and I loved him, but in recent days, he'd been the annoying horsefly to my stinky pile of shit. According to Marlene, to whom I'd complained, this was because I was looking "wan".

There was no getting rid of him. I knew. I had tried.

So instead of making a break for it when the portrait swung open, I sat silently and continued picking at my plate of apple crumble.

"Rae."

I rolled my eyes. Such drama.

"James," I replied mockingly, mimicking his tone."It's past curfew," he said meaningfully.

"Astute observation. I appreciate your sharing it with me. What's your point?"

He sighed. "Let me rephrase. Bedtime for Pup."

I scowled. If he thought _that_ would convince me to head back to Gryffindor Tower, he was sorely mistaken. Grovelling, maybe. Chocolate, probably. But calling me Pup? No.

"Nice try, love," I said sweetly. I pinched his cheek and turned back to my crumble.

James abruptly switched tactics. "Everyone's worried about you, you know."

I gave a faux mournful look before belching loudly.

It was the best I could do in the circumstances, alright?

While he thought out the next stage in Operation Get-Norah-To-Bed-Thereby-Being-A-Good-Head Boy-And-Impressing-Lily, I slurped down the remaining cider in my goblet. It left me feeling a tad lightheaded, so I glanced at the open Marauders' Map while I waited for my head to clear. What I saw was more than enough to shock me out of my haze. I could not afford a confrontation right now.

"Bollocks," I hissed, leaping to my feet. "Wanker alert."

Scanning the room for alternate exits, I ground my teeth to stubs as I realised my predicament.

"Damn House Elves!" I howled. "Couldn't they have put in a back door?" _Shit, shit, shit_.

"Oy you!" I rudely called to an evil-looking House Elf. "Anywhere to hide in this place?"

"Ar," said the elf wisely. I waited.

When nothing more was forthcoming, I snapped, "Well, hide me, then!"

The evil little critter took me by the hand and stuffed me into a pantry. I opened my mouth, ready to spout an incredulous protest, but he shut the door on me, leaving me alone in the dark with food products.

Even this was way too close for comfort to the scene I was sure was about to take place. Regulus and Sirius, coming to the kitchen from opposite directions? Disaster waiting to happen. I had deliberately only alerted James to Sirius' approaching presence, but I'd been all too aware of his brother making for the same destination.

After about two minutes, it started to get rather boring in the pantry, so I amused myself by trying to read the labels on the jars around me.

_**Heliotrope Sunflower Oil. **_**(The grease without the guilt!)**

_**Jester and Pyke's Best Fruit Jam. **_**(It's magical!)**

_**WANDMASTER Sardines. **_**(A whole other kettle of fish!)**

When I heard voices, though, I snapped to attention and stood stock still in order to eavesdrop.

"What would Master Sirius like?" a House Elf squeaked.

"Some alcohol and a table far away from this bastard," I heard Sirius growl. I smiled as I imagined Regulus rolling his eyes.

"And you, Master Regulus?"

"Er," I heard him say. "I don't know. Show me the pantry, I'll find something for myself."

"Oh no!" A House Elf yelped. "Master Regulus mustn't fetch food for himself! 'TIs a disgrace to House Elves!"

"I wasn't intending to procure food for myself," Regulus said haughtily. "I simply want to see what was available. Now, _if_ you'll just show me the pantry…" I rolled my eyes at his hauteur and almost scoffed before I realised what was happening. To my horror, two pairs of feet were making their way towards my hiding place.

Not that I didn't want to see my boyfriend. Just not when stuck in a pantry, hiding from my nemesis.

The door creaked open and I inhaled sharply, waiting for the exclamation of surprise.

Instead, Regulus simply raised his eyebrows at me, asking a silent question.

I pressed a finger to my lips. Shh.

He nodded, reaching past me to grab a tin of sundried tomatoes. He backed out of the pantry, requesting a small pizza with sundried tomatoes on.

"Hang on," I heard him saying, "I want some olives too."

He pulled the door open again, moving right into the pantry so that he was pressed flush against me. "Want to explain why you're hiding in the pantry?" he breathed in my ear.

"Later. Owlery at midnight," I whispered back.

He nodded his agreement, brushing a whisper of a kiss across my lips before finding his olives and leaving.

Thankfully, he and Sirius managed to keep their differences out of the kitchen and I soon heard James and Sirius leave.

"All clear," Regulus called.

I stepped out from the pantry, stretching my cramped neck. Sitting down next to him, I shook my hair back and leaned my head on his shoulder. Smiling down at me, he fed me a bite of his pizza.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hi," I replied equally quietly. With an unspoken signal, we rose at the same time and left the kitchens.

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><p>The Owlery, as per usual, was full of the noise of wings flapping, beaks clicking and (disgustingly enough) the soft <em>splat<em> of owl droppings plopping to the floor.

It was, however, free of people, which was exactly what Regulus and I needed. We moved to the large bay window, the parapet barely reaching my knees. A cool breeze fluttered at our faces every now and then, and as I looked down at the grass, a hundred feet below, I felt a familiar lurch in my stomach. It was a good lurch, something I felt when I was playing Quidditch. It was a feeling that set my blood pounding and sent adrenaline coursing through my veins.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly, brushing hair from my face, his warm breath on the nape of my neck making me shiver. His soft side was something that only came out around me. On one hand, I felt special and privileged to be the only person to see it - and on the other, I wished he were like this all the time, so that other people could see that Slytherins weren't all bad. I turned in his arms, curling up against his chest.

"Exhausted," I murmured wearily. I could probably fall asleep right here with very little effort.

"Ah," he said with a smile. "Secretly seeing a Slytherin taking its toll?" he asked playfully. If I didn't know him so well, I would have missed the slight edge in his voice.

"Yeah, it's tough dating someone whose brother has a head bigger than his arse," I joked back weakly. He let out a small chuckle, his arms tightening around me before something occurred to him.

"Wait, have you been staring at Sirius' arse?" he gasped, wide-eyed.

"What?" I protested. "Who said I was staring?"

"Well, I assumed..." Regulus trailed off, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"It doesn't take Dumbledore to figure out that a person's head is generally smaller than his arse," I informed him, turning back around to face the grounds. He chuckled again and we stood in comfortable silence for a moment before I remembered something I had been meaning to tell him.

"Your brother knows, by the way," I said softly.

He tensed and his abdomen muscles tightened against my back. "Know about?" he clarified. I nodded. He knew exactly what I was talking about. "Wait, so that time on the..."

"Yeah. He was the one watching us on the Astronomy Tower that night."

His expression was unfathomable for a moment as he looked over my head. What was he thinking? I imagined myself in his situation. I knew how he felt about Sirius, of course. Initially, he had conformed to Slytherin ways and been nasty to Sirius just to fit in. After Sirius ran away, though, he'd felt guilty for not stopping his mother and made attempts to be nicer. But Sirius, fixed in the idea that Regulus didn't give two pence for him, was so brutal and harsh when dealing with Regulus that guilt turned to hatred. If I were in Regulus' situation, I knew I'd still feel some little bit of affection for my older brother, regardless of what had happened in the past. I'd want to talk to Sirius about it, talk it over until it was sorted out. Before I could ask Regulus what he was thinking, though, he spoke, and his voice held nothing but concern for me.

"What does this mean for you and your friends?" he asked me worriedly.

"He hasn't told them... yet. Marlene knows something, but James knows nothing. Lily knows everything, so I'm not worried about that. But James... he'll be crushed if he finds out." For a second, hurt flashed in his eyes, and I hastened to soften the statement.

"It's him that's got a problem with Slytherins. I promise you, nothing anyone says can change what I think about you." He smiled and nodded to acknowledge my statement, but his eyes were far away.

He was silent for some time, lost in thought. Then, "What does this mean for us?" he asked me quietly, his voice oddly thick. When I glanced up at him, he was staring out over the grounds with a pensive expression - and, I noticed with a pang, suspiciously shiny eyes. Something broke inside me, a barrier I hadn't known I had. In that second, I put all my faith in Regulus and his goodness - and whether that was a good idea I didn't know. All I knew at that second was that I loved him.

"Hey," I whispered, cupping his cheek in my palm. "I promise you... if it came right down to it..." I paused for a moment, taking a breath to make sure I was making the right decision. The next five words would seriously affect my life if Sirius blabbed. "If it came right down to it," I repeated, "... I'd choose you over them."

At that moment, as if to provide the most dramatic finish to my statement, there was a crack of thunder and rain fell in torrents, crashing against the stone with a thunderous roar. My words hung in the air and we both stared at them (metaphorically) for a long moment. He inhaled deeply, as if trying to absorb the words before they floated out of his reach, and before I had time to let out more than a small yelp, he spun me around lightning-quick, his left hand pressing me closer to him and his right hand stroking my cheek.

"I love you," he told me. Simple words, a simple sentence, but the emotion with which he said it took my breath away. I pulled him by the collar of his robes, overcome with a desperate need to kiss him.

But just as his lips neared mine, footsteps clattered over the wooden floor and the Owlery door swung open with a slam. One second I was all passionately entwined with my boyfriend and the next, we were up against opposite walls with wands to our throats.

I sniffed. I recognised that sickly sweet, slightly musky scent.

"Zabini," I greeted distastefully. She smirked at me, flipping long, dark hair off her shoulders. She smelled like perfume and sex, I realised. _Ew_.

"Didn't I warn you to stay away from Regulus?" she breathed, prodding the underside of my jaw with her wand.

"Um," I said, thinking back. "Actually, no. I said that. You... you warned me that you were going to try to seduce him, if I remember right."

She frowned. My fabulous memory had thrown a wrench in her intimidation tactics. Her wand dug harder into my throat with her increased agitation and I gagged involuntarily.

"Well," she finally said, "I'm warning you _now_. Back off. A half-blood whore like you doesn't deserve the likes of Regulus. You stay away from him."

Anger pulsed in my veins with startling abruptness. I shoved her away from me, my rage exploding in a burst of wandless magic that knocked her and Regulus' captor out cold. I watched in shock as the flash of light burnt itself out. Shaking my hair back, I crossed the room, making sure to step on Zabini as I did so. Regulus caught me as I reached him.

"You... wandless magic..." he stammered. I was flummoxed.

"What?" I asked warily.

"That," he replied, "was _so_ fucking hot."

I finally grinned, my lips pulling into a curve for what felt like the first time in weeks.

"What did she say to you?"

"Uh... she called me a half-blood whore," I said, frowning as I remembered. His grip on my wrists tightened.

"Are you alright?" he asked urgently, looking me in the eyes.

"I'm fine," I assured him with a smile. Cool fingers tilted my chin up and my grin widened as he ducked to kiss me. At the last second, I turned so his lips caught my cheek rather than my lips. He growled at me as I danced away.

"Tease," he accused. I simply winked at him, blowing him a kiss as I pulled the heavy Owery door open. An odd, floaty feeling bubbled up in me and I waggled my fingers flirtatiously in a manner reminiscent of Piper Zabini.

I was two steps out the door when he caught up to me, pulling me around and pressing a hard kiss to my lips.

"Bye, love," he breathed against my lips. His eyes, darkened with an emotion I couldn't identify, gazed down at me. With one last kiss, he turned and walked away, not looking back.

I watched him till he was out of sight.

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><p>I arrived back at Gryffindor Tower well past midnight, feeling almost delirious with happiness. The Fat Lady waggled suggestive brows at me before letting me past and I danced into the common room, walking on air.<p>

"Rae," a voice said quietly from beside the fire.

I jumped about six feet. Clutching my chest, I fell to my knees next to my favourite armchair. I heard footsteps crossing the few feet between when I knelt and the fire, a sigh, and then strong arms lifted me up into the chair. "Merlin's _saggy_ left buttock," I choked, gasping for breath.

James rolled his eyes.

"Don't _ever_," I breathed, "scare me like that again."

James grinned half-heartedly.

"What's up?" I asked curiously. "Is everything alright?"

He scratched his head, looking torn. "I… yeah. I just… in the kitchens before… when you went to hide in the pantry..." Horror rose up in me. What had I been _thinking_? "Didn't Regulus Black see you?"

I scrambled for a lie. "I cast a Disillusionment Charm before he came in. He almost caught me, though," I threw in for good measure. James looked relieved.

"Good," he said. "I wondered for a second…" he looked at me, and something in my face made him change his mind about finishing his sentence. "Never mind," he said abruptly.

"What?" I said confusedly.

"It's nothing. 'Night, Rae," he mumbled, kissing my forehead. He strode off to the boys' dormitories, leaving me bewildered and _very_ curious.

"He suspects, you know," a voice said from the shadows, scaring the shit out of me for the second time that night.

"_Fuck_ing hell," I swore turning to look at the culprit. My expression immediately soured. "Oh. It's you."

"He suspects that something's going on between you and my brother," Sirius continued, ignoring both my cussing and my disgruntled words.

"So why doesn't he just ask me, confront me?" I retorted.

"Because he'd rather believe your lies than accept that you're actually going around with Regulus," he told me blithely.

"Is that so? How about, hmm, I don't know… _he trusts me_?" I snapped.

He stalked past me, turning to face me just as he reached the stairwell. "I wouldn't be so happy about that. After all, it's the trust he has in you that you're betraying."

Leaving me speechless, he, too, strode up the stairs and off to bed. For the first time since I had started seeing Regulus, doubts welled up in me. _Was I really doing the right thing?_

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><p>Thoughts? R&amp;R!<p> 


	12. What Happened That Year

**A/N: HI! I am so so so sorry for the horrendously late update BUT my life has been SO hectic, you wouldn't believe it. Basically, a whole lot of crap fell onto my plate. It was kind like every single kind of drama all crammed up in my poor little head. Friend drama, family drama, boy drama, academic drama... to sum it all up, I'm sick today with a flu-ish-thing. Which finally gave me some time to finish chapter 12.**

**IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! READ! READ!**

**Because the last chapter was so uber short and I felt guilty about how lame it was, I jazzed it up. So please go take a look? :) Also, I'm happy to announce that with this chapter, I crossed FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS! **

**Hope you like it! Hope you LOVE IT. Hope you review!**

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><p><strong>What Happened That Year<strong>

When I woke up, I felt cheerful.

This in itself was odd, given the events of the previous night, but what was perhaps _even __odder_ was that I was awake before anyone else in my dormitory. Even Lily, an overachiever even when it came to sleeping habits, was still snoring.

It was quite an experience for me to share a dorm with more than just Marlene. Up till sixth year, there had been eight girls in our year. Traditionally, five girls roomed together, but, there being there being an excess of women and a lack of beds, a problem occurred. A sixth bed was squished into the dorm room and since Marlene and I refused to sleep in separate rooms, the bed went to Vanessa Carter. By the time another dorm was arranged for us, Vanessa was settled in and happy where she was – so Marlene and I roomed together, two girls in a dorm meant for five.

Things changed in seventh year. What with the rise of Voldemort, many children had been taken out of Hogwarts, temporarily or permanently. This year had so far seen the departure of Vanessa, Dorcas, Alice and Emmeline, leaving a number of beds free. Our friends had not gone willingly; Dorcas had literally kicked and screamed her way through the Entrance Hall, prompting her very muscly brother to grab her up into a half nelson and carry her to the Apparition point. Marlene and I had shifted into the dorm, and honestly, it made a nice change. Lily and Hestia were possibly the best roommates we could have asked for. In my case, it was nice to have others to talk to in the morning or before sleeping. It was nice to yell out, "Has anyone seen my purple knickers?" and have someone fling them in my face. In Marlene's case, I suspected that she enjoyed teasing Lily about James and using Hestia, who was less violent than me, as a guinea pig for her wild makeup experiments.

Either way, the arrangement worked. Marley, Hestia and Lily even worked out a Norah's-alarm-clock schedule.

That morning, I woke up with a sense of optimism. Maybe today would be a good day. Merlin knew I needed one.

I snorted at that, biting back a chuckle. Even in my own mind, 'maybe' was the closest I came to optimism.

Sliding out of bed and revelling in the Saturday morning feel, I crept into the bathroom and stripped, shivering on the cold tiles. Turning the hot water on full blast, I stepped under the flow. This morning (I estimated it to be around seven in the morning) I would get a good, long, hot shower for once in my life.

Halfway through shampooing, I remembered the mountain of homework I had to complete. It loomed above me, with vicious peaks like The Fifteen Uses of Plenwort Root (Slughorn) and Transimagi: Wise or Not? Discuss. (McGonagall) waiting to be tackled.

Smiling, I rinsed my hair out. Even that couldn't put a damper on my mood.

Remembering the gorgeous porridge I had whipped up the last school year, I grabbed up a book and set off downstairs, nodding to a couple of fifth-years who looked like they'd been up all night. In the middle of skipping to the Great Hall, I didn't even notice the Slytherins sneaking up at my flanks until one of them zapped me with a Stinging Hex.

Really, the idiots made it easy for me. They were all standing single-file, so I cast a Banishing charm at Idiot Number One and he flew into everyone else, sending them zooming down the corridor and crashing into a portrait.

As they picked themselves up and the portraits started to berate them, I entered the Great Hall and seated myself with a sense of deep satisfaction.

Contemplating my full breakfast plate with the same expression a cat has after drinking a bowl of milk, I dug in. Sausages, bacon, toast, eggs, _porridge__with__chocolate__and__berries__and__nuts__…_

Halfway through my breakfast, the optimism began to fade.

Why?

Because of the arrival of one Sirius Black at the Gryffindor table. Really, did he _have_ to be up so early? Did he _have_ to ruin my perfect morning? I glowered at him discreetly from beneath my bangs.

No. I wouldn't let him and his poisonous words affect me. I returned to my porridge, though the taste wasn't as good anymore.

As I was pondering Life, or something like that, an unfamiliar owl soared into the Great Hall. This was unusual because all the owls usually came in at the same time, but what even weirder was the fact that the owl was carrying a letter with a Ministry seal.

The owl glided on silent wings around the near-empty Hall, as if deliberately trying to torture me. Please not a purple letter. Please. No, it couldn't be for me… no…

My parents had returned from Austria the previous week. But no, why would the Death Eaters target a half-blood family? It couldn't be. It couldn't…

But my hopes were for nothing; the owl came flying straight at me and dropped the letter in my porridge, which was suddenly utterly unappetising. A dark blob flashed in my peripheral vision; I assumed Sirius had looked down the table at me.

I flipped the white envelope over (at least there was that; it wasn't a purple envelope) and took a closer look at it. Yes, definitely a Ministry seal. With shaking hands, I extracted the soggy parchment from my porridge bowl and slit it open with the breakfast knife at my side.

Two things slid out.

One was a piece of parchment folded over twice.

The other was a purple envelope.

I was now shaking so violently, the papers slipped from my fingers. I turned, bile rising in my throat, and vomited onto the floor, chunks of undigested breakfast spewing out over the grey stone. Coughing and retching, I puked until there was nothing left, and even then dry-heaved several times before I was able to get my spasming body in control. I closed my eyes, willing back the tears, although I was already crying from the strain of vomiting.

Cool fingers pushed my hair back from my face, pressing the rim of a glass to my lips. I swallowed, registering that it was water, before gulping down more. I swallowed two whole glasses before I pushed the third away, the bad taste having been cleaned from my mouth.

Slumping on my elbows, I twisted slightly to look at my helper, gasping when I recognised the familiar profile of Sirius Black. Shame set in, shame that not only had he seen me vomiting, he'd been man enough to actually help me.

"I… thanks," I rasped.

A question was in my eyes, and I think he saw it, because he replied, "I may hate you, Payne, but I'm not heartless."

We stared at each other in impassive silence for a moment while I wiped my mouth on a napkin. His face was apathetic, as if he were performing a distasteful but sadly necessary task.

Which, of course, he was. Minus the 'necessary' part.

Wanker. I didn't need his help.

However, the fact was that he _had_ helped me, which was the only thing stopping me from shoving him away from me and onto the floor.

I whimpered in fear as the papers caught my eye again. The purple one especially seemed to be mocking me in its stupid violent purple-ness, and it was that one that Sirius picked up first.

"Go on," he urged, in a somewhat gentle manner. "Get it over with."

Fingers trembling, I picked up the knife again and attempted to slit the envelope open. Three times I tried, three times I failed.

With a short sigh, Sirius took the envelope and knife from my grasp, fitting the knife in the corner of the thing and slitting it neatly open in a single, fluid movement. Dazed as I was, I found myself sort of captivated by his hands. Strong, capable hands. Veins stood out along the backs of them, letting me know that he could do some serious damage if he wanted to.

"Hey. Norah."

I blinked and the rest of the room came into focus once more. Sirius waved a piece of purple paper in my face. _Oh, __good __God_. Trembling once again, I unfolded the letter and read its contents.

**Official M.O.M. Condolence Letter**

**Condolences offered in the event of loss of life or possessions.**

**Date: 5th October**

**Addressed to: Norah Payne (Miss), Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

_**Dear Miss Payne, **_

_**A recent attack on your neighbourhood orchestrated by those known as Death Eaters has left many a house in ruins – this, we are sorry to say, includes yours. **_

_**Trained Ministry of Magic officials and Aurors combed the area for any signs of your family but found none. Unfortunately, this forces the Ministry to assume that either a) your family is abroad or in hiding or b) they have been abducted by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's followers.**_

_**If you have any information regarding your family, we urge you to contact Fendrick Pendergast at the Reporting and Rescue of Disappeared Magical Folk Office. **_

_**Our condolences and warmest regards,**_

_**Bard Sympter**_

_**Organisation of the Composition and Delivery of Nasty Letters Office (OCDNLO)**_

After reading this, my head swam and my vision blurred to such an extreme that my nails dug furrows in the table as I panicked. I began to hyperventilate, clutching the paper so tightly that it tore in two.

"What does it say?" Sirius demanded. I buried my face in my hands, willing the tears away – unsuccessfully.

"My parents," I choked out. "They've disappeared, and my house is in ruins." My head spun as I tried to wrap my mind around everything that had happened in the last fifteen minutes.

Suddenly, cool fingers were wiping my tears, smoothing my skin so softly, it could have been a lover's caress. Oddly enough, even in the middle of a situation like this, my breath caught in my throat. _What the hell? Focus on the situation at hand, woman._ "Do you have any idea if they're hiding somewhere, or still in Austria?" he asked me. I remembered how to speak and cleared my throat.

"They were due back from Austria a week ago," I told him.

His expression darkened. "Any way to contact them?"

I pondered this. "I have no way of knowing where they are, or even if they're alive, except - " I broke off as an idea dawned.

"Except?" Sirius wanted to know. I didn't answer, simply stuffing the two pieces of paper into my pockets and running for the exit. Sirius followed, Merlin knows why. Although it was only after about five minutes of walking that he realised where we were going.

"Are we going to – ?" he broke off as his question was answered. No doubt he'd visited this office several times during his troublemaking career.

"Butterbeer?" I shouted at the gargoyle. It glared at me.

"There's no need to yell. And at _such_ an hour, too." But it moved aside and I took the moving staircase two steps at a time, racing up until I reached the landing. Sirius was hot on my heels.

"At this time of morning?" he asked as he caught up. "Are you sure about this?"

Losing patience with his do-gooder sheepdog act, I spun around and shoved him into the wall, my wand tip at his throat. Instantly, Nice Sirius vanished as was replaced by the old bitchy sod I knew so well.

"Look, Sirius," I snapped. "These are my parents we're talking about. There are no lengths I won't go to in order to find out if they're alive, and that includes waking up our Headmaster," I continued. "And there's no need to hang around – if you have issues with waking up Professor Dumbledore, you can buzz off. You've done your bit, and thank you. I appreciate it. Really. But you'd _never _understand what my family means to me."

My little speech complete, I dug my wand tip in a little harder and he gagged, pushing my hand away. I stared him down to make sure he got the message, before nodding brusquely and raising the heavy griffin knocker.

I knocked once, twice, three times.

The door swung open, revealing the tall, thin figure of Albus Dumbledore. He looked down at me, a pleasant smile upon his face.

"Ah, Miss Payne," he intoned, his beard glimmering faintly in the candlelight from his office. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this early-morning visit?"

I looked over my shoulder; Sirius had scarpered as expected. Squaring my shoulders, I turned back to the Headmaster.

"Professor, I have a favour to ask of you."

* * *

><p>The phone rang once, twice. Three times. Four times. By the seventh ring, I was getting edgy. By the ninth ring, I was sweating. By the eleventh ring, I was hyperventilating again.<p>

Dumbledore had taken me by Portkey to Muggle London to use a phone booth to call my mother's cellphone – this was the bright idea I'd had in the Great Hall. Her cell was always with her in case of an emergency – and emergencies cropped up often in the life of my hotshot surgeon mother.

By the fourteenth ring, I had given up. My heart in my throat, I began to lift the phone from my ear to slip it back into its cradle.

On the fifteenth ring, someone answered.

The line was crackly and broke off repeatedly, but I'd know the voice anywhere. "Hello?" it said.

"Mom?" I gasped, tears flowing again.

"Norah?" the line crackled once more. "Norah, honey, is that you?"

"Yes, Mom, it's me!" I cried out, slumping against the wall of the telephone booth in relief.

"What's going on? Are you alright?" a note of panic had entered her voice and I hurried to reassure her.

"Are _you_ alright?" I demanded. "Mom – it's too long a story to explain now but some very bad wizards demolished our house and you were supposed to be back from Austria a week ago and – what was I supposed to think?" I asked, angry now. "Where _are_ you?"

"Oh, darling, I'm sorry," my mother yelled into the line as it crackled again. "Haven't you been keeping up with news in our world? A volcano in Iceland started to throw up ash. Flights have been blocked. David wanted to take us home by Portkey but - " her words faded out in a burst of static, " – about travelling the Muggle way. We're fine, I promise. Absolutely fine, and still in Austria."

I was crying in earnest now, sobbing into the phone as relief took over. "Oh, thank God. Thank God."

"We're coming home soon, darling," Mom tried to reassure me.

"No!" I shouted. "No, you can't. It's safer for you there. I'm fine at Hogwarts."

"Norah!" she said, scandalised. "How can you ask me to stay in another country while you're in danger? I may not be magical, but I know what it feels like to lose a child and _I __won__'__t __lose __you_."

I couldn't breathe, the way it always was when Ben came up. _He __was __so __young_. "I - " I broke off, speechless.

"Go back to school, Norah," she said gently. "We'll be back soon and owling you regularly, I promise."

"Okay," I finally managed. "I love you, Mom. Send my love to David."

"I love you too, darling. I will. Take care of yourself, and for goodness' sake, don't worry about us. David is a capable wizard and I'm sure we'll be fine."

"Bye, Mom."

The line cut, and I hung the phone back on the hook right before the money ran out. Stepping outside the shop, I looked around for Dumbledore, finding him examining a pair of skinny jeans in a shop window.

Awkwardly, I approached him. Would he ask me anything about my talk with my mother?

"How do you suppose one would fit oneself into these trousers?" Dumbledore mused, stroking his beard.

I had to grin at that. "With difficulty, sir. Only, I don't think they'll have your size anyway. They make those for people of normal height."

Dumbledore chuckled, offering me his arm. I looked at him questioningly. "We are Apparating back to Hogsmeade, Miss Payne. Thestrals await us."

I gripped his arm tightly, waiting for the unpleasant sensation of Apparation. When we arrived in Hogsmeade, I shook my head vigorously to clear the ringing from my ears, looking up at Dumbledore.

"I'll never like the sensation, but all the same, I can't wait till my Apparition test."

"Indeed," Dumbledore agreed. "In fact, I think a notice should be going up today regarding the test in question. It is scheduled for the fifteenth of October, if I'm not mistaken."

Excited now, and buoyed up again now that I know for certs that my parents were safe, I almost bounced onto my Thestral, causing it to give me a reproachful look. I didn't think about the reason I could see Thestrals; I simply enjoyed the ride.

The animal deposited me at Gryffindor Tower, popping me in through my dormitory window like one would slot a letter through a mailbox. I waved to Dumbledore before withdrawing into my room.

The other girls were up at last, and an eerie silence descended the second I walked in.

"Norah?" Lily asked tentatively. "Can I ask why you're awake and where you've been?"

I grinned at her. "It's a long, long story, Lily. Sit down and I'll tell you about my morning."

As I sprawled on my bed and began to tell my story, I completely forgot about the other piece of paper in my pocket.

* * *

><p>If you've never been interrupted by a disgustingly handsome blonde-haired Slytherin while moon-gazing, let me tell you, it is not a nice experience. I was up on the Astronomy Tower, wondering what had gone wrong and why I was perpetually in a terrible mood (with the exception of Saturday morning). Sirius, I supposed. Him and his poisonous remarks. And having to lie to all my friends. God, the things I had done for Regulus... I only hoped he would do the same for me if it came right down to it.<p>

Looking back, though, I hadn't made the best of choices. I wouldn't have to lie to my friends if I had just resisted temptation back in fourth year.

But you can't really help who you fall in love with.

Fourth year was a tempest. Sirius ruined everything, and his meddling had not only broken bonds between me and Regulus, he was the reason I hadn't been there for Ben - because we'd been having a blazing row at the time.

We'd both made bad choices, basically.

Possibly the person I would least like to see at three am on a Sunday morning while contemplating my choices was Jack Notterdale. Of course, he showed up around three-fifteen, bringing a stink of whisky and some of his drunk mates with him. Evan Rosier among those, of course. Merlin, I just couldn't get _rid_ of the guy, could I?

"Ah, look!" Evan yelled the second he saw me. "It'sssss Norah!"

"Evan," I returned grumpily. Slytherins. They had no respect for privacy.

Not personal space, either, as was proven when Evan snaked an arm around my waist and groped my arse.

"Why out so late, darling?" he slurred, pressing sloppy kisses to my neck. I shoved him off me.

"None of your business."

This drew raucous laughs from him and his mates, and he moved in again, sniffing a strand of my hair.

"Don't be like that!" he pouted. "You know you can tell me anything."

I looked at him evenly. The idea was to stay absolutely calm. Panic or fear drove drunk Slytherins into a gleeful mood. "I'm leaving now. Maybe some other time," I suggested sarcastically, although he probably didn't catch the mocking edge in my tone.

He pushed me back, shoving me against the railings.

"Hey Evan, you going to share her?" Jack shouted from behind Rosier.

"Take her in your own time. I have no interest in seeing your ugly prick," Rosier replied.

Suddenly, Rosier was yanked away from me and Notterdale stood in his place. "I would've thought it'd be a bit disturbing for you. Being up here, I mean," he said to me.

My heart stuttered. He couldn't know about that…

"After what happened to your brother, I mean," he continued mercilessly. "I mean, it's got a be a little traumatising."

"How do you know about Ben?" I hissed at him wildly. His eyes widened in pleasure. Great. Sadistic Slytherin side evoked by my response.

"Oh, they told me about it," he replied casually, waving a hand at his friends. "The guys who did are legends now."

My jaw tightened and I raised my hand to hit him, but he grabbed it, forcing me further back against the railing.

My foot slipped off the edge.

Suddenly, with my life hanging in the balance, I saw what had happened that night. Saw it as clearly as if I'd been there, even though I had found out about the incident second-hand from Minerva McGonagall.

* * *

><p>"<em>Who are you?" the first year stuttered, his teeth chattering with fear and cold. The taller boys laughed, passing around a bottle of drink. <em>

"_That's none of your business, you little shit. Get off the Astronomy Tower. This is our spot."_

_The boy was defiant. Brave in the face of danger. "Why should I? I was here first." _

_A cackle rang through the night, no doubt from one of the blonde-haired boy's cronies. _

"_Do __you __know __who __I __am, __boy?__" __the __leader __of __the __pack __demanded.__ "__I__'__m __Robert __Rowle. __I __rule __this __school. __That __means, __when __I __tell __you __to __leave, __you _leave_.__" _

"_No." The boy stood his ground._

"_No?" Rowle asked dangerously. Another cackle emanated from a boy with a twisted face._

"_It's the bitch who's taught him that. You know. The pretty half-blood who Bella put in hospital earlier this year."_

"_She's taught him a bit too well, I fancy, Dolohov," Rowle replied. "What shall we do with this one now?"_

_Scared now, the boy began to back away. Rowle grabbed him and shoved him into Dolohov, who pushed him into another boy, who pushed him into the railing._

_His foot slipped off. Rowle laughed raucously, prodding him in the back while the cold night air whooshed around them._

_His other foot slipped, and he was falling. He grabbed onto the railing, begging, pleading, but they were out of their minds, it was obvious, they had been drinking and didn't even know what they were about to do._

_"No - please! Norah!" he cried out, hoping for some salvation._

_Rowle stamped on the boy's hands, ruthlessly. With a cry of pain, he let go._

_He fell._

* * *

><p>I was screaming and crying as I twisted away from Jack Notterdale, and soon I heard footsteps thundering up the stairs.<p>

"Fuck!" Evan exclaimed, looking for a place to hide.

But it was too late; and it all happened as if in a dream. James burst through the door, followed closely by Remus and Peter, with Sirius bringing up the rear. Curses flew, Slytherins passed out, unable to defend themselves while under the influence, and I curled up on the floor, sobbing so hard it felt like my heart was going to rip right out of my chest.

Arm were around me, soothing, stroking my hair, but I was stuck three years in the past, in a nightmare of massive proportions.

"They killed him," I whispered over and over. "They killed him. They killed my little brother."

The last thing I saw was a wand aimed at me. "_Somnum_," someone murmured.

I fell into a deep sleep, haunted by the memories of my own flesh and blood as he fell to his death in his very first year. He was too young to die. Too young.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? Read &amp; review, it really makes my day!<strong>


	13. Shaken Up  Part I

**Hey, guys. Rapid update for you because I was so jazzed about the response to chapter 12! I swear I'd update like this all the time if I got ten reviews every time. **

**Chapter 14 is half-written, and I'm heading to India for a week or so tomorrow, so that won't leave a lot of time to finish it, but it'll be up as soon as humanly possible.**

**Love it? Hate it? Review!**

* * *

><p><strong>Previously: A purple envelope arrives and Norah rushes to Muggle London to telephone her mother – who, thankfully, is alive. When she heads to the Astronomy Tower for some quiet time, she runs into some Slytherins and relives her brother's tragic death. <strong>

**Shaken Up – Part I**

"_Norah!" the kid yelled. "Watch me!"_

"_I'm watching!" I called back, shading my eyes against the sun. He ran up a small slope, feet pounding on the grass, and jumped as he reached the crest of the hill. He stayed airborne far longer than normal, seeming to fly before landing lightly on the ground. _

_I smiled to myself. His magic was coming out._

_Ben was ten years old, and sort of a late bloomer, magic-wise. He'd be off to Hogwarts in a year, and I worried for him. He was a little scrawny for his age, with floppy nut brown hair and a toothy smile. Sure, there was the occasional good egg at Hogwarts, but the majority of them would pick on him, I was sure of it. I tried not to get too anxious – after all, I'd be right there with him – but I had my own things to do and I wouldn't be around 24/7._

_I watched as he took the run-up again, basking in the afternoon sun as I watched my little brother trying to fly. But just as he reached the crest of the hill, something went wrong. His magic didn't work. He crumpled to the ground, small and fragile. _

"_Ben!" I shouted, scrambling to my feet. Heart pounding in my ears, I sprinted to the hill, hearing small gasps of pain as I rounded the corner. "Ben?" _

_Kneeling down beside him, I saw his hands clasped around his left ankle. Probably a sprain. _

"_You worry way too much," Ben informed me. "It doesn't hurt that much." I rolled my eyes at him, pulling him arm around my shoulder and helping him up. He winced in pain, but as scrawny as he was, my little brother was pretty tough. Physical pain he could handle – emotional stress, I wasn't so sure about. I helped him into the house, calling for my father to heal his ankle. He was small and shamefully easy to carry, and I knew I had to keep a close eye on him when he got to Hogwarts._

**The memory changed.**

_It was late evening and my parents were on the porch, talking quietly. Ben and I were tussling in the living room, wrestling playfully on the hearth rug beside the unlit fire._

_Abruptly, I remembered James' owl from the morning, inviting me to the annual back-to-school bash. Yes, it happened every year, but it was fun all the same._

_Disengaging myself from my brother, I ran outside to tell my parents. _

"_But Norah," my mother said quietly when I was done talking. "Didn't you promise Ben you'd teach him how to ride a broom tomorrow? He won't get another chance to fly until December."_

_A pang of guilt pricked my stomach, but I pushed it away. "I'll explain it to him. He'll understand," I promised. _

_Closing the porch door behind me, I came face to face with a very angry Ben. _

"_You promised!" he accused._

_I __sighed. __Well, __he __didn__'__t __beat __about __the __bush.__ "__I __know, __sweetie, __but __when __I __made __that __promise __I__'__d __forgotten __about __the __party. __James _did _ask __me __about __it __two __weeks __ago, __and __I __already __promised __him __that __I__'__d __go.__"_

"_But you promised!" he insisted. "Family comes first!" _

"_Ben…" I began._

"_I knew it!" he interrupted. "Your friends are obviously more important." He shrugged. "It's fine. I'll ask David to teach me."_

"_No! Ben!" I cried, scandalised. "How could you even think that?"_

"_Well, __it__'__s __obvious, __isn__'__t __it! __Otherwise __you__'__d __be __staying __here __and __teaching __me __how __to __fly __instead __of __going __to __that _stupid _party! __It __happens __every __year! __What __will __you __miss?__"_

"_Ben - "_

"_No!" he shouted. "I hate you!"_

_He ran off down the corridor and the memory began to dissolve, blurring at the edges until he faded away into blackness. I stood alone in the darkness, uncertain of what was coming next._

_A faint light appeared, with a figure at its centre. _

"_Ben?" I called uncertainly. My voice echoed in the blackness. _

_He stopped, a mere ten feet away. The scrawny arms left me in no doubt: it was definitely him. _

_I took a step forward, reaching out to him. And as I did so, a trapdoor opened beneath his feet, sending him tumbling down. He fell, screaming my name. _

_All of a sudden, I was standing atop a sunlit roof. My mother leaned against the rusty railing, radiant in the light of the setting sun. Her teeth flashed white as she laughed. _

_With a creak and a groan, the railing gave out and the laughter in her eyes turned to panic. She was silent as she fell, her hair billowing around her head like a halo. _

_So it went on. I watched, a helpless bystander as everyone I loved fell one by one to their deaths, right in front of me. David, James, Marlene, Regulus, Lily, Remus, even Sirius. _

_At last, when I couldn't take it anymore, the visions stopped and I was alone in the darkness. I screamed and screamed until my lungs burned and my stomach ached, and I was still screaming when the trapdoor opened beneath me and I fell._

* * *

><p>I awoke with a jolt, my eyes snapping open to bright afternoon sunlight.<p>

"Oh, thank God," a voice breathed beside me. Someone squeezed my hand. Turning slightly, I spotted Marlene looking pale and anxious.

A light pressure on my other hand made me aware of Lily on my other side and Hestia was crouched near the end of the bed, rubbing my leg soothingly.

"You're awake!" Lily chirped. "Finally! We were getting a little worried."

"How long have I - " I rasped, and choked. Hestia fetched me a glass of water. I gulped down three full glasses before I felt human enough to finish my sentence. "How long have I been asleep?"

Lily checked her watch. "Erm… almost seventeen hours. James cast a pretty strong sleeping charm."

I frowned at this. "Why did he cast a sleeping charm on me?"

Marlene looked at me with wide eyes. "Because you wouldn't stop crying, Norah. They found you on the roof with a bunch of Slytherins pushing you around."

It all came back to me then, but strangely, it didn't hurt, it didn't scare me. Numbly, I kicked the blankets off and struggled to sit up. Lily and Marlene jumped to help me, propping me up against my pillows. Lily meant to fluff the pillows more, but I waved her away.

"Ugh. Don't, Lils. I feel like enough of an invalid already."

"You're not an _invalid_," she told me sternly. "You've just woken up from what I'm sure were some pretty traumatising dreams, and your muscles are probably stiff from the crying and the sleeping. You _will_ allow us to pamper you." She glared at me to make sure I got the point.

There wasn't much I could do, seeing as I couldn't move very well, so I nodded meekly. One point to Lily.

"So?" I asked, sipping at a fourth glass of water. "Why aren't the Marauders huddled around my sick bed?"

"Because," Hestia explained, "they're in class."

I blinked as I processed this. "You mean… there are still classes? What the heck's the time?"

"One twenty-five in the afternoon," Lily answered promptly.

"Wait… so…" I took a further minute to process this new information. "Lily Evans is bunking class. The Marauders are attending."

All three girls nodded.

I burst into howls of laughter that hurt my stomach, but _damn_, it felt good to laugh. Lily rolled her eyes good-naturedly while Marlene and Hestia shared smiles.

At last, my hysteria died away and I wiped my eyes, clutching my stomach. "Ow," I moaned.

"Oh!" Lily exclaimed. "I almost forgot." She got up and rummaged in her bedside table, withdrawing a small vial which she uncorked and poured into my water. The mixture turned acid green.

"Um… Lily?" I said tentatively. "Am I meant to drink that?"

"No, you're supposed to bathe in it," Lily returned sarcastically.

I eyed the solution suspiciously. "What is it?"

"A muscle relaxer. I ran out of prescription pills so I brewed a potion instead. Figured you'd need it."

I did. I tossed the mixture down in one go, surprised to find that it tasted lemony and slightly sweet. Almost immediately, the ache in my muscles lessened, and I stretched happily, arching my back against the pillows.

"Thanks, Lils," I murmured, setting my glass on the bedside table. "Why do you have prescription muscle relaxers, though?"

"What's a prescription?" Hestia and Marlene wanted to know.

"It's a doctor's – a Muggle Healer's – medicine recommendation. You can't buy some medicines without a prescription," Lily explained

"Why on earth not?" Marlene exclaimed.

"Because some drugs can be dangerous if you take them in the wrong situation or in overlarge quantities," I told her. "Now, Lily, why do you have prescription muscle relaxers?"

"For my period," she said evenly. "My cramps would be unbearable without them."

There was an awkward silence as we all remembered why I was in bed. I fidgeted with a corner of the blanket, but no one seemed willing to break the silence.

Finally, I gave in. "Did – did they tell you what happened?"

Marlene was quick to answer. "Beyond finding you crying on the Astronomy Tower? No. They didn't know themselves."

They all edged closer, wanting to hear my explanation. Reluctantly, I conceded. "Fine. I'll tell you. But wait until the boys get here – it's not a story I want to tell more than once."

"Is it something to do with Regulus?" Marlene blurted out before her eyes widened and she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"No, Lily knows," I assured her.

"But I don't!" Hestia interjected. "But I won't ask. I know you'll tell me if you want to." She gave me a sweet smile, made all the more sweet for the fact that it was genuine.

"Thank you," I murmured. "And no. It wasn't about him."

"What wasn't about who?" a new voice asked. Glancing at Lily's watch, I realised it was already five past two – lessons were over for the day.

"James!" I cried, opening my arms. Crossing over to my bed, he sat down on the edge and enveloped me in a warm, gentle hug. Pulling back, he squished my cheeks with his palms, giving me the look of a stricken goldfish.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, understood?" he told me, waiting for my nod of agreement before releasing me.

"How are you feeling, Rae?" Remus asked from the doorway.

"Hi, Remus. Much better, thanks," I replied. "You can come _in_, you know."

He grinned at me, stepping into the room fully and sinking down onto Lily's bed. Sirius slunk in after him, unsmiling, and with a crease between his brows.

Suddenly, a silence fell, and everyone was looking at me.

"Yes?" I asked with eyebrows raised.

"Out with it! What happened?" James demanded. Lily smacked him for his lack of tact and he beamed goofily at her.

I took a deep breath, and began.

"Do any of you actually know what happened to Ben?" I asked them.

"I know that he… well, he fell from the Astronomy Tower," Remus said, rushing his last few words in his discomfort. He squirmed in his seat, obviously feeling tactless. I sent him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah. That. But do you know how it came to happen?"

Everyone shook their heads no.

I sighed. "I guess I'll have to start from the beginning, then."

Lily squeezed my hand. "Go on."

"Ben came to Hogwarts in our fourth year. I had promised myself I'd look out for him, but… well, shit happened. There were suddenly too many things to do: homework, tests, Quidditch, Hogsmeade trips, pranks… at the end of it all, I didn't have any time for Ben.

"Ben was always a scrawny kid, and he got picked on by a lot of kids in first year and the years above. I did my best to stop it when I was around, but plenty of it happened when I wasn't around, and soon I began to see bruises from where people had physically bullied him.

"The first day I saw those bruises, I asked him where they had come from. He told me he'd fallen down the stairs because of the trick step.

"The second time, though, I saw it happening. He was in the library and a bunch of fifth years were picking on him, sending him to fetch books and telling him it was the wrong book, dropping books and making him pick them up, that sort of thing. When he did something wrong, they slapped him or hit him.

"I'm ashamed to say that I ran away. I left him to fend for himself, because I was scared of the fifth years. But I resolved to talk to him at night.

"Then that day, in Potions, my cauldron exploded and I received a detention with Sirius from Slughorn. We had a blazing row in the dungeons. My plans for Ben were put on hold.

"That night, when I was finishing up my detention, Ben had gone up to the Astronomy Tower for some alone time and peace. Suicide never even entered his mind, but drunk Slytherins entered the Astronomy Tower."

Marlene's breath hitched, and I realised she was crying. My lungs became tight, but I had no more tears left. I took a breath and ploughed on.

"They were pushing him into each other, making fun, and Ben was brave. He was defiant. And that pissed them off. Their games turned into something more serious.

"They didn't even try to catch him when he slipped."

Lily and Hestia were crying in earnest, their faces masks of shock and horror. "They… they murdered him?"

I met Lily's gaze steadily. I didn't need to answer the question.

A loud crash reverberated around the room and we all jumped, staring at James. Face as black as thunder, he withdrew his arm from inside the wall, where he'd left a fist-sized crater. Tears streamed down his face – he'd loved Ben almost as much as I did. He sank to his knees, his face blank. One of his knuckles looked crooked, and I realised he'd dislocated something when he hit the wall.

Lily knelt next to him, brushing away his tears with gentle swipes of her thumbs. He caught her hand, held it to his cheek. With a sad, soft smile, Lily drew her wand and healed his hand. A popping noise sounded as the knuckle jolted back into place. James didn't even flinch.

Wordlessly, he looked up at me, asking for something.

I stood, crossed to where he was kneeling, and hugged him tightly. He was crying into my hair, the wetness seeping through to my shirt, dyeing the light blue into a darker hue. I could feel the pain radiating off him and I could only imagine how he felt – finding out the truth three years after the incident.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I crooned, stroking his hair.

Eventually, he pulled back, wiping his eyes. I was shaken. Seeing James cry so much was like having an arm ripped off. My saviour, my soldier, my brother in all but blood – he wasn't meant to cry.

But he, like everyone else in the room, was human. The horror of it all was enough to make anyone break down. The death of the young was a perversion of nature.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked me, avoiding my eyes. "I should've asked you about it a long time ago, but I was scared too. I was scared of knowing what had happened."

Remus crouched beside us, giving me a quick hug. He was visibly shaken, I could see it in his eyes. "I think we could all do with some Butterbeer," he murmured. "I'll be back soon, guys." I nodded, waving him goodbye.

Sirius met my eyes, and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something. Eventually, he closed it again and strode out after Remus.

The snap of the door closing seemed to bring us all back to reality, and Lily leaned over to me, laying a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I'm really sorry, Norah. I wish I could've met Ben."

Marlene nodded tearily, still not having gotten a hold on her crying. She'd known Ben, known how special he was. Hestia was speechless, locked in whatever she was thinking. James kept a tight hold on my hand, almost cutting off the circulation in my fingers.

Not thirty seconds had passed before Sirius walked back in, looking torn.

"Look," he told me abruptly. "I have to tell them. Or _you_ have to tell them. I can't – I can't lie anymore. They have to know the other reason you didn't have time for Ben that year."

"Excuse me?" I gasped. _What __the __fuck __are __you __doing! _My mind screamed.

"Tell them about him, Norah," he repeated steadily.

"Lay off her!" Lily snapped at him. He looked about to give her the finger, but thought better of it.

"You don't know what's going on," he told her, brandishing his index finger in her face. She smacked his hand away, standing up to face him.

"I know damn well what's going on, Sirius Black, and this is the _wrong_ time to delve into it! She's been through enough already."

"He needs to know! And if we're talking about emotional shit, let's just get it over with instead of saving it for another day."

"Who's this 'he'?" James demanded. "And why are you talking about him like he'll blow up at Pup for this?"

"You!" Lily shouted, before clapping her hands over her mouth in horror. She'd blown it this time.

"She's - "

"NO!" I yelped, leaping across the room to seal his mouth with my palm.

"Sirius, leave it!" Lily exclaimed. Marlene seemed to understand some of what was going on, but she stayed silent, not wanting to dive in when she didn't know all the facts.

"_What __the __hell __is __going __on?__" _James yelled.

"No! SIRIUS! Please!" I shouted over him.

"SHE'S SEEING MY BROTHER!" Sirius bellowed, ripping my hand off his mouth.

A deafening silence fell in the room.

"Excuse me?" James asked politely.

Sirius repeated his statement calmly. "She's dating my brother."

"Who?"

"Norah."

"Your brother."

"Yes."

"Regulus Black."

"Yes, you fuckwit, how many brothers do I have?"

Silence reigned.

At last, James turned to me. "Is this true?"

I nodded at the floor, unwilling to look in his eyes.

"In fourth year…?"

I cleared my throat. "We were partnered for Potions. We… got over our differences. That's another reason why I didn't have time for Ben, because I was with Regulus."

"And now?" James asked, his voice hoarse.

I refused to answer.

"Norah?"

When I still didn't answer, he stood and crossed the room to me, tilting my chin up with the fingers of one hand.

"They - " Sirius began, but James shushed him.

"Since the end of sixth year," I whispered, my face turned towards him but my eyes focused on the floor.

My words fell like bolts of lightning, falling into the silence with the effect of grenades.

James pushed me away, anger sparking in his eyes, quickly replacing the freezing anguish that had been there before. "So it's _your_ fault after all!" he yelled, his hands trembling.

"What?" I exclaimed, not sure what he was referring to.

"Your fault that Ben died."

He said it so calmly, but the effect it had on me was like a physical injury. It hit me with sonic speed, leaving me gasping for breath while Lily hurried to my side and shushed me, stroking my face, my hair, my back.

It didn't work.

"James," I pleaded, reaching out to him. He batted my arms away, stepping back like I was diseased.

"No. Just… just don't talk to me, Norah. Whatever sad excuses you have, save them. I don't want to hear them. I don't want to hear _anything_ from you anymore."

And so saying, he stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

A rustle came from the corner and I remembered Sirius. He shifted guiltily, and obviously had not been expecting such a colossal reaction from James.

"You," I whispered, gripping my wand so tightly my knuckled turned white. "This… you…" I broke off, speechless.

"Sorry," he managed to mutter. "I wasn't expecting that."

My voice finally appeared and I began screaming at him. "_'__Sorry__' _doesn't fucking cut it, Sirius Black! _Haven__'__t __you __done __enough?__"_

He backed away, just in time. The glass I threw shattered on the wall behind him, sending shards flying everywhere. He scuttled from the room, followed by a torrent of curses from yours truly.

I sank onto my bed, wondering where and when everything had gotten so fucked up.

"Norah," Marlene said quietly. Something in her tone made me look up, and my stomach dropped a further few centimetres when I saw her face.

"Marley - " I began.

"How could you not tell me, Norah?" she asked me, the hurt evident on her face. "I'm supposed to be your best friend. Why does Lily know and not me? To the best of my knowledge, you hated her until a few months ago!"

"Because she _guessed_, Marlene!" I replied, exasperated and terrified in equal measure.

"Doesn't change anything. You didn't tell me and… I don't know what to think anymore."

"Marlene – please!" I called out, standing up and making my way towards her.

"No, Norah – just… give me some time to think. I just…" she looked at me for a second and shook her head sadly. She hurried from the room, leaving Lily, Hestia and I in silence.

Hestia said nothing, simply patting my shoulder before leaving the room herself.

The guilt in my stomach has overflowed and flooded my entire body. It entered my mouth as a sick, bitter taste and I ran to the bathroom, stomach muscles heaving. Lily held my hair back as I vomited, and washed my face gently with a damp cloth.

"It's not true," she said softly. "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was. I should have – I should have been there - "

"There's nothing any of us could have done. Who could have predicted something like that?"

I just shook my head. If I had been there for him like I was supposed to, he might not have even gone up to the Astronomy Tower that night.

Lily broke the silence. "Lunch is over. Do you want to head down to the kitchens?"

I looked down at myself morosely. "No appetite."

"I understand," Lily said soothingly, "But you haven't fed your system for over twenty-four hours. You need some nutrition."

Too tired to argue, I simply nodded, standing up and brushing myself off. We slid down the girls' dormitory slide and crossed the common room. I was hyperaware of the discussion between the Marauders and Marlene that was going on by the fireplace, but I pretended not to notice, although my breath caught in my chest at the sight. Remus stood, listening intently, a few Butterbeers clutched in his hand. Peter was looking confused, probably because he hadn't been there and had no idea what they were banging on about. I think Lily noticed, because she pulled me along faster, almost jogging out of the portrait hole.

We were halfway down the marble staircase when I saw him.

He looked just the same as ever, his wizard robes worn over simple Muggle clothing. His hair was windswept and his eyes twinkled, giving the misleading impression that he was a nice guy.

"Holy shit," I gasped, wondering how my day could get any worse.

"What?" Lily asked, following my gaze. "Who's that?"

"My dad," I replied, barely moving my lips.

"Your dad?" Lily asked confusedly. "But…"

"David is my stepfather," I whispered quickly, willing my father to keep looking the other way. "My real dad – that douche bag down there – cheated on my mom and ran away with a pureblood woman. I hated him then and I hate him now and – oh _fuck_, he's seen us."

"Hi, honey!" my father called, waving his arm.

And _that _is how my day could get worse.

* * *

><p><strong>Coming up: "I'm drunk and I don't care. Do…whatever…you…want."<strong>


	14. Shaken Up Part II

**Previously: Norah, who'd been put into an enchanted sleep, has some flashbacks and visions of the deaths of everyone she loves. When she wakes up, she tells her friends Ben's story and the reaction is colossal. Just when emotions are at their highest, Sirius spills the beans on her secret thing with Regulus and most of Norah's friends turn against her. And, to make her day even worse, what's her dad doing at Hogwarts?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song "Push" by Enrique Iglesias nor the song "Pony" by Ginuwine. _Push_is almost as sexy as Enrique, so I suggest you listen to it, whereas I picked Pony for its dirty lyrics and not because I actually like the song overmuch. **

**Read, review, leave some love! Quite a monster of a chapter, this. And, I hope to achieve a hundred review with this chapter! PLEASE, make an author happy. ;)**

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><p><strong>Shaken Up Part II – The Calm Before the Tempest<strong>

**Dear Norah,**

It's been a few days since you left and I'm getting a little worried. Where are you?

Missing you and hoping you're alright.

**Love,**

**Lily**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Norah,<strong>

Seriously, I'm getting angry now. Get your goddamn act together and stop being an illiterate bitch.

**Love,**

**Lily**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Lily,<strong>

Only you could bitch at me in a letter and then sign off with 'Love, Lily'.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I really do owe you an explanation… but… where to start?

Fine, let's start from when I was ten. Ben was seven. Dad and Mum were fighting loads and he started working later and later every night. On my eleventh birthday, he didn't even show up for the main event. He arrived at eleven pm with rumpled clothes and no birthday presents. He went straight to sleep without even wishing me a happy birthday. I went to sleep crying that night, and Mum got angry. They raged at each other until the early hours of the morning, and the next day, Mum left the house at around seven and only came home at twelve midnight. She told me that I was old enough to know – that she wasn't going to hide the truth from me. Dad had been seeing another woman. She had seen them together. She was filing for divorce.

Now, as far as I know, he left our house and family and ran off with that other woman. He sent a birthday card every year, but I used to tear them up without even opening them. Eventually, the birthday cards stopped. I lost contact with him.

So I think you'll understand why it was pretty earth-shaking for me, seeing him that day.

Oh yeah, and David. Mum met him when I was thirteen and they got married.

I miss you like mad, but the situation at home is….

Well, I'd tell you right now, but I have things to do. I promise I'll clue you in properly soon.

Are James and the others still angry?

**Love,**

**Rae**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Rae,<strong>

In answer to your question… yeah, they're still angry. I honestly think they're overreacting _quite_ a bit, but nothing I say changes their minds.

James and Sirius are the only really angry ones and I really have no idea what's going on in Marlene's head, but Sirius hated you anyway and Remus, Peter and Hestia are easily influenced. I don't think they have any problems with you, but they won't talk to you, so don't be too surprised by their attitudes when you get back.

I'm really sorry about your father – I really had no idea! I come from a totally different family background, so I can't really empathise, but I can sympathise.

You still owe me an explanation! Why did your father take you away? Where are you? What's going on? You are coming back, right?

Oh, I have some good news for you. Alice and Emm are coming back to school! No news from Ness or Cas, but Alice says their parents are concerned that mail is being intercepted.

Even so, I used magic to extend our dorm so that you and Marlene won't have to move out. I didn't think you'd want to be alone in a dorm with her at this point. At least, not until she's recovered from her petty little betrayal issue.

**Love, **

**Lily**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Lily,<strong>

Sorry I've taken so long to reply. I have about five seconds of breathing space a day, and I'm using today's one you – so you better be grateful!

I probably should be killing myself over James and Marley being angry with me, but being so far away right now, I kind of feel detached from the whole thing. I suppose it'll kick in when I get back to school – and that's a _yes_, I am coming back to Hogwarts.

As for where I am right now, David and Dad think I shouldn't say the exact location, but I'm with my parents. Dad only shows up at night to check up on us (God knows why, since David's around!) but David and I are around Mum 24/7. Thing is, Lils, Mum got sick. The Muggle doc says it's nothing serious, and so did the Healer we called in, but she's just not getting _better_. Don't get me wrong, she's not getting worse either, but that she's not recovering is sort of worrying for us. We're looking into it, but David's been running all over the country to ask professionals their opinions on this sickness and I'm needed to help Mum out and fetch her water and things. I really have no idea when I'll be back – although it's not as if I'm being missed anyway! Except by you, of course.

Take care. Missing you.

**Rae**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Norah,<strong>

I'm really sorry about your mum – give her my love and get-well wishes, will you?

Remember when I said I'd say yes to James next time he asked me?

Well, in light of what he's doing, I don't think I will. I want you to know that I totally don't condone how unreasonably angry he is. He asked me today, as a matter of fact. I just gave him a look and said, "In light of what you're doing to your best friend? I don't think so, Potter."

He sort of had a stunned look on his face. I do feel a teensy bit guilty, but I think he did deserve it.

Hope you come back soon – I need someone with a backbone around here. I'm quite disappointed in Hestia and Remus.

Slughorn asked after you yesterday. I told him I didn't know when you were coming back, and he replied, "Well, that's a shame. It doesn't seem right without _something_ blowing up every day."

See, someone else misses you!

**Lots of love,**

**Lily**

* * *

><p><strong>My dearest darling Lily,<strong>

You didn't have to do that, you silly girl! If you wanted to say yes, you _should__have_, no matter what he's done!

I have two sets of news for you.

The first part is that I'll be coming back in two weeks! Mum has finally shown some improvement and it seems she'll make a full recovery.

The second part is that I've met my old childhood friend, Liam, while I've been staying here. Turns out he's a wizard, can you believe it! He's studying at Beauxbatons. It's been good, having someone to talk to while I'm here.

Can't wait to see you!

**Lots of love,**

**Norah**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Norah,<strong>

It's great to hear that you're coming back! I'm SO excited. Things really aren't the same without you.

Regulus asked after you the other day. Discreetly. While I was on my way back from Potions. I didn't know what to tell him, so I told him you'd owl him. Please do. It'll look suspicious if he asks me again and things with our group are fragile enough.

Also, here's some sort of disturbing news. I spotted your dad in the Entrance Hall yesterday, talking to Jack Notterdale. I don't know what they were talking about, and I've no proof that Jack's even a Death Eater, but I'd be careful around your dad if I were you.

Missing you and waiting for your return!

**Lots of love,**

**Lily**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Lily,<strong>

It is sort of worrying, but I trusted my dad about as far as an ant can jump anyway.

I can't owl Regulus right now – tell him I'm safe, not to worry, and that I'll be back in two weeks.

Can't wait to see you!

**Love,**

**Norah**

* * *

><p>I smiled, flicking through the letters from Lily. She hadn't yet replied to the latest, but I was expecting a reply sometime this evening.<p>

"NOOOORRAAAAAHHHH!" a voice called from outside the window, drawing my attention to the familiar figure at the gate. I opened my window and climbed out, sliding down the trunk of a conveniently situated oak tree to reach the ground.

"Must you scream like that every time you want me to come down?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "The Muggles probably think you're mad."

"Let them," Liam said with a shrug, pushing his hood back so his face could be seen. "Anyway, there's a party tonight at Catrin's house. Is David home tonight or do you have to stay?"

"David's home," I replied. "Let me check with him." I gave Liam a quick once-over before I went inside, taking note of his dark-wash jeans, black hoodie and the tangle of shaggy blonde hair falling over bright blue eyes. I felt a little thrill of pride. I had a gorgeous friend. The last thought made me want to laugh at myself, but I stopped myself before embarrassment could occur and went to find David.

I ran inside, bursting into the kitchen in my quest for David, and from there to the bedroom and back through the kitchen to the dining room.

"Dave," I said when I found him on the porch, "do you need me or can I go out tonight? If it gets too late I'll crash at Liam's house."

David waved me away casually. "Yeah yeah, go on. Have fun! And be careful. Don't get drunk and go blabbing about wizards to all the Muggles in our neighbourhood."

I kissed him swiftly on the cheek. "Best dad ever," I told him with a wink, jetting out the front door again.

"Am I dressed appropriately?" I asked Liam, motioning to my jeans and sleeveless hoodie.

"You look great," Liam assured me. "It's almost winter, no one will care what you're wearing."

I linked arms with him and we walked in a comfortable silence to Catrin's house. I had never been there before, but I knew it when I heard it – yes, _heard_, not saw.

Music could be heard from three streets away, and I was sure the neighbours would be calling in a complaint soon if they didn't turn it down. Liam and I looked at each other, wondering whether to knock or not.

Liam shrugged, mouthing something I couldn't hear over the music. He pushed the door open and we walked into the kind of party that is usually only seen in movies, with drinks, drugs, a hot pool and God knows what else.

"Hi!" a perky blonde appeared at Liam's shoulder. From her fake American accent to her overlarge chest, I could tell this was Catrin "Barbie" Barton, who was reputed to be more plastic than flesh.

"Hi, Catrin," Liam said uncomfortable. She had attached herself to his right arm and was grinning at him widely. Obviously Lil' Miss Barbie had a thing for him, and _boy_was he awkward about it.

"_Hi_, Catrin," I said exaggeratedly, taking pity on the guy and taking her attention off him for a moment. "Great party."

"Thanks," she said automatically, obviously sizing me up. "Are you two together now?"

Liam sent me a just-go-with-it look. "Actually, yeah."

My eyes widened. "_What?__" _

He squeezed my hand, silently telling me to _please,__please__play__along._

"Uh… I mean…" I fumbled to fix the situation. "It's actually a pretty cute story. I mean, we've been friends since we were, what, three?" I asked him, batting my lashes. He looked impressed by my performance.

"That's right," he agreed.

"Anyway, I moved house – family problems, you know – and we lost contact, but I came here and _guess__who__I__ran__into!_" I squeaked. "It was, like, _fate_."

"Of course it was, baby," Liam said, nuzzling my cheek. _Ew_.

"Oh. Well." She looked disappointed. "Drinks are over there, hot tub's free for anyone who's cool with skinny dipping, and the DJ, my brother, is taking requests. Have fun." She slouched off moodily.

"Aww. Liam, you just ruined someone's evening!" I said mockingly. He dropped my hand and took my elbow instead, pulling me to the corner where Catrin had said the drinks table was. Inspecting the drinks available, he offered me a shot of some clear liquid. I looked at it doubtfully.

"Um… I'm not sure," I hedged.

Liam raised an eyebrow. "It's one shot, Norah. Since when have you held back?"

"Well, yeah, but…" I lowered my voice and leaned closer. "I don't want to get drunk with Muggles around!"

"You won't get _drunk_ off one shot!" Liam protested. Taking my hand, he shoved the shot glass into it.

Helplessly, I downed the shot, gasping as the liquor burned down my throat. Liam handed me a slice of lemon and I sucked on it gratefully. While I did so, Liam walked down the table, picking up two glasses and bringing them back to me. He dished out generous amounts of rum into each glass and topped it off with coke.

"Cheers," he toasted. I clinked my glass to his and chugged it down.

Four glasses of the mixture later, I felt relaxed enough to dance. What was a little worrying was that I couldn't really walk straight. It didn't really matter, though. The dance floor was so packed that the dancers were all packed in like sardines and it kept me upright as I danced.

Despite the packed dance floor, I caught glimpses of the people in the room. There seemed to be an unnatural number of pretty blonde girls in the room, and as a couple of them crowded onto the dance floor next to me, I managed to spot brown roots. _Ah.__Fake__bitches._ I laughed a little to myself, the chuckles blown away on the tide of bass and high spirits that rocked the house.

At some point, Liam vanished, and I only realised when I turned to look at him and he wasn't there. Slightly alarmed, I turned full circle, finally catching sight of his blonde hooded head beside the drinks table. Relieved, I relaxed into the dancing again.

Spicy cologne invaded my nostrils and I inhaled reflexively. The scent was very obviously a masculine fragrance and it was… very nice, I had to admit. I spun around, looking for the culprit, and found him immediately in the shape of a very tall, very muscular Muggle boy. He had dark hair cropped short and a straight, white smile that, far from making my heart do cartwheels, made me instantly suspicious of him. His smile reminded me of Evan Rosier's. The I'm-going-to-be-nice-to-get-into-your-pants smile.

"Hi," he shouted over the music, still smiling widely. "My name's Ian."

"Norah," I returned, forcing myself to smile back. Maybe he was just being friendly. I couldn't fault the guy at first glance just for having a creepy smile.

As if on cue, just because life decided I wasn't uncomfortable enough, someone knocked into me from behind and I fell into Ian's arms. At that very moment, a new song started up. An unfamiliar Muggle song with a heavy, sensual beat. The lights dimmed and Ian pulled me upright, pressing our upper bodies together.

_**When you need it**_

_**Girl I try to hide it**_

_**But I can't escape it, oh baby**_

_**Please forgive me**_

_**When I think of you my thoughts are so x-rated, oh baby!**_

This was bad. Very bad. I should get out now, I should really leave… but the alcohol was clouding my rationality and the song was just _so__sexy_.

And Ian was a good dancer, as were most people in the crowd. _Let__loose__a__little!__It__'__ll__be__fun!_A little voice urged. So I let go, and danced, and listened to the music as the lyrics got progressively more provocative.

_**Baby I don't give a damn**_

_**I know that your man's nowhere in sight oh oh**_

_**And your eyes don't tell a lie**_

_**I know you wanna come with me tonight**_

_**And I'll see you right**_

_**But first you gotta,**_

_**Push, push, back up on me.**_

As the lyrics got hotter, so did the dancing, and soon couples were caressing each other over clothes as they danced. Ian didn't try anything, for which I was grateful, but the intensity of the song and the dances going on around me had my breath coming faster and my heartbeat seeming to thump in time with the bass.

Abruptly, a hand closed over my upper arm, almost painfully tight. I gasped in protest and whipped around to glare at whoever was holding on like that.

To my utter surprise, it was Liam.

_What__the__hell?_ I asked with my eyebrows. He said nothing, simply shoving Ian away from me and dragging me back out of the throng of dancers.

"What?" I demanded as soon as we were out on the porch.

"What were you thinking?" he accused, stabbing a finger in my direction.

"What? What did I do?"

"You were worried about drinking too much and doing something stupid. Dancing with Ian Longstaff constitutes as _stupid_," he snarled.

I raised my eyebrows. "Well, excuse me for not knowing everything about everyone in this place after living here for two weeks. Dear Merlin, how _remiss_ of me!" I yelled the last part before clapping my hands over my mouth. _Ooh_. Thank Merlin the Muggles were too busy making out to notice my Merlin reference.

Liam ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "He's not a good guy," he said finally.

"I figured that out for myself, thanks," I replied frostily. "Your point?"

He sighed, messing up his hair even more, a habit I'd realised resulted from nervousness. "I just… I don't think you should be near him."

I studied his expression. A tiny defensive tightening around his eyes and mouth, and hands thrust deep into pockets. "Why are you taking it so personally?" I asked gently. "It was just a dance. I had no intentions of going any further."

"It's a long story," he hedged.

"Paraphrase it," I suggested icily, my temper flaring again. Nice world, it was, when friends didn't tell you things they should.

That said, I had hidden a fair few things from my mates too. A familiar surge of guilt thundered through my pores.

"I can't tell you!" he hissed at me.

I surveyed him through narrowed eyes, giving him a chance to back down. If it had been something to do with him, I would have let it go. But if he wanted me to stay away from someone, he had better tell me why. No one controlled me like that.

"You're not going to tell me," I clarified.

Liam shook his head resentfully.

"Then I see no reason to stay away from a few harmless dances with him," I said smoothly. I nodded to Liam and stepped brusquely around him, heading back to the near-oppressive heat of the house.

"Drink?" a voice asked the second I stepped through the doorway.

"Thanks," I murmured, taking it from Ian's hand and downing it.

"He your boyfriend?" Ian asked me, nodding to where Liam stood, hunched over the porch railing.

I laughed sourly. "No." On impulse, and a rebellious desire to prove to Liam that I didn't answer to him, I grabbed Ian's hand and pulled him to the dance floor, weaving through the bodies to a relatively open spot. Ian slipped in behind me, his hands sliding to my waist. A new song started up and everyone stopped to adjust to the tempo change.

_**I'm just a bachelor**_

_**I'm looking for a partner**_

_**Someone who knows how to ride**_

_**Without even falling off**_

_**Gotta be compatible**_

_**Takes me to my limits**_

_**Girl when I break you off**_

_**I promise that you won't want to get off**_

Pulling me tighter against him, he brushed my hair to one side and pressed his face to my neck, inhaling the perfume I had applied before leaving home. His hips pressed against mine as we swayed and my cheeks began to heat, although the lights and my dark skin hid the blush.

_**Sitting here flossing**_

_**Peeping your steelo**_

_**Just once if I have the chance**_

_**The things I will do to you**_

The song was so provocative in its beat and lyrics, I shivered and pulled away, the intensity getting too much for me. So as not to make him feel bad, though, I pulled him with me, out of the throng of grinding bodies and into somewhat fresh air.

I was feeling dangerously tipsy – borderline drunk, in fact, but I still reached for a brightly coloured Jell-O shot. Anger was still pulsing within me – who the hell was Liam to tell me what to do?

As I tossed the shot back, I caught a glimpse of Liam lighting a cigarette outside the window. My dislike deepened. I hadn't known that he'd started smoking.

The alcohol filtered into my bloodstream immediately and I staggered, leaning back against the wall for support.

"How much have you had?" Ian asked me, taking the glass from my limp fingers and setting it aside.

"I – I dunno," I muttered hazily. "One vodka shot, four glasses of rum and Coke, whatever you just gave me and – _oh_," I groaned as the world tilted at an odd angle.

"Let's get you upstairs," he murmured, pulling my arm around his shoulders and supporting my weight as I stumbled. Dimly, I registered that I should _not_ be going upstairs with this guy, but most of me was just too drunk to care.

When it became apparent that I was unable to climb the stairs, Ian scooped me up and carried me all the way upstairs in a fireman's lift. You know, torso facing the rear, arse in the air, legs hanging unattractively in front. Had I been sober, that would have really scared me, because I couldn't use magic to escape here and this guy was so much stronger than me.

I wasn't sober, though. I was drunk and the only thing my stupid brain could think of was, _Oh.__It__'__s__nice__to__be__carried._

A doorknob creaked. The door, too, creaked as it opened. I was vaguely surprised. You'd think a rich girl like Catrin would have people to oil her hinges for her. I heard the thud as the door shut, and assumed Ian had kicked it shut.

As I fell onto something soft, I sighed in relief. The rocking motion of being carried was starting to make me motion-sick. Before I could curl up and pass out, the mattress shifted and sunk under another person's weight. Large, rough fingers stroked up my side, dipping under the fabric of my skin to trace my skin. It felt nice, and I didn't begin to panic until his body covered mine.

He was warm and heavy, and as my panic began to set in, the oddest image flashed in my mind. Ben's smiling face as he ran away from me. I couldn't quite place it, but I _thought_ it was the day we were playing tag in the meadow near our house.

Sadness pierced me like a knife in the guts. I'd never see that face again. Never.

Ian's breath blew across my face. In the back of my mind, I wondered why I couldn't go three weeks without being pawed by some ridiculously handsome guy. But at the forefront of my mind was overwhelming sadness – a raw emotion I hadn't felt since fourth year, when the horror of everything was still fresh.

"Can… can I kiss you?" he asked quietly, the innocent question completely out of place in the situation we were in. It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time; it made me wonder what the hell I was doing, and still I didn't shove him off me.

_But__… __Regulus!_A part of me whispered.

The angrier, louder half retorted, _He__'__s__somewhere__far__away.__How__will__he__find__out?__She__deserves__a__bit__of__fun._

It was the last six words that made me say what I said next.

"I'm drunk and I don't care. Do…whatever…you…want."

His grin was hungry; near-predatory. He leaned in, his lips a breath away…

And the door slammed open.

Ian was yanked roughly off me and I heard him land on the floor with a thud and a loud outbreak of cussing. Gentle hands pulled me to my feet and I found myself looking at Liam. I was too far gone to even be angry anymore and I let me check me over for any sign of injury, waiting passively as he tilted my chin up to read my expression.

"Sit down," he said softly, giving me a gentle push. I thumped back down onto the mattress as he turned to Ian.

"Haven't you done enough?" he asked pointedly. "You stole my girlfriend and now you have to take my best friend too?"

"Yeah, well," Ian said casually as he got to his feet. "I know you. You're like a frightened puppy. All bark and no bite. Ain't that right, brother?"

Even as dazed as I was, the word shocked me. _Brother?__Ian__is__Liam__'__s__brother?_

"I'm not your brother," Liam replied harshly. "And you have no idea what I could do to you." Sparks began to glow between his fingers, evidence of his anger.

"Liam, relax," I slurred, conscious of the Statute of Secrecy even when drunk. He glanced at me, softening slightly.

"Step-brother, then," Ian continued, acting as if I hadn't spoken.

"Just stay away from her," Liam said, only the tremor in his voice betraying his anger. "And me."

"Oooh, well, that's put _me_ in my place, then, hasn't it?" Ian asked mockingly. He grabbed me by the arm, yanking me upright next to him. I was too weak to resist. "You don't mind me, do you, darling?"

Weakly, I shook myself free. "I'm taken, asshole," I snapped, finally remembering Regulus and feeling utterly relieved that I hadn't done anything with Ian.

His face darkened and his right hand curled into a fist. That was all the warning I had before he swung at Liam, who ducked neatly and karate-chopped him at the junction of his neck and shoulder. Ian fell to his knees, grimacing. "Jesus – you little shit, you actually can do something worthwhile other than flip your hair and charm the girls with your pansy smile. Who would've known?" With a nasty grin, he got to his feet, but we were running at that time, down the stairs and out the door. I waved to Catrin as we dashed away, my senses abruptly clear and sober. As soon as we stopped, outside my house, the liquor in my bloodstream came back in full force. I staggered, turned, and threw up in a bush by my front door. Liam held my hair back, and since there weren't any Muggles around, conjured a damp towel for me to clean my face with. His wet towel routine reminded me of Lily, who'd done the same thing the last time I threw up.

"Here. Hold still," Liam murmured. Pointing his wand over my stomach, he traced a circle and said a spell I didn't hear properly. An unpleasant ripping sensation tore through my veins, but before I could yelp in pain, it was gone, and I was left beautifully sober.

"Sorry. Sobering Charm. Not pleasant, I know." He gave me a hint of a smile and I felt remorse for my petty anger seep in.

"I should have listened to you," I said glumly. I hated apologising. "But I didn't see a reason to stay away because you didn't give me one."

"I know," Liam said quietly. "But I didn't want you to know what he'd done. It's always been a source of… shame… for me."

"Whatever for?" I asked with raised brows. "You're amazing. If a girl you loved ditched you for him, then she had something wrong with her."

He smiled properly then, and it was like a dam had broken, letting light shine through. I was jealous. I wished I had a smile that lit up a room.

"D'you want to stay over?" I asked on the spur of the moment as I noticed him looking nervously at his own house. From what I now knew, I figured Ian would be coming home, mad as a stung bull.

"If that'd be okay," he replied gratefully. I linked arms with him, pulling him up the cobbled pathway to the front door. It was only midnight, and I was expecting my parents to be wide awake, so I didn't bother being quiet as I shut the door behind me.

"Mum? Dad?"

"In here, honey," a voice replied, although not the voice I'd expected.

I entered the living room suspiciously. "When I said 'dad', I didn't mean _you_," I said to my biological father, tugging Liam into the room with me.

A brief flash of hurt showed in his eyes, but he otherwise ignored my spiteful words. "Was that you were heard throwing up?"

"Yeah," I muttered unwillingly. "Rough night."

"Are you alright?" David asked immediately.

"Fine, Dad," I replied with a smile, blowing a kiss to him.

"Listen, I don't have much time," my father said suddenly, abruptly business-like. "There's someone I want you to meet."

A boy stepped out of the shadows, and my heart leapt into my throat. _What.__The.__Fuck._

"What the hell is Jack Notterdale doing at my house?" I snapped, drawing my wand. I sneered his name, but noticed that he didn't sneer back. If anything, he looked bewildered and a little sad.

"You know each other?" my father asked, obviously surprised.

"Well, yeah, we go to the same school. I knew you were talking to him, but how could you… how could you bring him to my _house_?" I yelped at him.

"How did you – never mind," my father cut himself off. "Norah, honey, you know that I met someone else and fell in love. And I know you hate me for it, but there's no stopping love in its tracks, is there? And when people are in love… they… well…"

My eyes widened in horror. Oh, surely not…

"Norah, meet Jack. Jack, meet your half-sister."

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><p><strong>Coming up: "Potter, what the hell!"<strong>

**"I did it for you, Lilyflower!"**


	15. Shaken Up Part III

**Shaken Up – Part III**

**Previously: Norah attends a party with her friend Liam, Lily finds out Norah's complicated family history, and Norah finds out about a new member of her family – and she's not happy about it.**

**WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ELEMENTS OF SELF-HARM. Nothing serious, but just a warning. DO NOT EVER ATTEMPT TO HARM YOURSELF. IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DOES THESE THINGS, TALK TO THEM. Your words could make the difference between unmarked skin and a cut vein.**

**Like? Love? Hate? Review!**

* * *

><p>"I don't like this," I told Jack Notterdale bluntly as the two of us wheeled our trolleys to King's Cross. He gave me a sideways look.<p>

"Do you always say exactly what you're thinking?" he asked me.

"Yes."

"Well to be honest, I'm not comfortable either."

Fair enough. Not like I expected him to jump up and down and yell, "Aww, I always wanted a lil' sista!" One midnight conversation wasn't going to change that.

"But I think you'll need all the friends you can get when we get back to Hogwarts," he continued.

"What?" I asked him, wide-eyed.

"You were away for two weeks, remember? I was there. I saw what your so-called "mates" are doing."

"Which is…?

"Discriminating loudly against you in public places."

I wasn't exactly surprised. James had never been one to keep quiet about stuff.

King's Cross was crowded that Monday morning, so we had to be as discreet as possible. Sneakily, we approached the barrier. And as if to cause the most awkward situation possible, an owl shot out of nowhere and landed on my trolley. I recognised Lily's neat handwriting on the envelope and rolled my eyes.

"Thanks, Lily. Now we'll never get through the barrier unnoticed," I muttered.

"It's a Portkey, not a train," Jack said quietly. I didn't understand where he was going until he pulled me into a corner, took out his wand and muttered, "_Accio Portkey"_. It came flying out through the barrier in the shape of a tissue, which I thought was pretty lucky considering that it would have been odd for Muggles to see teapots flying all over the place.

I took hold of my trunk with one hand and the Portkey with the other, as did he. He also clutched an owl's cage, but it was empty, since he'd had the foresight to send the owl ahead to Hogwarts.

"Three – two - " he murmured as it began to glow blue. We huddled around it, shading the light from any Muggles who might be looking. With a jerk behind our stomachs, we vanished from the train station, with hopefully no surprised onlookers.

Prof McGonagall was waiting when we appeared outside the tall gates of Hogwarts. I felt a twinge of trepidation as I looked up at the school, and I knew it was connected to James and Marlene.

"Welcome back, Miss Payne, Mr Notterdale," she said without unnecessary emotion, and beckoned to us as she nonverbally opened the gates. It felt good to be back on the grounds, but at the same time, I was scared of what I'd find upstairs.

"You both will be expected to attend classes tomorrow. You may leave your trunks here. Mr Notterdale, you have a guest waiting for you in my office."

Jack gave me a look that I took to mean that my father was waiting upstairs in McGonagall's office.

"See you later," he told me, following Prof. Minnie back down the corridor. I watched him leave, and wondered how I'd gotten into this uneasy trust thing.

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><p>"<em>Of all people I could've had as a half-brother, why you?" I shouted at him. He stood a few paces away, arms folded across his chest.<em>

"_It's not as if I had a say in it!" he roared back at me, his arms unfolding and his hands clenching into fists at his sides._

"_I hate you!" I screamed. It was petty, but I was angry at the world, angry with my father, and horrified that not only was I dating a Slytherin, I now had one for a half-brother. "Why couldn't you have stayed a secret and left me in peace?"_

"_Why do you hate me so much?" he asked me, his voice sounding too quiet in the aftermath of my screaming._

"_You hang out with Death Eaters. You let Evan Rosier molest me. You made fun of my little brother's death. I just… I don't know how to forgive you. I don't know how to trust you."_

_He strode forward until he was right in front of me and grabbed my face, staring me down. "Listen to me. You have no idea what it's like in that house. I made a bad decision, sat down with the wrong people that day, and now __**I can't get out**_**. **_Do you understand? They'll kill me, Norah. They'll kill me." _

_Abruptly, Ben's face popped up in my mind. He'd been doing that a lot recently, and it always made my breath hitch. And then, curse me, I found myself thinking of how I'd already lost one brother and how this guy, whether I liked it or not, shared my blood. _

_I'd lost one brother. I wasn't going to lose another. _

_I only realised I was crying when he wiped my tears away. "Can we be friends?" he asked tentatively. I smiled. It was unsure, but it was a smile._

"_Trust comes first, Notterdale," I told him. "Prove that I can trust you and then let's talk about friendship."_

"_Fine," he agrees. "That's fair. Here's the first step: as your brother, I solemnly swear that I will kick the arse of anyone who harms you." _

"_Thank you," I whispered. I locked eyes with him for a second before pushing past and going back inside, where I fell into bed beside Liam and drifted off to sleep._

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><p>The Gryffindor kids barely even glanced up when the portrait hole opened, but as soon as I walked in, a deathly hush fell over the room. Obviously, the story had spread. I had officially been deemed a Slytherin lover.<p>

This hypothesis was corroborated when a sixth-year left the common room, deliberately bumping into me with a hiss of, "_Slytherin lover."_

A flash of familiar hair bobbed at the edges of my vision, and I turned to catch sight of Marlene, James and the others huddled by the fire. They were determinedly not looking in my direction, talking amongst themselves like nothing had happened. It looked so normal for a second that I almost ran over to announce my return – and stopped myself just in time. There was the telltale clenching of James' fists, the defensive tightening at the corners of Marlene's mouth – I knew them well, and I knew that if I went to talk to them, I would be ignored.

Slowly walking to the girls' stairs, I tried to act like nothing was bothering me. I was fighting a losing battle though, and my eyes were blurry before I had even reached the top. Angrily, I swiped away the tears. I'd been doing too much crying lately. This, I reminded myself, was not my fault. I knew better than them when it came to Regulus' character. I knew he was a good guy. If they chose not to believe it… their loss.

The door creaked as it opened, and across the room, Lily spun around. "Norah!" she exclaimed, jumping up and yanking me into a crushing hug. "You look tired," she noted, examining me from an arm's length away.

I laughed hollowly. "The last few weeks have been _hell_. I have news for you…"

"Bad news?"

"Depends on how you look at it, I suppose."

As we sat down on my bed, something under the sheet crackled. Frowning, I got up and lifted the bedcover to investigate. It was a piece of paper, folded over with the Ministry seal stamped on it.

"What…?" I murmured, bewildered. And then, I had a flashback.

_I flipped the white envelope over (at least there was that; it wasn't a purple envelope) and took a closer look at it. Yes, definitely a Ministry seal. With shaking hands, I extracted the soggy parchment from my porridge bowl and slit it open with the breakfast knife at my side._

_Two things slid out._

_One was a piece of parchment folded over twice._

_The other was a purple envelope._

"Oh!" I exclaimed, hurriedly unfolding it. I scanned the parchment quickly, and immediately thanked my lucky stars.

"What does it say?" Lily asked me.

I read it out to her:

"_Official Ministry of Magic transfer of Guardianship._

_Should this letter remain unreplied to for over seven days, it will be considered null and void._

_If the Ministry is informed otherwise, guardianship of Norah Annalise Payne will pass to Robert Harold Notterdale (biological father)._

_Sincerely, _

_Candice LaFonte,_

_Department of Welfare of Magical Folk_

"To think," I whispered, "How close I came to being put under the responsibility of my _father_."

Lily nodded sympathetically. "Did you find out anything? I mean," she lowered her voice and leaned closer, "about him and Jack Notterdale?"

I stared at her. "Lily, didn't you hear what the letter said?" She looked mystified.

"Here, read it," I said, passing it to her.

"_Official Ministry… null and void…" _she mumbled. "_Informed otherwise… Norah Annalise Payne… Robert Harold… _NOTTERDALE?"

I smiled grimly. "Do you remember me telling you that he ran off with another woman?"

Lily shook her head in horror. "No way."

"Yep," I confirmed. "I have a new half-brother."

"Oh… my God," Lily breathed, sinking back down onto my bed. "That's a lot to take in. Have you talked to Jack? Do you know… you know… what _side_ he's on?"

"He doesn't have the Dark Mark," I assured her. "My dad may be a cheating bastard but he's not evil."

"So have you talked? You and Jack?"

I sat down on the bed next to her. "Yeah. Well. Sort of."

"Meaning?"

"Well, I screamed at him some, and we've kind of made an uneasy truce, although when I stopped screaming at him he decided to play the role of protective older brother and he told me that if anyone ever hurt me, he'd hurt them right back."

"That's sweet!" Lily said excitedly. I stared at her.

"You really do see the good in everyone, don't you?"

Her gaze softened as she locked eyes with me. "You do too, Norah. Why else would you be dating Regulus?"

I scowled. "Fair enough."

Sliding off the bed, she checked the clock at the other end of the room. "Dinner. Coming?"

"Sure," I replied, standing up and slipping on a pair of robes over my Muggle wear.

Again, as we entered the common room, all talk stopped, and more than a few looks of surprise were sent our way. I could almost hear their thougts: _Lily Evans, proud Gryffindor, friends with a Slytherin lover? _

Lily ignored them, taking my hand and pulling me quickly to the portrait hole. She pulled it open… and fell right into the arms of Jack Notterdale.

"Oh, shit!" she exclaimed, jumping away.

"Sorry," he apologised. "I was about to knock."

"Yeah, I wouldn't do that," I advised him. "The Gryffs aren't in a charitable mood."

"I need to talk to you," he said to me, touching my arm. I looked at Lily to make sure she was fine with it.

"Go ahead," she assured me, but before I left she took hold of my arm. "Listen, I think you need to keep this from James and the others for now. They haven't unleashed the full extent of their anger yet, and if they find out that he's your half-brother, they will be beyond furious."

I nodded, trying not to let my emotions show on my face. I couldn't let them see how much it hurt me. I didn't mind Lily and Jack seeing, but I needed the practice, because as I'd already found out, it was very difficult for me to keep my emotions in check when actually faced with my former best friends.

She squeezed my arm before releasing me and wandering off to the Great Hall with a wave.

"How are you holding up?" Jack asked me quietly, beckoning for me to follow him.

"As well as can be expected," I replied. "Where are we going?"

"I have something for you," was his cryptic reply as he pulled me down a flight of stairs and through a tapestry. We came out the other end, entered a narrow corridor and entered the second room on the right.

"…what the hell?" I gasped upon seeing Evan Rosier standing in the room.

"No one molests my sister," Jack murmured to me, before giving Evan a sharp nod.

"I'm sorry," Evan told me, although there wasn't an ounce of sincerity in his words. "It won't happen again." This I believed. Something had obviously changed his mind about sexually harassing me – either he was scared of Jack or he truly was friends with Jack.

"Make sure it doesn't," was my only reply. It'd be a long time before I forgave him for what happened on the Astronomy Tower. He nodded, stepping around me and opening the door.

"Coming, mate?" he asked Jack.

"Give me a minute," was my half-brother's absent-minded reply.

As soon as the door closed, I turned to him. "So what's the deal? Are you two actually friends, or did you threaten him?"

"Actually friends. For now, anyway," he replied. "Friendships are fickle in Slytherin House."

Evan had disappeared, so we set off walking to the Great Hall together.

"What did my father want?" I asked him as we walked.

"Why do you call him that?" he asked curiously.

"What?" I replied, bewildered.

" 'My father'. You never say 'dad', you say 'my father' like it's some kind of disease."

"As far as I'm concerned, he's my father only by DNA. He never… he…" I stammered, trying to find words to explain it. "Look, he fell out of love with my mom. I get it. But what's his excuse for never owling me? Never sending any child support money before mom married David? A _parent_ should never leave a child. Full stop. That's why I don't think of him as a parent."

"Makes sense, I guess," he replied, appearing deep in thought. "Anyway, he asked me to look out for you, because revealing that we're related is bound to cause some trouble."

Taken aback, I stopped and stared at him.

"See, he does care," Jack added.

I didn't know what to say, so instead of awkwardly mumbling something, I asked a question. "Do the Slytherins know?"

"Only a few of them," he replied.

"Regulus?"

"Yeah," he said, avoiding my eyes. I got the sense he was hiding something from me, but I was glad that he had thought to tell Regulus.

"You don't approve," I guessed.

"What's there to approve of? I'm your half-brother who you don't entirely trust. I can't control you and I don't want to."

"Thank you," I told him, grateful for the respect he afforded me.

"You're welcome," he replied, somewhat formally.

Out of nowhere, a hand shot out and yanked me behind a tapestry. I yelped, and as Jack spun around, I caught a look of resignation on his face before he turned away.

A lean, muscular body pressed me up against the wall and I smiled as I recognised the familiar smell. Then he was kissing me, so soft and sweet that I felt like staying there forever, behind the tapestry, as long as I had Regulus.

"I missed you. So much," he breathed.

In reply, I kissed him again, breathing him in. We didn't talk much, just revelling in the feeling of being together again. It seemed like days had passed before I was able to separate myself from him.

"Come on," I urged him, tugging him out from behind the tapestry.

"How are you?" he asked me as I resumed my journey to the Great Hall with him. "You have to tell me _everything_. I was so worried, Norah, when you were gone for over a week and I didn't know _where _you were!"

"I'll tell you everything some other time. It's been a pretty hellish couple of weeks, though." He put his arm around me, holding me close, and chanced a quick kiss after a shufti at the empty corridor.

"And… er… you and Jack," he said after a moment, an odd tone in his voice.

"You don't trust him?" I guessed.

"No," he told me. "It's going to cause a lot of problems for you, though, so I wish it hadn't come out into the open."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I demanded, pulling myself away from him. "First Lily, then Jack, then you? What are you talking about? What do I not know?"

He turned to face me, looking straight at me so that I'd take him seriously. "While you were gone… Sirius… well, he did some serious dirtying of your name. Everyone knows about… you know… you and me now. Most of the school is against you… and well, they were already against me. Potter isn't doing a whole lot but he isn't trying to stop it either. Evans gets angry with him when he tries it, so he stopped. The more idiotic people have even linked you up to the Death Eaters. If people find out that Notterdale is your half-brother, you can bet that you'll be marked a confirmed Death Eater in the minds of most of the student body."

I was silent as I attempted to take this in. I'd known Sirius hated me and I'd known James was angry, but to this extent? It was ridiculous. And immature. I felt my lip curling in subconscious disgust.

The doors of the Great Hall loomed in front of us, and after what Regulus had told me, I was scared shitless of going in.

I reached out a hand, tracing the lines on the aged wood.

"We don't have to go in," Regulus said, looking at me. His grey-blue eyes looked tired and sad, like they'd been through hell and back. Beautiful eyes, but sad eyes.

"We can go to the kitchens," he offered again.

I pursed my lips as I considered it. I could go in, show the school that I wasn't afraid of their criticism and take their shit as apathetically as possible. Or, I could avoid it for today, while at my most emotionally vulnerable, and eat in the privacy of the kitchens with my boyfriend.

Well, if I didn't face it today, I would never have the guts to.

I pushed open the doors and about four hundred pairs of eyes shot to me and Regulus. As the door creaked open, something shuddered and I felt something heavy hurtling towards my head from above. And the next thing I knew, I was covered in green and silver paint, the wooden bucket hitting me on the head hard, making me see stars. I clutched Regulus' arm as I swayed dizzily.

A seventh-year Ravenclaw rose from the table and brushed past, knocking into me with a hiss of, "Slytherin lover."

As more and more people started leaving the Great Hall, I got jostled around, and whispered insults circled around me like a cyclone. "_Slytherin lover." "Traitor." "Sympathiser." _I kept my face as emotionless as I could, standing stock-still in the middle of the tempest.

Then _they_ brushed past me. Not looking at me once, they filed past, avoiding touching me. Without thinking, I reached out, grabbing James' arm. He locked eyes with me for half a second, and I caught anger, hurt and something that may have been remorse. Then the moment was over and he shook himself free, walking away with the familiar group of people I used to call my friends. Remus and Hestia looked torn, but they followed the crowd, walking away from me, walking away from the truth – that James was being an immature little prick. He was, and they damn well knew it, but would they act on it? No. No, they would just watch while he tipped paint on me. Because it had obviously been them – who else would have had the guts and the knowledge to booby-trap the doors specifically for me?

"Potter, what the hell?" a voice demanded.

"I did it for you, Lilyflower!" a sarcastic voice – not James – replied.

"Go to hell," Regulus snapped from beside me.

My head spun, and the voices blurred into a tangled mess.

"Come on," a soft voice urged. A small hand slipped into mine, and I recognised the familiar lavender scent even before I saw the red hair.

Lily tugged me away, out of the Great Hall, and pulled me into the nearest girls' loo. Regulus followed us, his expression torn between worry for me and anger at what his brother had done.

As we neared the doors to the toilets, I heard voices inside talking about what had happened, I pulled Lily to a stop, listening closely.

"They entered the Great Hall together, didn't you see? What more proof do you want?"

"What does it matter? It's House rivalry in a school, for goodness' sake," a second voice replied.

"This isn't just about Slytherin! He could…you know… he could be a Death Eater!"

"She wouldn't be with him if he was."

"How do you know?"

"She got Sorted into Gryffindor for a reason, Lana! Bravery, loyalty, pride? She wouldn't be with him if he were a Death Eater."

"Bravery? Ha. She concealed it from her friends for four months, didn't you hear? The only courage she's got is the courage that keeps her walking around in public when we all know she's an outrageous slut."

That was the last straw for Lily. She burst into the bathroom, pulling her wand on the two girls inside. "Get out," she snapped, pointing to the door.

"We were in here first," said the shorter of the two, obviously Lana. I recognised the other girl, although I didn't know the name. She was a Hufflepuff fifth-year, and we had that hi-hello smiling-in-corridors kind of friendship.

"Yeah?" Lily snarled. "Well I'm in here now, so get the fuck out!"

"But - "

Without seeming to think about it at all, Lily shot a spell at the mirror, shattering it. Looking scandalised, the girls scurried out of the bathroom as fast as they could.

I, personally, was in awe. "That's the first time I've ever heard you cuss," I told her. "It made my day."

She gave me a reluctant grin. "Come here."

Holding my face over the sink, she conjured a wet towel and wiped the paint from my face, neck and arms. Regulus did the same and helped out, conjuring his own towel and cleaning the paint off from the right side of my body, seeming not to care that he was sequestered in the ladies' toilet with two Gryffindor girls.

They Scourgified my robes for me and Lily cast a special cleaning charm on my hair that smoothened and softened it. There was an odd pressure in my chest, like something was lodged in there, and soon I was gasping for breath, trying to get it out. Bending over, I coughed into the sink until my gag reflex came into action and I threw up whatever little food was in my stomach. The acid burned as it came up, bringing tears to my eyes.

"That's right," Lily murmured, stroking my hair. "Get it out." She looked at Regulus. "I'll get her upstairs and feed her something. Don't worry."

"Thanks," he told her, wiping my mouth with the damp towel he still held. He dropped a kiss on my forehead before Vanishing the towel and leaving the bathroom.

Back in our dormitory, Lily managed to feed me some soup. Marlene and Hestia were already asleep, so we had to be very quiet – though neither of us were in the mood for talking anyway. I changed into my nightclothes and made to climb into bed, but Lily stopped me.

"Check under the sheets first," she warned me. Cautiously, I lifted the sheets. Sure enough, dead insects littered the mattress. I sighed.

"Sleep in Alice's bed," Lily offered through a yawn. She looked completely unsurprised by the bugs, and frankly, I wasn't surprised either. Petty pranks? Expected. I was feeling strangely emotionless and numb, but it didn't scare me.

"Get some sleep," I urged her. "I'll be down in the Common Room for a while. No one will be up at this time." I prodded her towards her bed until she sank down on it, exhaustion evident in the lines of her face.

Padding quietly down to the common room, I sat down beside the dying fire in the darkness. The embers glowed brightly in the hearth, looking so full of life that I almost felt guilty for feeling so apathetic. They were beautiful, the orange heat in them glowing with a soft radiance. Tempting. I felt the urge to pick one up and run it across my skin, just to see if it would hurt. It was an irresistible compulsion.

I had reached out, and my fingers were almost in the fire, when his voice rang out across the room.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

I jerked my hand back, snapping out of my trancelike haze. Squinting, I made out strong shoulders, a tangled mess of hair and a familiar Wimbourne Wasps t-shirt.

"You're a fucking asshole," I replied pleasantly, reaching out for the embers again. This time, I made it to my goal.

And it burned, it did. It hurt like hell, but it felt good, because it took away the numbness. I bit my lip in pain, until I felt the blood dripping down my chin, but even though it hurt, I couldn't make myself care.

Suddenly he was across the room, next to me. Rapping the back of my hand so that it involuntarily opened, the glowing coal fell out and he stamped on it until it went out. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, gripping me by the shoulders and shaking me.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked him quietly, a small, humourless smile curving my lips. "What the hell do you think is wrong with me?"

Taking my burnt hand, he examined the ruined skin, grimacing. "I can't do anything about this. You'll have to go the Hospital Wing in the morning."

"Get the hell away from me," I snapped, yanking my hand away. An abrupt flare of anger ripped through me.

"I'm trying to help you," he hissed.

"By dumping a tub of paint on me?" I retorted. "Are you fucking crazy?"

He stared at me, grey eyes absolutely unfathomable.

"I hate you, Sirius Black," I whispered.

He leaned closer, his lips almost touching my ear. "Why do you always hate and love the wrong people, Norah Payne?"

Then he left, and I remained by the fire, staring up at the staircase and trying my best to remember what I was fighting for and why I was fighting for it.

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><p><strong>Coming up: "Love is deaf, blind and is missing a leg. Yeh can' help who yeh fall in love with, Norah, an' that's a lesson ter remember."<strong>

**A/N: GUYS! I just posted my first ever entry to the Twin Exchange monthly challenge and it would mean a lot to me if you went over there on the 20th and voted for me! Please? x If you need a reminder, PM me and I'll remind you when the poll opens. The fic's name is Windy Beginnings****and I'd love if you went over there, checked it out and voted for me on the 20th.**


	16. End of an Era Part I

**Hey guys! I thought I'd post this to sweeten you all up (so hopefully you'll energise yourselves and help accio out?) **

**Sorry it's so short! Did the best I could under the circumstances – EXAMS SUCK! I SWEAR THEY SHOULD BE OUTLAWED!**

**So, just like the Shaken Up chapters, the next few chapters will be… halves of a whole, so to speak. Enjoy!**

**(P.S. You guys should know that I wrote this all in ONE DAY because I felt guilty for putting up the chapter asking you all to vote.)**

**xoxo**

**IMPORTANT!**

**Voting has FINALLY opened at the Twin Exchange forum for their Monthly Challenge and I'd love if you went there and voted for my fic Windy Beginnings. URL is as follows (without the spaces):**

**h t t p: / / forum. fanfiction. net/ topic/ 43642 /7817202 / 1 /**

**PLEASE HELP ME OUT AND VOTE!**

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**Chapter 15 – The End of An Era – Part I**

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><p><strong>Previously: Norah returns to school with Jack with the knowledge that her friends hate her hanging over her. The whole school has found out about her relationship with Regulus and she has been ostracised and bullied to the point of burning herself.<strong>

* * *

><p>"You really <em>are<em> an idiot," Lily griped at me.

I rolled my eyes. "You're a lovely friend, you know?"

"Shut the hell up, Norah!" she snapped at me. "It was a stupid thing to do, and you know it. I'm getting you to Madame Pomfrey if I have to tie you up and drag your sorry arse there myself."

Since Lily can be quite scary with her hexes, I decided to just go with it.

It was a pretty good day, weather-wise. Most students were outside, so the corridors were near-empty and Lily was able to rage at me all the way to the first floor. Regulus emerged from the Entrance Hall as we neared the double doors to the Hospital Wing, and fell into step beside us.

"Where are you two off to?" he wanted to know. I sent a tight-lipped look at Lily, warning her silently not to say anything, but she steamrollered on.

"This _stupid bitch - _" I gasped in shock; I rarely heard her cuss with such passion, " – went and burnt herself with a coal."

Regulus pulled us to a stop, turning me to face him. "Deliberately?" he asked me seriously, searching my face.

I kept my lips pressed firmly together, sullenly avoiding his eyes. He tilted my chin up until I couldn't avoid it anymore and asked me again. "Did you do it deliberately?"

Lily opened her mouth to answer but he held up a hand, hushing her.

Regulus, apparently taking my silence for confirmation, looked horrified. "_Why_?"

I still didn't want to talk so Lily answered for me again. "She was feeling depressed about the whole situation with her friends. Also, I think S-Sirius talked to her," she stuttered over his name, her face going red as Regulus fixed his eyes on her at his brother's name. I almost smiled. The first time he'd fixed me with that stare, I'd felt like running away too.

"Sirius made you do this?" he asked roughly, his fingers digging painfully into my hips. I was reminded forcibly of the time Sirius had done the same thing back in Potter Manor.

"N-no," I stammered. "He tried to stop me." His grip loosened, but immediately tightened again.

"He didn't take you to the Hospital Wing?" he asked, wincing as he examined my burnt hand. It was pretty disgusting as burns went, and it hurt like a bitch, but I was doing my best to ignore it.

"It was past midnight," I argued, defending Sirius for some unknown reason.

He continued to look at the burn, grimacing in revulsion but continuing to examine it anyway. "Do you have a Healer's qualification that I don't know about?" Lily growled. "Hospital Wing… now."

"This is absolutely disgusting," Regulus said distastefully. I rolled my eyes for the second time in five minutes, although it was true. The skin around the burn was bubbled and blistered and the actual burn… it had gone through several layers of skin and actually bled a bit, but the edges were a dark reddish-brown, raised and puffy and the area around the blisters was a deep, angry pink. All in all, it looked like a disgusting hole in my palm. The pain was spiking and I winced too.

"Then let it _go_," I snapped. "It hurts."

Lily scowled at me and opened her mouth. I could almost hear what she was about to say: _Well, that's the consequence of burning yourself!_

"Don't start, Lily," I sighed tiredly. She'd been griping at me continuously for the last three hours.

Regulus dropped my hand, an abjectly violent expression flitting across his face for the briefest second before concern replaced it. "I have to go. Take care," he whispered, brushing a kiss to my cheek. He left quickly, green Quidditch robes swishing behind him. I stared after him worriedly, wondering if he was about to do something stupid.

"Don't worry about him, worry about _you_," Lily urged, grabbing my arm and tugging me into the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey came out, fussed over my hand, I dutifully made up a lie about falling asleep near a candle and she fixed the burn right up. A cool feeling settled into my palm, and the skin knitted back into what it used to be, leaving no remnants of the ugly burn behind.

Still, I couldn't stop fretting about the look on Regulus' face as he'd left. Why was I getting such a bad feeling about this?

Now that I was healed, Lily was back to being a ray of sunshine and she linked her arm with mine, pulling me to the Entrance Hall. "What d'you want to do now?"

The little hut at the edge of the Forest caught my eye. "Hagrid?" I asked her.

She looked excited. "Absolutely! I haven't been there in forever!"

I grinned as Hagrid stumped out of the trees and entered his hut. Fang's excitable barking could be heard from all the way across the grounds. "Let's go."

As we were passing the Black Lake (and I was studiously ignoring the jeering students), someone stepped up in front of us. I winced automatically, waiting for the verdict.

Piper Zabini delivered. "How's it going, whore? I bet you're enjoying your newfound popularity, even if it isn't exactly _positive_. Because you're just a little attention-seeker, aren't you?" As this got no reaction, she upped the ante. "How's it feel knowing you have _two_ Slytherins in your life?" Her face darkened. "Actually, you don't deserve them. Either of them. Stupid half-blood bint."

Keeping my face blank, I sidestepped her and kept walking.

"Did Regulus tell you about the nights he spent in my arms?" she taunted.

Blood boiled in my veins and I spun around, reaching for her disgustingly pretty face so that I could disfigure it a little. I was screeching horrible things at Zabini, who looked a little shocked, but before I could do any real harm, an arm wrapped around my waist and dragged me back.

"What?" I yelled at Jack.

"It won't do you any good to do that," he warned me. "Let it go."

I stared at my half-brother disbelievingly, but he was unrelenting. "Let it _go_," he urged, prodding me in the back until I moved. "I'll see you later."

Lily scuttled forward to catch up with me and behind us, Zabini started screeching. "You little slut! Don't you _dare_ walk away from me!"

Lily half-turned, still walking. As it happened, it was good that she did, because two seconds later, she screamed out, "_Protego!_" and half-frightened me to death.

I heard the customary _whoosh_ of a spell being bounced off and turned around just in time to catch Zabini shrieking and trying to claw her own eyes out.

"What - " I began, shocked.

"Itchy Eyes curse," Lily muttered. "Advanced Dark Magic. Most people end up literally clawing their own eyeballs out like she's trying to do." She looked back at Zabini one more time, watching as a group of Slytherins descended on her and helped her up. "C'mon," she said at last, turning back around and striding forward. I followed her meekly, scared by her heavy tone. Remorseful Lily was a new one.

_Thud, thud, thud._ Lily pounded on the door of Hagrid's hut. "Hagrid, it's us!" she shouted, and soon the door was pulled open.

"Well, hello!" Hagrid grinned. "It's bin some time since yeh two came ter see me! Too busy for ol' Hagrid now, eh?"

He was too cheerful, and I was sure he was trying his best to avoid the topic of my estrangement from James and the others.

"Not at all!" Lily exclaimed, stepping quickly over the threshold. Hagrid gave her what looked like a bone-crushing hug before yanking me into the hut and giving me one too.

"Can't – breathe – Hagrid!" I gasped out, the side of my face pressed into his giant checked shirt. He chuckled, letting me down, and set a plate of rock cakes on the table. I took one, just because I missed Hagrid's horrible cooking.

"So," he said after a couple of moments of silence, his curiosity getting the better of him. "How are yeh girls?"

"We're - " Lily began, shooting a look at me, " – not so good, Hagrid."

"Yeah, I heard about all the drama goin' on up at the castle. James has been down here quite a few times sharin' his woes," he said with a meaningful look at me. I sighed.

"And are you angry with me about it?" I asked him, hoping against hope that he wasn't.

He sighed, taking up the kettle from its hook at filling it up with water. "Love is deaf, blind and missing a leg. Yeh can' help who yeh fall in love with, Norah, an' that's a lesson ter remember. I told James the same thing, but the boy's as stubborn as a mule. Wouldn' listen."

"Yeah, that's James," Lily and I sighed at the same time.

By unspoken agreement, we dropped the topic and talked about other things, namely my situation at home and the newfound relationship with Jack.

"How d'yeh feel about it?" Hagrid wanted to know.

"About having a half-brother?" I asked him. "It still feels… odd. And I don't completely trust him. Not yet. But it's good to have someone else on my side. I'm just really, really angry with my da - "

"Norah Payne?" someone gasped out, breathing heavily like they're been running. I spun around to see a third-year Hufflepuff at the window of the hut.

"Yeah?" I asked, my heart leaping into my throat.

"They're asking for you at the castle. Dumbledore's office. They told me to tell you… they told me to tell you that your dad's here."

_And I thought things couldn't get any worse._

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><p><strong>I might just keep uploading short chapters for a while, if that's what you guys want! Leave me a review and let me know!<strong>

**NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP IN THE NEXT TWO DAYS since I'm keeping it short. (:**

**Also, there is a POLL up on my profile! Please go and vote! I'll close the poll with my next update and post the results here, and then we'll do some really FUN polls! (Who is hotter: Draco/Sirius? type of thing)**


	17. End of an Era Part II

**A/N: So it wasn't exactly "a couple of days", but hey, it's up, so don't complain! It's a little rushed, obviously, because I don't have all that much time for writing at the moment, but hopefully it's not too terrible. After exams, I'm probably going to go back and edit all of these chapters, touch them up, fill them out. Anyway, hope you like!**

**Also, for those of you who voted for me at the Twin Exchange forum - thank you so much. It means a lot. Voting has closed and I came in third place with 8 votes, which I guess is better than nothing, but is still a teensy bit depressing. FOr those of you who didn't vote, GO TO HE - no, I'm joking! If I'd been in your shoes I may not have voted, either. Sometimes there's just no TIME for this kind of stuff, so I completely understand if you didn't read/vote. **

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><p><strong>Previously: Norah's going to the Hospital Wing to fix her burn when she runs into Regulus, who <em>definitely<em> looks like he's up to no good. And just when they're in the middle of a somewhat relaxing afternoon with Hagrid, an unexpected visitor is announced – her father.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17 – End of an Era Part II<strong>

"Any change?" David asked as he entered the room, brown paper bag in hand. I sighed as I roused myself, blinking sleep from my eyes. He passed me a steak salad sandwich and a cup of coffee, settling down on the other side of the bed and starting in on his own meal.

I looked at my mother, at the swirl of her dark hair across the pillow, and her eyelids, almost translucent, ivory shot through with pale veins.

My appetite was pretty much impossible to constrain, so I dug into my steak sandwich, stuffing it down in huge mouthfuls because _hey,_ I was hungry!

"No change," I told him, looking down at my thin, unnaturally pale mother.

The door clicked open behind me, and a Healer entered, bearing a tray of tea, toast and jam.

"Dear me, you both are still here?" she asked in shock, setting the tray down on the side table. She began to make chivvying motions as I took the first sip of my coffee.

"Pneumonia patients don't recover overnight, you know," she said sternly, yanking me up by the scruff of my robes. Half my coffee spilled over my chest, but she didn't seem to notice or care.

"How come he gets to stay?" I protested, pointing at David.

"He doesn't!" the woman exclaimed with a glower at him. He took the hint and stood up, dropping a kiss on my mom's forehead before following me out.

We Flooed home and went about turning on lights in complete silence, just as we'd done for the last two days. I got to the kitchen first, and was met by a regal black owl sitting on the table. It looked at me reproachfully, clacking its beak, so I dug around for some leftover bacon in the fridge and fed it before untying the letters from its leg.

The first one was from Lily.

_Dear Norah,_

_There have been wild rumours going around about why you've left school – you know, the usual, Regulus got you knocked up, your father withdrew you when he found out about your relationship, that usual crap. _

_I don't know what's going on either and I can only assume it's something to do with your mum, am I right? If my suspicions are correct, then please send her my get-well wishes. _

_Alice came back to Hogwarts today. I cornered her before anyone else could and told her the full story, so there's another person on your side when you come back to school! _

_I sent this with Regulus' owl because we ran into each other in the Owlery. He misses you. Jack's been going around looking moody too. _

_Love,_

_Lily_

I smiled and set it aside, wanting to read Regulus' letter first.

_Dear Norah,_

_This is going to be a very short letter because I don't have much time, but there's something I really need to talk to you about when you get back to Hogwarts, and I need you to not be angry with me, at least until you hear me out. _

_I miss you. Please come back soon._

_Regulus_

It was good to know that he missed me, but I frowned. What could be so important that he thought I'd get angry about it?

I decided to only reply to Lily's and reserve judgement as to whether or not to reply to Regulus'.

_Dear Lily,_

_You're right, it is about my mum. Her sickness was worse than we thought it was. It sort of branched out into this rare kind of pneumonia that paralyses the limbs one by one. It could be fatal, so they were trying to stabilise it and trap it in one limb so that they could draw it out easily. They finally managed to trap it last night – so I'm coming home tomorrow. _

_I'm worried about Regulus. I'm getting this feeling that he's about to do something bad. Can you keep an eye on him for me? _

_See you soon._

_Love,_

_Norah_

Satisfied, I sealed the envelope and tied it to the leg of Hera, David's owl.

"Have you packed?" David asked me, coming in from the living room with his coffee cup. He looked strained.

"I packed," I assured him.

"Want more food?" he asked distractedly. "Was the steak sandwich too little? I can make something, I think…"

"Hey," I said firmly, stilling his hand on the door of the fridge. "I'm fine. I'm full. Relax."

He inhaled, removing his hand from the fridge door. He'd always been the fun stepfather and my mother had taken care of Ben and I. The parenting thing was odd for him, and with the added stress of my mom being ill, it went into overdrive.

"Do you need food?" I asked him.

"Uh… owl," he said distractedly, forgetting the question. He was pointing behind me and indeed, an owl was hovering outside. Surely not Hera back so soon?

I opened the window and it flew inside, dropping its letter on top of the microwave. It wasn't Hera, and it wasn't Regulus' regal owl either. In fact, it looked like a regular school owl…

Deciding to just get it over with, I picked up the letter and examined the envelope. The parchment had my name on it, but that was about it. Taking up a knife from the drawer, I slit the envelope open and a single piece of paper fell out.

_We need to talk._

_Sirius Orion Black_

I felt like I'd just been hit on the head with a tire iron. What on earth did Sirius of all people want to talk to me about? I examined his name – Sirius Orion Black. S. O. B.

_SOB indeed, _I thought grimly. Son-of-a-bitch obviously thought his very cryptic letter would arouse my curiosity enough for me to talk to him.

Hah, no.

I crumpled the letter up and threw it out the window while David looked on in obvious mystification. I was in no mood to explain, though, so I stumped past him and upstairs, slamming the door to my room.

As I slipped into my favourite old pyjamas, my brain just wouldn't shut up. _Why do you even want to go back to Hogwarts? What's waiting for you there?_

True. Most of my friends had abandoned me.

Lily. Regulus. And, well, Jack, to an extent though I still didn't trust and hadn't forgiven him. Oh, and Alice, I remembered.

Five minutes later, I heard the downstairs lamp turn off with a click and David's footsteps on the stairs. He paused outside my room, but didn't come in, and a moment later I heard his footsteps resume and then the master bedroom door closing.

I was tired of worrying. It seemed like worrying was all I did these days. Worrying about my deteriorating mental health, worrying about my friends, worrying about my questionable social status (if being treated like a leper could be called status at all), and above all, worrying about my mother. Things hadn't been right with her for a while now and I just wanted her to be _better_ so that I could stop worrying about her. One thing off my plate.

A selfish desire, then, but I wasn't in control of what I wanted.

And if what I wanted was some goddamn _peace_, then the rest of the world – including one Sirius Orion Black - would just have to suck it.

The next day dawned bright and _fricking freezing, _as if I needed another reminder that summer was definitely over.

Teeth chattering, I pulled on an extra jumper underneath my robes and Levitated my trunk down the stairs. David was waiting there, holding out a hand to me.

"Ready?" he asked me. "Brace yourself."

I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting. David spun on the spot and suddenly I was being squeezed through a tube, my eyes were being popped out of their sockets, my temples were being pushed to opposite sides of my skull…

And abruptly, it stopped. "Here we are," David told me. Opening my eyes, Hogwarts' towering entrance gates greeted me.

It didn't feel like home, though. It wouldn't until things were alright with James and the others.

I turned to David. "Take care of her," I begged, feeling suddenly sick, and horribly, desperately afraid.

"I will," he said, looking taken aback. I gripped the front of his shirt urgently, wanting to be sure that he got the message. He gently dislodged my fingers, keeping hold of my hands. "I will, Norah," he said, looking me in the eye. "I promise."

"I can't lose anyone else," I told him, my breath hitching and a familiar stinging in the corners of my eyes.

"You won't lose her," he promised me, raw determination in his face. "I won't allow it. Do you hear me?" he asked roughly. "You won't lose your mother."

I breathed in slowly, willing the irrational panic to dissipate.

"Okay," I said slowly. "Alright. Bye, David… and thank you."

"See you at Christmas?" he asked me, giving me a hug.

I looked back up at the castle, and the storm clouds overhead. "I dunno." I looked back at David. "Guess I'll tell you in a couple of months."

Someone was coming down from the castle to open the gate for me. My spirits lifted slightly when I recognised Hagrid's bulky frame, but I couldn't shake the bad feeling I'd had since I'd last seen Regulus.

"Have a good year," David told me.

"Take care," I whispered in reply as Hagrid reached the gates. He unlocked them for me and I entered, not really paying attention to Hagrid's chatter. I think he knew I wasn't listening, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Leave yer bags here, then," Hagrid told me as we reached the Entrance Hall. "Someone'll take 'em up."

"Right," I murmured distractedly. My attention was drawn by a familiar figure standing at the foot of the marble staircase. Lips curling in distaste, I turned right, wanting to avoid Sirius Black at all costs, but his footsteps pattered across the stone to me and he yanked me further down the corridor before shoving me into a broom closet and locking the door.

"What are you doing? I wanted to talk to you."

I was slightly dazed, and couldn't get the words out fast enough, couldn't explain that not only had I only been back for about five seconds, I didn't want to talk to him anyway – but it's not as if he'd care, I reminded myself.

"Listen to me," he breathed. He was very close, and I could feel his shaggy fringe tickling my cheeks. "Listen!" he said, shaking me roughly. "He's a Death Eater, Norah," he said harshly.

The world, which up till that point had been spinning, seemed to abruptly jolt into place.

"He's a Death Eater," Sirius repeated. "He's got the Mark."

There was no need to ask who he was talking about. Why else would he drag me into a broom closet?

"Are you hearing me?" he said loudly, almost shouting. "Do you understand?"

He was too close, too close. For a second I'd felt the brush of his lips against the corner of my mouth. I pushed him away, feeling claustrophobic and _trapped_, and shoved the door of the closet open, running into the corridor and sinking back against the wall.

_Regulus… my Regulus…_

"Snap out of it," Sirius was telling me angrily. He gripped my face, gently, but his face was tortured, as if there were some meaning behind his words that I was unable to understand. It frustrated him.

_This is going to be a very short letter because I don't have much time, but there's something I really need to talk to you about when you get back to Hogwarts, and I need you to not be angry with me, at least until you hear me out._

Hadn't that been Regulus' request?

But how could I trust him anymore?

"Norah! Sirius!" someone shouted. It was Lily, and she ran faster than I'd ever seen her run. It was her face which made me feel like I should be concerned, but the world was spinning and roaring around me again, and only Lily's words brought it to a halt again.

"It's James. He's in the Hospital Wing."

Sirius looked at me, and Lily looked at me. I knew what they were thinking, because I was thinking it too.

And then Lily confirmed it. "Sectumsempra spell, cast by Regulus Black."

_Oh Regulus. What have you done?_

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><p><strong>Coming up: "This doesn't change anything. It doesn't change anything at all."<strong>

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><p><strong>Please <span>Review!<span>**

**P. S. I was reading this story (yes, my own story) from my phone, and cringing in horror at the first couple of chapters - I'll be revamping them after exams, I think. I re-read this chapter too, and the writing style is loads better, even if I do say so myself.**

**P. P. S. I don't want to seem like the most horribly incompetent and devoid-of-creativity author EVER, but I'd love to hear if any of you have any idea how this story is going to end, because I myself haven't worked past Sirius and Norah getting together. **

**P. P. P. S. **** There wasn't exactly an... overwhelming response to the poll on my profile. For those of you who just didn't care to read when I announced it, it was "Who should Marlene end up with?" and okay, it wasn't the most riveting poll but I felt I should give you guys the reins this time. But anyway, Jack won with a _stunning_ TWO VOTES, and now a NEW POLL is up on my profile - Who is the hottest male character _at Hogwarts_? PLEASE DO GO VOTE IF YOU'RE INTERESTED. :)**


	18. End of an Era Part III

**Hey guys!**

**Here's one to make up for all the crappy ones in between (lol). I hope you enjoy it, because I enjoyed writing it, it was very heartbreaking.**

**Thanks a lot to my beta-ish-person, Saloni, who read and ok'ed it. :D I laav you.**

**Oh and before I forget, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all the readers who reviewed those crappy in-between chappies! I didn't expect a good response and it was VERY heartening to receive six or more reviews on them. Thanks a lot, and this chapter chapter goes out to all of you!**

**Also, POLL RESULTS: Fred Weasley and Draco Malfoy tied at the top, with George Weasley and Blaise Zabini tied in second place! Aww poor George. And poor the rest of them! I don't have another poll up yet because I don't think anyone really is interested enough to vote, BUT, if you want another poll please include it in your reply, and even an idea for it if you want. If I get enough requests I'll set one up! **

**Enjoy! And remember to ****READ AND REVIEW!**

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><p><strong>Previously: Norah's gone home (again) because her mom's gotten sick (again!) and when she gets back to Hogwarts, she walks right into a nightmare. Regulus, a Death Eater? Regulus, almost fatally wounding James? Can it all be true?<strong>

**Chapter 18 – The End of an Era (Part III)**

**Sirius**

Deathly silence didn't even cover it.

Not only was it silent in the Hospital Wing, it was tense, and I mean F-U-C-K-I-N-G tense.

I supposed I only had myself to blame. Spilling the beans on Norah Payne royally fucked things up. She'd probably never forgive me. Didn't look like James would forgive her any time soon either, but we all knew James. He was a sheep in wolf's clothing.

I looked at her, though, and I knew she'd forgotten what James was really like in light of the way he was treating her.

She was asleep in a chair beside the bed, her mouth slightly open as she slept. Her long, dark hair was falling across her face but I could still make out the dark circles underneath her eyes.

Sure, I felt a twinge of guilt. Maybe even more than a _twinge_. But Sirius Black didn't apologise often, especially not to people who deserved what they were getting.

_Did she really deserve it, though?_

I shook the thoughts off. Never mind.

Madame Pomfrey bustled up to take a look. She tsked, lifting the blankets to peer at the mess of healing cuts over James' torso. "Dear me," she murmured. "Maybe a stronger dose…"

"Is that safe?" Lily asked her from her position beside the bed. She had been here all day too, like Remus, Norah, Marlene and I. I had no idea where Peter had gotten off to – knowing him, he was probably looking for us. James. Only he could bring our distressed little group together. Maybe _not_ under the best of circumstances, though.

"Safer than letting these cuts heal naturally," Pomfrey replied. She prodded one with her wand and James twitched in his sleep. Norah stirred at the same time, opening her eyes and sitting up stiffly.

"How long have I been out? What did I miss?" she asked blearily, rubbing her eyes.

"Not long. They're giving him a stronger dose," Lily replied. She seemed oddly distant, and I realised that maybe she felt more for James than she let on. I had to grin at that. He'd be a happy man when he woke up.

Norah stretched, vertebrae in her back cracking. "We've been here all day," she noted, watching the rays of orange sunset filter through the thin curtains.

Beside me, Remus' stomach growled audibly. Norah met his eyes. "I'll get some food for all of us." He smiled slightly, looking pale and drawn. His time of the month was coming up soon, I remembered. I knew it was hard on Moony, but I was actually looking forward to it. I hadn't changed into Padfoot for a long time.

A chair pushed back, legs screeching across the stone floor. I winced, and so did Moony. Animal senses acting up. "Sorry," she murmured to him as she stood up. She'd been ignoring me since I'd cornered her in the halls (even I had to admit that that had been a dick move on my part since now she had to deal with an evil boyfriend and a wounded best friend) – not that there had been many opportunities to talk while huddled around James' sick bed.

"What does everyone want?" she asked, falsely cheerful, as if trying her best to forget that four of the people around her, including the guy in the bed, had been ostracising her for the past – well, three weeks, if you were to count her time at home.

"Anything is fine," Remus, Marlene and Lily murmured sleepily. I didn't say anything, wanting her to specifically ask me.

"Sirius?" she asked, looking at James as she said it.

I stood up. "I'll go with you," I told her. She recoiled, putting a hand on the back of Lily's chair.

"Why?" she asked guardedly.

I shrugged. "I feel like it."

She glowered at me, but turned and strode out. I got the feeling she'd been trying to hold back an angry retort.

"Pads," Remus warned. I looked back at him. "Don't rile her up anymore."

"Why?" I challenged him. I half expected Lily to chastise me, but she was focused on James.

"Because she's been through a lot lately," Marlene told me. This surprised me. She'd been ignoring me since the New –School-Years' incident. Hey, I was drunk. And what was she going to do, get married to the guy but keep shagging me on the side?

"Right, because the two of you have been on the Support-Norah bandwagon over the past two weeks, have you?" They both looked guilty, but didn't say anything. "That's what I thought," I said smugly. "Now, if you'll excuse me…"

When I got out into the corridor, Norah was nowhere to be seen. Unsurprising. But I spotted the edge of her robes whipping out of sight at the end of the hallway and followed her, running to catch up.

"What do you want?" she snapped at me. She could probably feel the smugness radiating from me.

I smiled sweetly. "To help you carry the food back to the Hospital Wing, of course."

She turned a corner sharply, her long hair flying around and coming close to whipping me in the face. "There are House Elves to do that. I don't need you, so get lost."

I kept following her. I didn't know what it was that made me want to hurt her, but I let the words spill from my mouth without thinking about it. "Didn't I tell you? Do you believe me _now_, now that he's put your best friend in the Hospital Wing?" I asked her.

She stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. "I'll ask you again," she said tightly. "What the hell do you want?"

I grabbed her elbow, turning her to face me. She wasn't crying, but she had bit her lip so hard that it was bleeding. A drop of blood welled at the edge of the cut and slid down over her chin. "I'm trying to tell you that as good as my brother may seem, he's not a good person." I was almost mesmerised by the bright red droplet of blood, and I reached up and wiped it away, wiping my hand on my robes. She flinched at my touch, her eyes narrowing in anger.

"Right, and you're the authority on who's good or not? If I remember right, you broke up my relationship, you snarked and snarled at me for the better part of six years, you ruined my best friend's relationship and you told James about my thing with Regulus in the most awful manner possible. As far as I'm concerned, the entirety of our relationship has been one big unprovoked attack, which is why whatever you tell me about your brother stands about _this tall - _" she showed me a small space between her thumb and index finger " – when it comes to my priorities." Her grey eyes, so much like mine, flashed fire for a moment before she turned on her heel and continued on down the corridor, twisting her elbow out of my grasp with a sharp yank.

I ran to catch up with her, walking a step behind her purely to irritate her.

"Sirius!" she snapped, losing her temper. "Why don't you go play with a Chimaera?" I rolled my eyes at that one. She spun around and poked me hard in the chest.

"What is it that makes you follow me around, looking for ways to insult and mock me? That's the common schoolyard mentality of boys annoying the girls they fancy, but I hardly think it applies to you. You hate me, and I hate you even more, so what do you _want_?"

I was taken aback. "I – nothing," I muttered. Yes, we did hate each other, but I'd never thought of it like that. Hate was pretty much a foreign word. Men didn't use it much. And I wasn't about to tell her the real reason I'd screwed up her relationship in fourth year – it wasn't because of Regulus, because we'd been on good terms back then.

"Then _stay away from me_!" she shouted, her voice echoing up the corridor. I shied back despite myself, because for some reason I was still feeling guilty. I backed off further when her wand appeared in her hand – I guessed she'd been hiding it up her sleeve.

"You'll be okay?" I asked as I backed away. I didn't know why I asked. I felt like I owed it to her, I guess. She was completely taken aback, her jaw going slack in shock.

"Y-yeah," she muttered after a while. She turned her back and almost ran down the corridor, not looking back.

I ran a hand through my hair, not sure why I was so frustrated.

Why was everything going wrong?

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><p><strong>Norah<strong>

To hell with Sirius and his ridiculous mood swings.

I stomped off down the corridor without looking back, afraid of what I'd see there. Sirius was much easier to deal with when he was being an annoying prick. I was definitely not equipped for dealing for Civil Sirius.

The door opened when I tickled the pear and I stormed into the kitchen, probably scaring the pillow-cases off the dozen or so House Elves assembled there. Three of them immediately scuttled up to me. "Is you wanting something, Miss?" one of them asked.

"Um," I said distractedly as I gathered my thoughts. I'd been on autopilot all the way there, and I'd almost forgotten my original purpose. "Food for five people… spaghetti, bread, maybe a salad?"

Five of the elves darted off to the stove. "And for drink, Miss?" the same elf asked me.

"Pumpkin juice, I suppose. And water. A pitcher of both, and five glasses please."

"The food wills be taking fifteen minutes, Miss," the elf told me. I nodded.

"That's fine." Sitting down at one of the tables, I idly traced the carvings in the wood. Two pitchers were deposited in front of me, but the spaghetti had yet to come so I amused myself by Levitating the pitchers with my wand.

Behind me, I heard the door click open. I glanced back to see who it was – and did a double take. _Great_. Possibly the last person I wanted to deal with. The pitcher I'd been Levitating fell to the floor as I lost concentration, breaking with a loud smash and spilling pumpkin juice everywhere. I murmured an apology, fixing the pitcher with a nonverbal _Reparo_ and a couple of the elves scurried to refill it.

The jug was fixed, but I still had to deal with the cat amongst the pigeons, Regulus Black himself. The crash had startled him, alerting him to another presence in the room.

"Norah!" he gasped, the cloak he'd been unfastening falling to the floor.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Right. You have some explaining to do."

Immediately, his look of welcome changed to one of wariness. "I had no choice, Norah…" he said warningly.

"Right," I replied with a sarcastic laugh. "You had no choice. Really?"

"I swear it! If there was another way, I would've taken it."

"What was the need to do that? Why take any way at all?" I was beginning to see red. If there had been another way? Another way to what? Hurt people? "Why… why would you _do_ that? You know how much he meant to me."

"I – _what_?" Regulus asked, obviously bewildered.

"You didn't _need_ to hurt James on my behalf!" I snapped at him. "Firstly, no matter how he's been treating me, he's still my best friend. And secondly, I can take care of my - "

"Wait," he interrupted. I glowered at him. "That's what this is about?"

"Well – yes," I said, floundering. "What else would I be talking about?"

Abruptly, his surprised turned to a deep scowl. He strode over to me, backing me up against the table. "This, Norah, _this_," he said angrily, ripping his sleeve up. As he revealed it, the hatred and fear that the mark induced was so strong, it had me jerking back against the hard wood of the table. I didn't know what it was, but I knew what it represented: the Death Eaters. Voldemort's order. His eyes tightened at the corners at my reaction and I pushed him away, abruptly furious.

"You think I _care_ about that? If I wasn't one hundred percent sure of your goodness, then trust me, I wouldn't be dating you."

His face blanked in shock. "What? You don't care that he's marked me as one of his followers?"

I looked at him sadly. "We both knew it would happen eventually." He smiled the same sad smile, and I knew he was remembering the same conversation.

"_Mother wants me to get the Dark Mark," Regulus said quietly, brushing hair from my face._

_I turned in his arms. "What? I didn't know your family supported him." _

"_We don't," Regulus said grimly. "Not openly, anyway, but she mentioned that I owed her a life debt. She was close to killing Sirius that day… I stopped her. This is the price I pay. If we curry favour with the Dark Lord, our family will reap great rewards, she says."_

"_Don't. Please don't," I whispered._

_He looked down at me with a hint of amusement. "You say that like you think I have a choice in the matter." _

"You really don't mind?" he asked me, looking hopeful. But my anger was surging to the surface again, fiery and seething.

"You're _not_ off the hook," I snapped. "There was a need to almost kill James, was there?"

He immediately became contrite. "Norah – no – I didn't - "

"You didn't _what_? You didn't use Sectumsempra on James? Really? Then explain why his upper body is covered in scars from your curse. Explain why you've been put in detention for three months." I punctuated each word with a jab to his chest.

"I didn't mean to - "

"You didn't mean to _what_?" I demanded. "Kill him? Then why use _that_ curse? Why, Regulus?"

He flinched at the sound of his own name, but held his ground. The anger hadn't abated, but now a new emotion was welling up: betrayal. I honestly couldn't _fathom_ how he could do this to me. I'd chosen him because I'd seen him as mature, clear-headed, able to take care of me without getting overprotective – stable, a clear constant in a world that was blurring into chaos. It was ironic, I thought, wryly, that both Black brothers could cause me so much trouble but in entirely different ways. My head was spinning – so many things had gone wrong in the space of three weeks that I wasn't sure whether it was real life or just a horrible dream that I couldn't wake up from.

I hadn't fallen out of love with Regulus. Not yet. But with a sinking feeling, I realised that if I let this go, it was goodbye to any chance of a reunion with James. James, who had stood by me for the past six years, versus Regulus, who had let things fall apart in fourth year because of some idle rumours spread by Sirius.

But Regulus had stood by me during the most trying time of my life – now – where James had abandoned me.

Given my way, I would have kept both of them. But in a world at war, you only had one choice, and it was often the most difficult one to make.

I knew who I had to keep, and who I had to let go.

I stared at him, trying not to let the turmoil in my head show up on my face. "Well?" I asked shakily, my voice trembling.

"Well what?" he whispered, his eyes blank, as if he knew what was coming.

"_Well what_?" I demanded. "He could have _died_!"

"And so what?" he sneered. "It wouldn't have been a great loss."

I gaped at him, utterly winded by how horrible he was acting. "What the hell gives you the right to attack someone with a curse like that?"

"If someone hit me with something like that, would you be this angry?" he challenged me.

"No, I would hunt them down and hex them into next week!" I shouted, irritated beyond measure. "And you're bloody well lucky that I'm not doing the same to you!"

"I just hexed your _best friend_ into next week!" he roared, sounding like he, too, was at the end of his tether. "Why can't you condone something you yourself would do?" He sounded suspiciously like he was implying that I'd cheated on him, but I had bigger fish to fry.

"_Because I wouldn't be aiming to kill!" _I shrieked at him, shoving him violently backwards. A couple of pans clanged behind me, and without looking I knew that the House Elves were upset.

His eyes were tight in anger, the corners of his lips drawn down in a dissatisfied frown. He stepped towards me, eliminating the bit of space I'd created by shoving him back. "Why do you care so much? He's been treating you like shit!"

"Not without reason!"

"_Not without reason_?" he repeated in disbelief. "He was treating you like a pariah for being with ME!"

I wanted to scream, cry and tear my hair out all the same time. I stepped up even closer to him, near enough to feel his tense muscles lined up against mine. A small part of my mind whispered this this was a bad idea, that was unbalanced and could hurt me, but the anger outweighed the voice of reason, squashing it with such efficiency that it was as if it had never existed.

"Firstly," I said quietly, "Not everything is about you, and me dating you is a small part of a wide nexus that encompasses more than just us." My fingers traced up his abdomen to his heart, and I heard his heartbeat accelerating underneath them. "I don't like what you're implying – that I ever did anything with James while dating you. What part of '_I have a cheating bastard for a father' _was unclear to you?" He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "_Secondly_, let's think about what you've done. You've joined the ranks of the Death Eaters. You almost killed my best friend. And frankly, Regulus, you're acting like a dick right now. Give me _one_ reason why I shouldn't dump your arse here and now. Because you're making me think that maybe James was right about you."

I felt it, felt him freeze as he processed my words. His breath hitched on what might have been a sob, but then his hands encircled my upper arms, the fingers curling around my arm to meet each other. It wasn't painful, not yet, but it was uncomfortable. Chancing a glance up at his face, I saw that his hair was falling into his face, but the dark locks couldn't conceal his flashing eyes – gleaming with – anger? Hurt?

"Tell me why you hurt James," I whispered. His grip tightened infinitesimally before loosening again. Moving my hands up, I cupped his face between my palms. "Tell me!"

His teeth gritted together audibly. "You don't want to know."

I was taken aback. So there was a different reason? I paused, and he looked up, hoping that I'd given in. I stared back, letting him know in no uncertain terms that this argument was _not_ over.

"I think I _do_ want to know, actually," I said pleasantly.

"Let it go," he snarled, his grip tightening. It was becoming painful, but I knew I wasn't strong enough to push him away anyway.

"I _can't_!" I exclaimed, biting my lips against the fresh flood of tears that I could feel welling in my eyes. "I can't let it go! If I could let this go, I would have, but…"

He, too, was biting his lip, but in indecision, not as a defence mechanism. "Please tell me," I whispered. His hold on my arms was _very_ painful now, and definitely would leave a bruise, but I held my winces back, focusing on my goal.

"You don't want to hear it," he muttered.

I scowled. "If I didn't want to hear it, I wouldn't have _asked_." I couldn't stop a single tear from rolling over my cheek. "I'm searching _so_ hard for a reason to stay with you, Regulus. Please give me that reason."

"I can't!" he shouted, shaking me. "I can't, okay? I can't give you that reason, because even though I love you enough to know I'm too dangerous for you, I know that if I tell you, it's over for good."

He let go of me abruptly, and blood rushed to my upper arms, an unpleasant, prickly sensation. Before I could say anything, he was kissing me, and there was a salty taste on my tongue that I realised wasn't due to _my_ tears, it was due to _his_. His hands tangled into my hair and pulled me closer, lips ferociously pulling at mine, and with sharp, bitter pang I realised the meaning behind this kiss.

It was our last.

He pulled away, and the dam broke. I was crying in huge gasping sobs, as if the breath was being forcibly ripped out of me. He smoothed my tears away and smothered my hiccoughing sobs with a butterfly kiss, the softest brush of lips on mine.

"Go on," he whispered. "Go before I think of a way to make you stay." He nudged me towards the door and snapped his fingers at an elf, who scurried forward and picked up the basket of food and drink that I had almost forgotten about.

I looked back at him, and I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay _so badly_ that every step away was a physical pain. I smiled pathetically through my tears. "Stay alive, love."

His cocky grin was a shade of his usual one, but it was there. "I'll do my best, ma'am," he said with a lazy two-finger salute.

I was almost out the door when he suddenly caught my elbow and pulled me around again.

"Wait," he said urgently. "I can't let you leave – not without telling you."

My eyes widened. "Telling me what?"

"I was aiming for Sirius," he said quietly, and I caught the penny before it dropped – I knew exactly what he meant. When he had cast Sectumsempra, he'd not been aiming for James as I'd originally thought – he'd been aiming for his own brother. He laughed sourly at the horrified look on my face. "I didn't want you to hate me for harming your best friend, but I've been an idiot all around. Telling _you_ this, when you're the person who values family above all – barring your father."

"Why?" I asked. I was reminded again of why I loved him; he knew me enough to know that after losing a brother and a father, family was a top priority. "Why Sirius?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I knew this - " he motioned to both of us, " – was going to happen. Needed to get my two bits of revenge – one for breaking us up _twice_ and one for loving you."

In my ears, I heard the whistle of a train and the steadily increasing chug-chug as it gained speed. _What? _

"Repeat that last one?" I asked him politely.

"Why do you think it itched him so to see us together? Not only because he and I are estranged. In fourth year, he definitely loved you. And now? I don't know." He stared at me calculatingly for a moment. "I guess that's up to you to figure out."

My head was whirling, full of thoughts that I wasn't able to completely process. "I…"

He rested his forehead on mine, smiling gently. "Hey, maybe you'll get to date _both_ Black brothers," he said, attempting a joke but failing miserably when his voice caught on the word 'brothers'.

I didn't know what to say.

At last, I stepped back, towards the waiting house elf, and gave a half-hearted wave. "Goodbye, Regulus."

He didn't smile, didn't wave back. He just watched me with an unfathomable expression, as if he'd seen for miles into the future and had accepted his fate. "Bye, Norah."

I heard three more words before the door swung shut.

"I love you."

The walk back to the Hospital Wing was a disjointed blur or long corridors and portraits, each corner sending a fresh wave of jumbled thoughts spinning through my head. Several times, the house elf at my side had to pull me away from open stairwells and walls lest I fall and hurt myself.

And it didn't help – it didn't help at all – when I got back to the Hospital Wing and saw that James was awake; didn't help that I threw myself into his arms and was crying again before I realised that he hadn't moved to hug me back; didn't help that he met my gaze and told me flatly, "This doesn't change anything. It doesn't change anything at all."

And it didn't help that I met Sirius' eyes as I fled the Hospital Wing and saw him reaching out as if to catch me.

_You can't catch me. Not anymore. Not when everything's out of control._


	19. End of an Era Part IV

**Hi, all!**

**IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS!  
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**Or four. Omg, I can't even remember. I think I last updated in Feb. Holy shit.  
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**So exams finished June 1st and for the last three weeks I've had the most _crippling_ case of writer's block. I managed to grind out this chapter somehow and it's rushed and awful and a terrible update after four months of silence BUT...better than nothing. I'll come back and edit this shit someday.  
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**Also, I was thrilled and completely amazed by the response I got for chapter 18! 19 reviews! Which has got me to 159, which is probably the most AMAZING thing ever! **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Previously: Sirius is his usual pissing-off self, and Norah's in the kitchens when she runs into Regulus, who's not only a Death Eater but was the one who almost killed James. The couple finally, painfully break up, with the revelation that Sirius was in love with Norah! She returns to the Hospital Wing heartbroken, only to be rejected by James yet again.<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 19 - The End of an Era (Part IV)<strong>

Alice flopped onto her bed with a dreamy smile, pushing her dark locks back from her face.

Despite my melancholy, I felt a smile spread across my lips. "Had a good afternoon?" I teased.

She grinned at me. "You don't know the half of it."

I threw my pillow at her, relishing the feeling of normal girl-ness. Alice and Lily had been walking on eggshells around me for the past week and I was tiring of it. Alice had just spent the afternoon with Frank, and I was looking forward to some gossip.

"Well, we're official!" she said excitedly. I swear my face did not move at all, but she obviously imagined my face falling because she was hurrying to my side anxiously. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she cried. "I know it's difficult…"

Sighing, I pushed her off. "Alice, I swear. If you continue sugar-coating everything, I will never speak to you or Lily again. Stop treading on eggshells. I'm _fine_." It wasn't entirely true, but it was getting there.

Alice was obviously bursting to give me details, so she didn't bother waiting for more reassurances, jumping right into her afternoon with Frank, who, it seemed, had finally made the move. As she talked, my thoughts involuntarily moved to Marlene and Sirius, who were still not talking to each other. _Must make a fun group to hang around with_, I found myself thinking as I imagined James, Remus, Peter and Hestia hanging around with those two pointedly ignoring each other. Then I realised that that was what they'd had to deal with between me and Sirius for six years.

_Eh, well_, I though wearily. Sirius and I were just not destined to be bosom buddies. At least we were consistent.

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><p>Someone knocked into me hard, and I fell even harder, sprawling against the wall and knocking my head. "Ouch," I moaned, clutching onto the wall as best I could, with weak fingers. It was stable and solid, where the rest of the corridor was swaying like a ship in a storm. It was a telltale sign of a fainting fit and bile rose in my throat.<p>

I began to panic, my breath coming fast and short. My fingers scrabbled for purchase on the slick stone wall, and I only dimly registered Lily and Alice shouting at the boys in the background.

" – _totally_ uncalled-for - "

" – just because you _have_ a dick, doesn't mean you have to act like one - "

" – you're being _completely _immature!"

I began coughing, a dry, heaving cough that wouldn't stop and kept bubbling out of my throat despite my efforts to stop. Wheezing, I clutched onto the wall and my eyes widened as I recognised the symptoms of an asthma attack.

"You always side with _her_, Lily!"

"Because she's _right_!"

"Of course, the girl who dated a Death Eater - "

" - you know _bloody well_ he was forced into it, Sirius Black - "

I groped within my bag for my inhaler, but instead my fingers encountered what seemed like everything else in the bag. Quills, inkpots, books, sheaves of notes, _everything_ except the bloody medicine. Black spots began appearing at the corners of my vision and I began to wheeze as I panicked. I didn't even register the sudden silence as I started tossing items out of my bag in my frenzied search.

Cool hands pushed mine away and soon, the smooth square of the inhaler was pressed to my lips and the medicine released into my mouth. I breathed slowly, recovering from my attack as the voices around my came into focus again.

"Since when have you had asthma?" one of them asked. It was coming from very close by, but it took me a minute to realise that the speaker was talking to me.

Jack, looking worried and angry. "Since forever," I croaked. "I don't have attacks very often, though."

Crouching, he slipped an arm around my waist and gripped under my elbow with the other. He pulled me to my feet effortlessly and quickly retrieved my bag and various possessions.

"You don't look so good," Alice declared, frowning at me. "She's all pale, look," she said to Lily, who laid a hand on my forehead.

"She's cold."

And sweaty. My clothes were clinging to me with cold sweat.

I swayed as another wave of dizziness washed over me, clutching onto Jack's arm. Lily cupped my face in her palms. "We're taking you to the Hospital Wing, alright?" she asked, her expression brooking no argument. I argued anyway.

"I'm fine, Lil - "

My own voice blanked out as a roaring filled my ears. Darkness crept in around the edges of my vision again.

"Lily? How long since she last ate?"

"I… don't know."

"What's wrong with her?" a familiar voice, but I couldn't place it. "What's going on?"

"None of your business," came Alice's sharp reply.

"Norah, stand up - "

"What - "

"_Norah!"_

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><p>I woke up in darkness with a jolt. It was a different darkness, not the all-consuming about-to-faint variety but natural darkness, with the glow of the waxing moon creating all kinds of dramatic shadows. It took me a moment to place my surroundings; I was in the Hospital Wing.<p>

It took me another moment to realise that the chair beside the bed was occupied, and when I did, I was hard pressed not to scream in fright. I jerked, but immediately stilled as the figure stirred. I closed my eyes, evening out my breathing.

There was a rustle of clothing, and a familiar, warm presence along with a whiff of aftershave that I recognised. It should have bothered me, but I felt oddly safe, blanketed and warm in the darkness.

Footsteps moved stealthily away from me; the door creaked open. I wrenched my eyelids back just in time to see Sirius Black stealing out the door.

"Sirius?" I called weakly, wincing at the rasp in my voice. He stiffened, one foot already out. "Don't even _think_ about running for it," I warned quietly. Sighing, he reversed and headed back my way, staring down at my prone form with dark, angry eyes.

"What?" he demanded aggressively.

"Excuse me? I think I should be asking that considering you were being a creeper and standing over me as I slept," I snapped.

Scowling, he stalked all the way to my bed and sank down into the chair again.

"What did you want?" I asked him coolly. "Anything in particular?"

He scratched his head, abruptly uncomfortable. "I wanted to tell you something."

I waited, but he didn't say anything else. "Okay, what?" I demanded, losing patience.

"Did Regulus tell you anything?"

"You'll have to be more specific," I said carefully, a horrible suspicion rising within me. I hadn't believed Regulus when he told me that Sirius loved me.

"Did you – did he – did he tell you anything about me?"

"Spit it out, Sirius, I'm not a mind reader."

He growled in frustration, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "Fine," he snarled, getting up close and personal. Immediately, I became hyperaware of my own vulnerability, what with him leaning over me and trapping me between his arms. "Fourth year. What did he tell you about fourth year?"

"So this is what you were getting at," I sighed, my suspicions confirmed.

"Yes."

"Well, then - " I floundered, searching in the dusty depths of my mind for an excuse, "I have the right to remain silent."

"No, you don't," Sirius snapped, slowly flushing with frustration. "Because _I'm_ asking you and I want an answer, not silence."

I studiously avoided his eyes. "He told me you loved me."

Silence.

"I know it's not true though," I babbled on, "love is stupid… love doesn't even exist at that age! And you and…me? We've never got along. It's absolutely absurd…right? Sirius?"

He was tight-lipped and impassive and in that second, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the reason for it.

He didn't want to seem weak. Not in front of me.

Suddenly, I was abruptly tired beyond measure. My eyelids drooping with exhaustion, I rolled over on my side, away from him. "Go away, Sirius, I'm tired," I muttered.

"Bloody hell, Norah. You're not _allowed_ to be tired when we're talking about something like this."

"I'm not _allowed_ to be tired?" I snapped, turning around again and rising to his bait. "Who are you to tell me what I'm allowed to do?"

"I'm someone who's _trying_ to look out for you."

I laughed sardonically. "Tell me another."

"I'm serious."

"Yes, you are."

We both chuckled at the over-used joke for a moment before quieting and resuming our sombre prior conversation. "Look, now _I'm_ serious. I'm tired. I want to sleep. I'll still be here when I wake up and so will you so… until then, Sirius."

If looks could burn, he scowled heavily enough to burn through several layers of clothing. Nevertheless, he conceded. "Fine," he said eventually with a sigh. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"Thank you," I said graciously, though I couldn't stop a touch of sarcasm from creeping into my tone. "Now get lost."

As he was at the door, he turned around once more. "Hey, you should know something. Earlier, when you had your asthma attack, it was James."

"It was James who…what?" I repeated dumbly.

"He fished out your weird pipe thing and helped you breathe again."

"What – " I was dumbfounded by this new information. "Sirius – wait!"

His laughing voice echoed back down to me from along the corridor. "No can do, princess – you're too tired!"

Pulling the finger at the corridor in general, I rolled over and fell fast asleep.

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><p>There was grass, cool and silky against my bare legs. I rolled over contentedly, but frowned almost immediately when my feet encountered sharp pebbles and grainy dirt.<p>

Wait.

Grass? Pebbles? Dirt? _Bare legs?_

I wrenched my eyelids open and shot out of the bed – bed? Grass – to take a better look at my surroundings. Almost immediately, I jerked backwards as a familiar sneering face filled my line of sight.

"The hell, Zabini?" I snapped, although it didn't have the desired effect because my voice was hoarse. Still, I whisper-shouted with full vigour. I also discovered the reason for my bare legs – namely, the fact that my hospital gown had ridden up and the hem of it was now sitting somewhere near my mid-thigh.

"How did I even _get_ here?" I wondered, momentarily forgetting about her.

"Are you stupid? I used a Levitation charm," was her reply. Duh. Silly me. Excuse me for not expecting a psycho slut to Levitate me out of my hospital bed.

"Wow, well, was there a purpose to this?" I asked her sarcastically.

"I know your secret," she hissed at me, baring her fangs. _Cool down, Sparky._

"Right, what secret is that?" I said absently, focusing on pushing my hospital nightgown back down over my exposed legs. She grabbed my chin, forcing my head up.

"You're dating a _Death Eater_."

Far from making my blood run cold, this proclamation only made me chuckle. " So?"

"So if you _don't_ break up with him, I'll tell the school that you're one as well."

She didn't beat around the bush, did she? Well, I didn't want her to labour away under a misconception, so I leaned closer and gave her the goss. "Right, well, Regulus and I aren't together anymore so…" I idly twirled a bit of my hair, "your threat is pretty much void." Shakily, I got to my feet. "Nice talking to you, Zabini," I tossed over my shoulder as I walked away, my feet crunching over the pebbles at the shore of the lake. Then, "Yowwwww!" I screeched.

"Ow – fuck – Zabini!" I dug my nails into her wrist as I attempted to get her to loosen her grip on my hair. Eyes watering in pain, I tried prying her fingers off one by one but she had a good grip on my entire head of hair and much like a starving leech, she wasn't letting go.

"You think that makes everything dandy between us?" she snarled, yanking my hair on every second word. "No! It's – not – fine." Yank, yank, yank. "You have James Potter. Sirius Black. You have Jack Notterdale. Evan Rosier, even." Punctuating each slur with a pull of my hair, she barked, "You stupid wench! Why can't you ever see what's in front of you instead of being so fucking _idiotic_ and chasing after what you _can't have?_"

"I – I don't understand!" I cried, leaning closer to her so that her pulling of my hair would not hurt so much. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Regulus," she said, suddenly sounding very close to tears. "I loved him. I did. But you had to go and show me up in a bad light with your _perfect_ Gryffindor goodness. He and I would have been perfect. A match made in heaven. Our parents would have advocated it. But you… you ruined everything!"

"What do you mean, 'loved'?" I demanded breathlessly. "He's free and single. Go for it!"

"I can't," she whispered. "He's going. Tomorrow. He's leaving to serve the Dark Lord."

I was horrified, but I had to deal with the immediate threat first. Zabini had been slowly but surely dragging me back towards the Lake, with me following in an attempt to get her hands off my hair.

"What are you doing?" I yelped when the icy water touched the soles of my feet.

"_Incarcerous_," was her calm reply. Her tone, so contrasting to her previous screeching, prompted me to look into her eyes. And if there were ever anything that completely scared the shit out of me to a paralysing extent, it was the insanity in her eyes at that second.

At her command, vines sprang from the ground to twine around my limbs, holding me firmly in place.

"Help!" I cried, realising how desperate my situation was. "Somebody help me!"

"Shut _up!_" she shrieked, yanking viciously on my hair.

She then surveyed me, releasing my hair to stand in front of me and assess me with cool eyes. The madness flickered in her eyes again and along with it, her entire form. Black hair flashed silvery blonde, liquid Italian eyes turned blue. It was so fast that I almost dismissed it as an illusion – but I knew what I'd seen.

"You're a Veela!" I gasped, my mouth falling wide open. She grinned, shark-like.

"Half and half, yeah," she confirmed. "And I'm quite, quite insane right now. Hasn't anyone ever told you never to provoke a Veela?"

"Piper, please," I appealed, but it only seemed to make the fiery madness grow brighter. Her shape shifted constantly, Veela to human and back again, with dizzying speed.

"On a baser level, I am sorry about this," she said calmly. "But let's face it, Veela are driven by impulse. My first impulse right now is to rip your throat out, but I prefer the less messy way."

"HELP!" I screamed, hoping for someone, anyone to find us. To prevent the murder that was a second away from taking place.

Smoothly, she extended a heeled foot and kicked me in the stomach, sending me crashing back into the water. With my entire body encased in vines, I couldn't even struggle. I tried, I tried so hard, but I sank slowly, creating ripples as my energy drained away.

And I couldn't do it. I was too tired, too weak, and the thing I regretted the most was that my mother would have to live through the loss of another child. I didn't fight it when a scaly Grindylow hand wrapped around my ankle. I let the ice-cold water burn its way into my lungs, waiting for it to end.

"Hey, God," I said through the water in my mouth, "make it quick, okay?"

My eyes turned to the sky, looking for something I could tell Ben about when I saw him. I saw a shooting star, a vibrant red, flash across the sky. I saw a stag and a shaggy dog for a brief second before they vanished to be replaced by two human figures. Two more shooting stars. A dull, distant scream.

I closed my eyes and waited. The humans up on the shore would not see me. They would not hear my cries.

In that second, I gave up hope, but a newer strength rose in my arms. I wriggled one arm out of my bonds and took hold of my wand, which mercifully was still stuffed down my bra. "_Lumos Maxima!_" I thought with all my might, praying that for once in my life I could achieve a nonverbal spell. Light flashed from the tip of my wand, but as the seconds passed, I knew there was really no hope left.

Just before I shut my eyes again, they caught one last sight.

A pair of grey eyes.

Identical to mine.

I drifted off.

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><p><strong>I thought the Zabini being a Veela was pretty plausible considering she enticed and killed like seven husbands according to the book. I needed a reason for her insanity and this seemed as good as any! <strong>

**Hope this was SORT OF up-to-standard. Ack.  
><strong>

**I'd also like everyone to know that I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS STORY. It may take weeks, months, YEARS for me to update this but I will end it as decently as possible.  
><strong>

**Cheers!  
><strong>

**accio  
><strong>


	20. Reconnections

**A/N: I cannot even begin to tell you how crazy my life is. Weekdays I wake up at 5 am for school and generally reach home at 5 in the evening. I AM SO FUCKING TIRED. But still churning out this chapter for you guys, though I don't have the first idea what to write or how to write it. I haven't even been writing my original fic – in fact, I'm actually putting this ahead of that, so y'all better love me :P Yes, despite the fact that I haven't updated for like a month and a half.**

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><p><strong>I AM SO SORRY. I KNOW THE TIMELINE OF THIS STORY IS COMPLETELY SCREWED. CAN'T HELP IT. NEEDED CHRISTMAS FOR THIS CHAPTER. :\<strong>

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><p><strong>FFN is gettin' fancy. Apparently the mods are coming down hard on smut writers. I don't even read that stuff but half of me is annoyed and the other half grateful. Annoyed because the good thing about FFN and FP was previously the freedom of speech, you know? We don't have that anymore. And grateful because if the site and the management in general is improving, FP and FFN may put locks on the copy-paste functions, which means NO MORE PLAGIARISM unless the plagiarisers are exceptionally bored and jobless.<strong>

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><p><strong>Enjoy! Read and review. Special thank you to <span>Silent Quicksilver<span> for what was probably one of the most awesome reviews I've ever, ever received. Sorry if I didn't reply to your reviews – while I love and appreciate all reviews that reach me, I simply don't have the time to reply these days!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 20 – Reconnections<strong>

**Previously: After a run-in with her old friends leads her from an asthma attack to a fainting fit, Norah is taken to the Hospital Wing to recuperate. She wakes up in the darkness and has an extremely awkward conversation with Sirius, culminating in him backing down (for once!) and Norah realising that it was James who had found her inhaler and helped her through her attack. She falls asleep again and the next time she wakes up, Zabini is standing over her. She finds out that Zabini is quite insane and is tied up and thrown into the Lake as part of Zabini's ultimate revenge.**

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><p>I dreamt of a shaggy dog. In my dreamland, there was liquid darkness all around me, but I could breathe through it. It filled my lungs with a burning pain, but I inhaled it anyway.<p>

The dog was there as I walked through my dreamscape. Pulling, nudging me in the right direction. He barked at me from time to time, too. He was far more urgent than I was.

A sudden pressure ached on my chest at times, like a phantom pain in an amputated limb. I looked down; looked at myself, saw nothing. And still the pressure persisted. The dog seemed most urgent at these times, barking at me like anything.

And then there was the stag. He drifted around the edges of my vision, never clearly in sight, but I knew he was there. I caught him once, poised at the very edge of my dreamscape, staring right at me but with his back legs tensed like he'd take flight any second. His barking calls echoed from time to time across the dreamland to the dog, seemingly reassuring.

I coughed as the pressure in my chest grew. Pain, more burning pain in my lungs. I collapsed, kneeling in the silky darkness as the dog barked furiously, pawing at my face. The stag, too, ventured forward and nuzzled my arm comfortingly. Wide-eyed, I looked up at both of them briefly before I doubled over coughing, the searing ache growing stronger and stronger –

And then I woke up.

One pair of grey eyes. One pair of hazel eyes.

I fell asleep, but this time, thank goodness, it wasn't the sleep of the dead.

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><p>My first thought when I woke up, verbatim: <em>What the fuck?<em>

This might have had something to do with the bandage on my ribs, but more likely was centred around the fact that there was an arm wrapped around my stomach. A _male_ arm.

_Oh hell, do not tell me I got drunk and slept with someone gross, please don't let it be that…_ I prayed, trying to peek under the covers and check for my pants.

"Mmmph," the guy behind me said as my elbow accidentally dug into his stomach. I froze. I knew that voice…

"James?" I asked into the darkness, jerking away from him.

And just like that, the room around me exploded with light and people.

"Norah!" about ten people chorused at the same time. I couldn't see them because I was too busy squinting away from the light.

"Dim the lamp, you idiot," someone muttered. The light in the room lessened considerably, and I opened my eyes warily.

Almost all my friends were in the room, and it terrified me. They were gathered with tear tracks on many faces, like it was my funeral or something. Awkwardly because of the bandages, I slid out from beneath the covers, determinedly not looking at James.

"You're not supposed to move - " Lily chided, but cut herself off halfway through knowing that she couldn't stop me. Wide-eyed, I gazed at all of them one by one. Lily, Hestia, Marlene, Alice, Remus, Peter, Jack, even Regulus lurking at the back… and then my eyes lit on a head of shaggy hair and everything came back in a rush.

Zabini, the lake, her impulsive, destructive Veela nature, how –

" – she tried to kill me!" I gasped, clutching the side of the bed to hold myself up. My voice was little more than a grating rasp. I turned to Sirius. "And you…" I glanced at James. "And…"

Their eyes said more than they did; they warned me not to talk about what I had seen. The last shreds of loyalty to James kept my mouth shut, but I knew I couldn't stay in the room anymore. So I looked at the one person who had zero connections with anyone but me.

"Jack," I said pleadingly, holding out a hand. He looked as mystified as the rest; he knew very well that I still wasn't comfortable with him.

"What is it?" he asked, taking my arm to steady me.

I looked around: everyone's eyes focused unerringly on me in the pin-drop silence. I leaned closer to Jack. "I need to get out of here," I muttered. The smallest of smiles curled his lips.

"Let's go, then," he said easily, slipping an arm around my waist to take my weight.

"What?" The incredulous explanation came from all directions, but most prominently from the bed behind me. I turned to find James, propped up on one elbow, looking hurt and bewildered.

"You're going to leave with him?"

A cold, righteous anger filled me. Knowing me, it wasn't going to last long but I would definitely make the most of it. James would grovel, I would make sure of it. "You alienated me. They didn't. You may have saved my life but don't for a second think that I've just forgotten about what you two - " I glanced at Sirius, " – put me through."

My aim at this point was to take determined steps out of the Hospital Wing but my knees gave out at that point so Jack had to carry me, ruining my dramatic exit. Lily, Alice, Hestia and Marlene trailed behind us like a flock of chicks following their mother.

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><p>"Tell all," Lily demanded as soon as Jack had deposited me at Gryffindor Tower.<p>

"Wait!" Marlene gasped, shoving forward to sit next to me on the bed. Before I could react or pull away, she had scooped me into a choking hug, burying her face in my hair. "I'm so, so sorry, Rae. I don't know what came over me! I didn't mean to do that for weeks and weeks but you left and then Sirius… and…"

I understood immediately. She still had feelings for Sirius, despite everything he'd done. I melted. There was no way I could stay angry with Marlene if that was how she felt.

"Oh, Marls," I sighed, finally hugging her back. "You really love the wrong people sometimes."

"Says Regulus Black's girlfriend," Lily muttered with a grin.

"_Ex_," I emphasised. "_Ex_-girlfriend."

"Right," she mumbled, abruptly shamefaced.

I rolled my eyes. "Relax, Lily."

"I will when you tell me why you almost died… again."

I was bewildered. "When was the last time I almost died?"

"After Ben's death, Astronomy Tower a couple of months ago, yesterday when you had your asthma attack..." Marlene ticked them off on her fingers.

"Right, stop," I interrupted. "I get it."

I opened my mouth to tell them the story… and then I started coughing.

It wasn't ordinary coughing. It came from deep within my chest and sounding more like a dog barking than any human noise. More than anything, it _hurt_. I doubled over, the inside of my throat being scraped raw by each hacking cough. Tears streamed down my face as I clutched my ribs, my teeth breaking skin as I attempted to stop the coughing.

"_Anapneo_," Lily shrieked, pointing her wand at my throat. Immediately, the tight aching ceased and I lay back, exhausted beyond belief.

"She tried to kill me," I gasped, collapsing on the pillows. "Zabini… tried to kill me. Part Veela. She loves Regulus."

"_What?_" four voices chorused.

Finally getting my breath back, I nodded. Conjuring up a glass, I filled it with warm water and sipped at it gingerly. "Vindictive bitches, Veela. And… I suppose you know that the boys found me."

"Yes, but don't you let them off too easily," Alice warned, wagging a finger at me. "It's too soon to forget what they did to you." Marlene averted her eyes, no doubt remembering that she'd been part of the 'they'.

"Oh, no," I laughed, suddenly in good humour. "James will get what's coming to him. That's for sure."

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><p>Jack was waiting outside the common room in the morning. It was a Saturday so we weren't obliged to wear house colours. Since he was still relatively new, very few people recognised him as being a Slytherin, which made it easy and comfortable to walk along the corridor with him.<p>

This Saturday was also a Hogsmeade weekend. I had made plans with the girls for lunch for first I wanted some time to go Christmas shopping. Preferably, I'd go alone, but Jack had insisted on coming along. Just an anti-Zabini precaution, you see.

Christmas shopping went smoother than expected, though. I ducked into the new stationery store and bought quills for Alice and Hestia. When Jack wasn't looking, however, I sneaked an extra quill into my bag for Remus. It went against the grain to just completely ignore the boys for Christmas.

My next stop was Gladrags, where I picked up a pair of earrings for Marlene and some adorable fluffy booties for Lily. Using the toilet as an excuse, I sneaked into the men's section and got a tie each for Sirius, James, Jack and Regulus. It really ached to have to spend money on that _dog_ Sirius but I kept in mind that he had saved me from drowning and twenty Sickles wasn't too much of a hassle. The ties I purchased were charmed to change colour to suit the appearance of the wearer, and as I slipped one around my neck – the silk soft against my skin – the plain white shimmered and changed to a stormy grey the exact colour of my eyes. I was forcibly reminded yet again of Sirius and I ripped the tie off hastily, shoving it back into the box and handing it to the clerk. "Four of these, please. Oh, wait, five," I added, as I remembered Peter. I didn't know him well – didn't know him at all, actually – but it would be just plain mean to buy his three friends gifts and leave him out of the loop.

At Scrolls and Tomes I picked up a book on Quick Healing spells for David and at the florist's I picked up two flowers – one red rose and one while lily – and charmed them both to stay alive and vibrant indefinitely. The rose was for my mother and the lily was for Ben's grave, where I'd go during the Christmas holidays.

Satisfied that all my shopping had been accomplished, I sent Jack to meet with Rosier and sloshed through the melting snow to the Three Broomsticks. The girls were huddled in one corner, shivering and looked much like owls who'd been flying in storms. I plopped down next to them with a smug smirk. "Got caught in the rain?"

"No, actually," Lily scowled. "A couple of Slytherin boys pushed us down a snowdrift."

I scowled in return. "Slytherins. But at least it was snow and not solid ground," I said to cheer them up.

"So how did Christmas shopping go?" Hestia asked.

I brightened immediately. "I think I got everyone. A good haul this year." I ordered a Butterbeer as I spoke and Rosmerta Levitated it over to our table. "Cheers!" I called to her, taking a sip of the warm wizarding drink.

Behind me, the bell over the door tinkled, admitting a new patron along with a gust of cold wind. I was half-turned in my seat, so I peered over the heads of the people next to us to see who had entered.

I groaned. "It's them." All of us immediately shrunk low in our seats as the laughing voices of the Marauders added to the general din in the pub.

For the past nine days, James had been orchestrating apology attempts of increasing desperation. I was pretty proud of myself for holding out for so long, but my grasp on my anger was getting more tenuous by the day.

The past nine days, summarised, went as follows:

Saturday: Levitated himself up to my room and begged for forgiveness.

Sunday: James caught me in the common room and apologised.

Monday: James caught up with me at breakfast and apologised.

Tuesday: Sat next to me in Charms and sent apology notes for an hour and a half.

Wednesday: Ordered a customised dinner plate that featured my name surrounded by swirls of gravy and next to it, a dessert with 'Sorry' spelled out in chocolate sauce.

Thursday: Threatened to forfeit his Quidditch Captainship if I didn't accept his apology. (He was bluffing. I wasn't fooled.)

Friday: Apologised for threatening to renounce his Captainship. Forgot to apologise for the other thing.

Saturday: Wrote me a twelve-page letter detailing his stupidity.

And today, Sunday, as two pairs of dark eyes landed on me with glaring intensity, I knew he wasn't about to give up.

A whispered conversation broke me out of my reverie. Sirius was lecturing James, evidently unaware that I could hear every word he said.

"… just give it up. She's being unreasonable."

"No, mate. We didn't talk to her for almost two months. If I have to do this for the same amount of time, I will. She's my best friend."

"_I'm_ your best friend."

"Real mature, Padfoot."

"Up yours."

"Norah!" he called to me, striding over. I froze, my expression locking down. "Been shopping?" he asked casually, casting an assessing eye over my various bags. Narrowing my eyes at him, I swiftly shrunk them and stuffed them into my school bag.

"Yeah," I replied coldly. His smile faltered.

"Girls," he greeted, nodding to the others who were sitting with me. "Lily." Hestia and Marlene returned the greeting but Lily and Alice simply sipped at their drinks like he hadn't spoken. For one second, his entire face crumpled in. I knew he was really feeling it now – feeling what I had felt for almost two months on the go. My resolve to stay angry began seriously crumbling at the edges.

"I… I need to leave," I mumbled, snatching up bag and Butterbeer.

"I'll go with you!" James said eagerly.

For the first time in months, I stopped and looked him straight in the eyes. "Don't. Please."

Looking stunned, he stepped back and allowed me to leave. As I left, though, I could feel a pair of grey eyes burning twin holes in my back.

The walk to the castle was cold and sharp, and although the wind stung my face, it cleared my thoughts. The Christmas presents, I realised, would be the first step to restoring my friendship with the Marauders.

So it was decided. Christmas morning would be forgiveness time. And I couldn't hold out much longer anyway. I didn't have the capacity for prolonged anger or hate. Whatever James was planning to give me for Christmas would be the final straw.

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><p>Christmas morning dawned blue and <em>freezing<em>. I woke up even before dawn and perched myself on the window seat, stroking Marlene's cat. One by one, my roommates woke up too and we all clustered at the window, watching the sun rise. Something was going to change today, and I think we all knew it.

Like clockwork, at five in the morning presents appeared at the feet of our beds. Reluctantly, we scattered and inspected our piles. I had a cashmere scarf from Lily, a book on Prank Hexes from Marlene and a joint gift of a pair of heeled shoes from Alice and Hestia. Mrs Potter had sent me a dozen mince pies and a ring with a stone suspiciously reminiscent of a real ruby in it. I would have to write her later about it. My parents had sent me a pink rose in return to the red one I'd sent them, along with a soft woollen shawl.

A small silver gift sat at the bottom of the pile and I picked it up carefully, picking at the tape so I wouldn't tear the pretty paper. A velvet jewellery box was soon uncovered and a note fell out of the paper.

_Thinking of you. Here's something to obsess over – I may be seeing you sooner than expected!_

_Love, Liam._

Smiling so widely my cheeks hurt, I pried open the jewellery box and gasped. From the necklace inside hung a pendant shaped like a swallow in flight. Its eyes were glittering emeralds and the chain was made of spun silver that glittered softly in the candlelight.

"Oh!" Lily gasped, looking up and seeing it. "Who's that from?"

"Liam," I replied, spellbound by the beautiful necklace. With a frown, I remembered his note. "He said he'd be seeing me sooner than expected – what do you think that means?"

"What it says, presumably," Marlene said, rolling her eyes. "He might be coming to visit or something."

I set the necklace back into the box. I wasn't going to put it on myself. If I was indeed going to be seeing him soon, he could do it for me.

As I set the box aside, a sinking realisation occurred to me.

There was nothing from any of the Marauders.

I sifted through the piles of wrapping paper, searching for something to contradict my thoughts, but it was obvious – they hadn't got me anything.

So much for forgiveness.

"There's nothing from them," I whispered, digging my fingers into the piles of paper.

"What?" Lily asked absently, obviously not having heard.

"There's nothing from James," I said, louder. She whipped around, bright red, holding a stunning statuette of a doe in her left hand. It was all too obvious who the gift had come from.

"Did you get him something?"

I nodded. "A tie."

"Oh, Rae," they all sighed at once. My left eye twitched in confusion.

"Haven't you had enough of being hurt by those boys?" Alice asked me kindly, sliding the ring she had received from Frank onto her index finger. "Have you thought that maybe it isn't worth rekindling that friendship?"

"Six years of friendship," I muttered. "I figured it outweighs three months of being ostracised."

There was a silence. I could tell that none of them knew what to say.

"Let's go eat breakfast," Lily suggested eventually.

The girls hustled me downstairs, casting furtive glances around for the Marauders. Unlike normal Christmastime, James and Sirius had for whatever reason decided to stay at Hogwarts this year. I suspected it was because they were feeling the end, how close we all were to graduating and never seeing this place again. They probably spouted some rubbish about a new prank, but I had known James for six years. I knew how he worked.

Thankfully, the Marauders weren't in the Great Hall that morning. Morosely, I munched on a piece of bacon and tried thinking about Liam to distract myself. What did he mean by telling me I'd see him soon? Hopefully he meant it, because Merlin knows I needed to give him the world's biggest hug for forgetting to get him a Christmas present.

After breakfast, Lily opted for a day at the Lake. Yet again, the Marauders were nowhere to be seen, and we spent the day in relative peace, swimming and gossiping shamelessly about anyone we could think of.

Dusk fell, and we dragged ourselves out of the water, yawning widely as the effects of our early start kicked in. A quick dinner was taken in the Great Hall and then Hestia, Marlene and Lily suggested we spend the last hours of Christmas up at the Astronomy Tower.

I still hated that place. It held layer upon layer of bad memories for me. But I knew my alternative was forcing the entire group to go elsewhere and I didn't have that in me; not after they had spent the entire day attempting to cheer me up.

"Really, you'll enjoy it! It's the perfect night for it," Hestia assured me as she prodded my coat with her wand. It shuddered and grew three new layers of padding, making me resemble a particularly irritated Eskimo. I shoved fur out of my face and turned to see all my friends decked out in the same manner, which made me feel a little better.

Still… "It's going to be freezing out there even with coats like these!" I protested.

"We'll only be up there for a little while," Lily soothed me, poking me up the stairs. Scowling, I pushed open the door to the Astronomy Tower, letting in a gust of arctic air. I was all for ducking back inside at that point but before I could do so, Lily shoved me fully out onto the Tower balcony. The other girls clambered up with me, fumbling a little in their thick jackets.

"It's cold," I complained after a minute. "Can we go in?"

"Shut up and look at the view," Marlene ordered. I narrowed my eyes at her but she probably didn't see it through the furry hood of my coat.

"Come on," Lily whispered next to me, her small, warm hand clutching onto mine in the darkness.

"Who are you talking to?" I asked curiously.

Then with a soft _whoosh_ that exploded into brilliant colour, the first fireworks went up, exploding directly in front of us. A Catherine Wheel tore through the air, the high-pitched screech making us simultaneously yelp and cover our ears. Rockets in the shapes of dragons and lions roared amid a fiery blaze of colour.

It took us a moment to notice it. The rocket was nondescript and small, a mere speck compared to its companions… at least, until it started moving, leaving a trail of fire in its wake that somehow outlasted all the other fireworks.

M ERRY CHRISTMAS, NORAH PAYNE.

And beneath that, the clear outlines of a dog, a wolf, a stag and a rat.

"Do you like it?" Lily asked me, grinning like a shark.

"Oh my God," I gasped. "You were in on it! All of you!"

"Only me and Marlene," Hestia shyly admitted. "It's an apology from us too."

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. "It's amazing."

"_Does she like it?" _another voice shouted. I looked up and saw one, two, three, four brooms hovering around the Tower.

I attempted to wipe my tears surreptitiously with a corner of my furry hood. When I looked up again, there they were, hovering over me.

James' feet touched the ground and he was hugging me so hard that my feet lifted off the ground. All was forgiven and he knew it, the bastard.

"I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" he asked with a smirk. I smacked him.

"You know damn well that I'd forgiven you when you saw your Christmas presents this morning," I accused.

"Right," Sirius confirmed. For a moment, as James released me, I caught an odd expression on his face; as if he'd consider giving me a hug as well. The moment passed, though, and he held out his hand tentatively. "We're seventeen now, Payne. I think it's time both of grew up a little. Truce? For real this time?"

After all he'd done to me, could I really let it go and call a truce?

I could. I shook his hand. "Truce."

Remus stepped up next, shame-faced. "I don't know how to apologise for jumping on the bandwagon when I knew it was the wrong thing to do," he admitted. "I hope this helps." He pressed a small something into my hand and retreated. I stowed it away in a pocket of my coat to look at it later.

Peter stumbled and blushed as he handed me a daisy. It had telltale traces of magic on it, though, so I knew it was no ordinary daisy. When I thanked him, I was sincere.

"Cocoa, anyone?" James asked in his normal James-y way. A round of yeses and nods made its way around the group. From the back of his broom, he produced a hot Thermos and started doling out the contents into cups. He settled down on my left, Sirius on my right.

"The world is back in equilibrium, Prongs," Sirius announced, taking a sip of cocoa.

"Indeed it is, Padfoot," James asserted, tapping out a beat on his own cup.

"Padfoot and Prongs," I murmured, assessing them and remembering clearly a shaggy dog and a proud stag. "Sounds right."

But at that moment, everything sounded right. I was with my friends, on the Astronomy Tower, sipping hot cocoa and waiting for tomorrow.

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><p><strong>YAY EVERYONE'S FRIENDS AGAIN!<strong>

**Read and review. 3 **


	21. Midnight, Moony, Make-ups and Break-ups

**Yes! Finally! An update! I wrote all this in one day, OH YEAH. This also means I didn't have time to edit it, so please excuse any random shitty typos. Exams just ended and I have a month of winter vacation, which HOPEFULLY will be filled with lots and lots and lots of writing. Which reminds me, if you're really nice readers, check out this story of mine. It's called Guitar Tricks and Masala Mix and is an original fic that can be found here (remove the spaces): www. fictionpress s/3042884/1/Guitar-Tricks-and-Masala-Mix**

**Love lots! And sorry as always that it has taken so long. ****A very big thank you to**** Sallu, Lizaluvsdoggies, EllieBaby, PeaceLoveSiriusBlack, angelvboo, sweethearts together, the best slytherclaw, aussiegirl97, VanillaSnowdrops and livyy ****for reviewing the previous chapter!**

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><p><strong>Previously: The days leading up to Christmas are spent fending off increasingly desperate apologies from James and co. At midnight, Norah and the girls head up to the Astronomy Tower, where the Marauders orchestrate a fireworks display for Norah. All is forgiven.<strong>

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><p><strong><span>Midnight, Moony, Make-ups and Break-ups<span>**

Madame Pomfrey signed my death certificate on the first day of the New Year.

"No!" I gasped, horrified.

"_Yes_," she affirmed. "No Quidditch for the next three weeks. I'm sorry, Miss Payne, but your lungs are in bad enough shape without contact sport to agitate them further."

James, Sirius and I gaped after her as she walked away.

"C-c-contact sport," I spluttered, taking it almost as a personal affront. "Quidditch has far more finesse than a _contact sport_!"

"Th-three weeks," James whimpered, leaning on his best friend for support. Sirius patted his back sympathetically. "I can't function without a Beater for three weeks. The match is in a month!"

"Oh, come on," Lily said cajolingly. "It's not _that_ bad."

Three pairs of incredulous eyes stared at her.

"_Not that bad_?"

Sternly, I pointed a roll of bandages at her. "Three weeks without flying isn't _bad_, Lily. It's abysmal. Catastrophic."

"Cataclysmic," James chimed in.

"Apocalyptic," Sirius agreed.

Rolling her eyes, she batted the bandages out of my hand. "Well, if you don't get some sleep, you'll have to spend that much longer recovering. Up to bed, now," she clucked, chivvying me out with occasional prods of her wand.

"But - " I protested,

"But nothing," Lily said sternly. "It's late."

"They're going to practice!" I exclaimed, pointing fingers at James and Sirius, who were attempting to sneak off. Lily let go of me briefly in order to collar them and drag them along.

"_Ouch_, mother," Sirius grumbled. She doubled her grip on his ear, and he winced.

"Walk," she commanded.

"I love a confident woman," James sighed dreamily, flinching as Lily tugged on his ear. "_Ouch_, Evans!"

I smirked as they began to bicker. Some things never change.

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><p>The moon was rising – a full moon, casting silvery light over the castle grounds. I sighed and rested my cheek on the frosted-over window, feeling the cold freeze my teeth. I closed my eyes, remembering dryly that I hadn't had much inclination to fly until Madame Pomfrey stopped me from doing so. <em>Absence makes the heart grow fonder.<em>

"Need a lift?" came a voice from beside me. I jumped sideways, smacking my cheekbone on the window frame.

"Holy mother of Merlin, _Sirius_," I breathed, heart pounding. He laughed out loud, his shaggy hair whipping back in the breeze. "What the hell are you _doing_?"

"Couldn't sleep," he replied with a shrug. "Saw you as I was flying past. Come on! Grab your broom. Mother will never know," he added, nodding at a sleeping Lily.

"She confiscated it," I muttered, still embarrassed by how easily Lily had confiscated my broom.

Sirius let out a poorly-disguised laugh, turning it into a cough midway as I glared at him. "Climb on, then," he invited, drifting closer to the window.

My eyes widened. "What – with you?"

"No, with my left foot," he quipped, rolling his eyes.

Awkwardly, I eyed the broom. I was still new to this truce between us, and it seemed like going for a moonlight fly was crossing lines.

"_Fine_," Sirius sighed exaggeratedly. "If that's what you want." He made to turn his broom, and I lunged forward.

"No, wait!"

He laughed, shaking his head and urging his broom back to the tower wall. "Quiet. Lily might wake up. Climb on."

Holding onto the window frame for support, I cautiously edged out onto the ledge. He rose slowly to a comfortable level for me and I swung my leg over the broom, sliding my arms around his waist for a moment to catch my balance. The ground fell away beneath me in a breath-stealing rush of vertigo, and as I clutched onto him tighter, I heard, as if in a dream, a sharp intake of breath, and his muscles clenched beneath my arms.

"Alright?" he asked, not looking at me. I loosened my grip, having found a balance on the broom.

I nodded. "Fine. Let's go!"

With a sudden burst of that bark-like laughter, he angled his broom into a steep dive that sent the air whooshing through my hair and tore a scream from my lips, turning into a wild laugh as he evened out, the tips of my toes skimming the grass. We swooped low over the lake, performing a few loop-de-loops for my enjoyment, before rising to fly around Hagrid's hut and back towards the Quidditch pitch.

He dived again, but this time he deliberately took longer to even out, so we tumbled gently off his broom, onto the soft turf of the Quidditch pitch. I was breathing heavily, my heart pounding from the thrill, and Sirius was grinning lazily at me from his place a couple of feet away.

"Have fun?" he asked, raking his fingers through his hair.

"Absolutely," I sighed, sitting up and rubbing my itchy nose. I sneezed, rubbing my arms as the cold began to set in.

"You couldn't spare five seconds to grab a coat?" Sirius asked, obviously questioning my intelligence.

I shook my head, sneezing again. He sighed and rose to his feet, crossing gracefully to where I was huddled. Shrugging out of his coat, he muttered, '_Engorgio_', and the coat grew to double its size.

"What?" he demanded when I raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not going to sit and freeze for you." He flopped down beside me and flung one side of the coat at me, wrapping it around the both of us. We huddled beneath the makeshift blanket together in silence, and I tried surreptitiously to inhale the scent coming off the jacket.

"Hey, you know, we never got to have that talk," he said suddenly.

"What talk?" I knew perfectly well what talk. The unfinished conversation from the Hospital Wing, right before Zabini tried to drown me. My voice cracked, and his fingers abruptly clamped down on mine.

"You know very well what talk," he said, leaning in close and whispering it, so close that I could feel his lips brushing against my hair. I tried to hold it back, but an involuntary shiver ran up my spine. _Stop it_, I instructed myself. _He's just trying to intimidate you into talking_.

And it was going to work. I didn't see the need to talk about something that had happened so long ago, but I could feel that it was the only thing keeping Sirius and I from being proper friends.

"Sirius, I - " I began, turning to look at him – but he was unexpectedly close, and instead of jerking backward, I found myself leaning forward, bracing one hand on his chest for balance. Beneath my hand, his heartbeat sped up, and I knew without looking that our lips were a hair's breadth away from each other.

"Norah," he whispered, his hand releasing mine to slide up and touch my face. His fingers were calloused and scarred, the fingers of someone accustomed to hard work.

"Sirius?" I murmured when he made no effort to move closer or away.

His hand slid to cup my neck, and I knew this was it – and then a howl broke the night, the eerie, screaming yelp of a wolf.

Sirius jerked away as if scalded. "Fuck," he cursed, looking up at the sky with a calculating eye. "Shit, shit, shit." He rushed over and scooped up his broom before jogging back to me and hoisting me up just as easily. "You need to go, Norah, _now_. Take the broom, take the jacket, just leave, now!"

The last word was a shout, and it shocked me into action. I took the broom and jumped onto it, rising slowly into the air.

"Explain!" I demanded.

"Later," he said, meeting my eyes with a hint of desperation. "Just get out of here, _go_, he's close!" he exclaimed as another howl sounded from directly beyond the stands.

"Sirius - "

"Leave, Norah!" he barked, and without waiting any longer, he shook his hair – no, fur – and dropped to his hands and knees – _paws?_ – and bounded off to the stands just as a werewolf exploded from within them. Stifling a shriek of terror, I yanked the broom into a sharp climb, watching in terror as the dog tackled the werewolf to the ground, pushing it bodily out of the Quidditch pitch.

_Of course_. The full moon; Remus had transformed. But wasn't he supposed to be confined to the Whomping Willow?

Evidently not, I inferred, as I spotted a stag making its way out of the trees. Some small creature scurried along at its feet – a rat, I would guess, meaning Peter. They surrounded the werewolf, herding it back into the forest.

Letting go of the breath I'd unconsciously been holding, I flew back up to Gryffindor Tower and into the window, setting Sirius' broom by the bed and falling into the sheets. There, smothered in blankets and Sirius' coat, I finally allowed myself to think about what had almost happened between Sirius and I.

Had we kissed, what would have happened? It was almost too painful to consider. I'd had enough drama already since the beginning of term. But I couldn't deny it, even to myself – Sirius Black had meant to kiss me five minutes ago, and the scary part was… that I had, for a moment in time, wanted him to.

* * *

><p>The morning dawned bright and freezing, as per the norm. Lily dragged my reluctant arse out of bed, and I could sense as I began my shower that something would happen today.<p>

The boys joined us at breakfast, looking tired out of their minds – Remus especially so. As I passed the toast rack to them, I glance up briefly and spotted Regulus biting into a rasher of bacon. He hadn't left yet – it had been almost two weeks since Piper had told me that he was leaving, and he was still here.

"Thanks," Sirius said quietly, taking a piece of toast. He met my eyes steadily, and a small smile quirked the corners of his lips.

I smiled in return, spearing a sausage on the end of my fork and proceeding to bite the end off it. Lily, Marlene and Hestia soon engaged me in a conversation about Charms, and my attention was diverted, but all through breakfast, I could feel him watching me.

"Guess what's happening today," Sirius said later when he caught up with me as I was leaving the Great Hall.

"What?"

"James is going to ask Lily out."

"Really?" I was interested. It had been a while since his last attempt, and since I knew that Lily did indeed have feelings for him, I was rather curious to see where it would go. "Tell him not to make a big production out of it. She won't feel comfortable accepting in public."

Sirius looked shocked. "She's going to accept?"

I clapped a hand over my own mouth. "Shit. Okay." I prodded him in the chest with my wand. "You do _not_ mention this to James, or Lily, or _anyone_. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," he intoned, gingerly pushing my wand tip away with his index finger. I spun on my heel and continued walking.

"Listen," he began, "I don't think we should pretend that last night didn't happen."

"What _did_ happen last night?" I asked, a little sourly.

"What _almost_ happened, then," he said brutally. "We're really overdue for this talk of ours."

"Isn't it usually the _girl_ demanding for a 'talk'?" I said.

"Times change," he snapped. "We're going to talk."

"Now?"

"Yes, now."

"We have Charms."

"Like you haven't skived class before, Payne."

"This class is important."

"I loved you."

"_What_?" I froze.

"You heard me," he said grimly.

"_Loved_, right?" I asked anxiously. "Past tense."

He was silent for a moment. "Yeah. Past tense."

I eyed him tentatively. "Is that it?"

He looked taken aback. "Yeah, I s'pose so."

"Cool."

"Great."

I looked at him one last time, a grin twitching at the corners of my lips. Then I pushed open the door of the Charms classroom and entered, with him chuckling quietly behind me.

* * *

><p>It was evening, and all of us were sprawled in front of the fire in some way or the other. Lily and Marlene had snagged the best armchairs, so Hestia and Remus took the other two while the rest of us flopped all over the floor. I was lying on my side, watching as Sirius and James played a rousing game of scissor-paper-stone. James groaned theatrically as he lost once again, getting to his feet with a sigh.<p>

"Lily," he said tentatively, causing all of us to zero in on the two of them with unerring accuracy. "Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?"

There was hope in her eyes, concealed behind a layer of wariness. I winked at her behind James' back, waggling my fingers teasingly. She ignored me, of course.

"Sure," she agreed, and they moved off into a corner and began talking quietly.

"Damn it, James," Sirius cursed, shaking his head like a dog.

"What?" I asked, curious.

"He Muffliato'd us," he said in outrage. "I tried to eavesdrop and all I could hear was buzzing."

"Karma's a bitch," I said with a shrug, grinning. "Give them some privacy, you twat."

"He doesn't _need_ privacy, he needs a friend to guide him so that he doesn't cock it up."

"And I suppose you're that friend," I drawled, twirling a strand of my hair around one finger. "Because you're so smooth and charming."

"Correct!" he exclaimed. I snorted, rolling over to face Remus, who was watching us with a curious expression.

"When did you two get so chummy?" Marlene asked.

"Thank you, Marlene, for your tact," Remus muttered.

I think back to last night, remembering lurching vertigo, soft grass and warm leather. "I don't know, I guess we're mature enough to have made the truce work," I shrugged.

"And I think - " Sirius began, but he was interrupted.

"SHE SAID YES!" James bellowed across the common room. As one, we broke into resounding cheers, and soon enough the entirety of Gryffindor was joining us in what we later termed 'the victory dance of Prongs and Prongette'.

In all the ruckus, no one noticed when the portrait hole opened, and it was only when I turned around to pick up my wand that I noticed the new comer. The wand promptly fell from my hand.

The boy smiled at me. "Hey there, stranger."

I pushed through the crowds, the smile on my face so big that it hurt. "Oh my God," I breathed, meeting his eyes and almost tearing up in happiness. "Liam!"

Finally reaching him, I launched myself into his arms, hugging him as tightly as I could. His laugh vibrated in his chest as he dropped his bags and hugged me just as tightly, crushing the breath from my lungs.

"Beautiful," he whispered in my ear. "You look so beautiful."

"No, you'd just forgotten what I look like," I corrected him, disengaging myself. Taking his hand, I dragged him over to my friends.

"Liam, this is Marlene McKinnon, Lily Evans, Hestia Jones, Alice Prinkle, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter and Sirius Black. Guys, this is Liam. We've been friends since we were four years old."

"Nice to meet you," some of them said, smiling. But Sirius was… well, serious, and there was a distinctly unfriendly look in his eyes. I studied his face, trying to figure out what was bugging him.

"Sirius Black and James Potter," Liam said thoughtfully. "So you're the bastards who hurt my girl here."

_My girl_. He'd been calling me that since the beginning of time, and hearing his familiar voice saying the familiar words gave me a happy tingle. But then his words sunk in, and I realised that his face had lost all of its happy charm.

James looked guilty, but Sirius was still unapologetically hostile.

"Look, mate - " James began, but Sirius pushed past him and strode out the door. I chased after him without realising what I was doing.

"Sirius, what - "

"Leave it, Norah," he snapped, jerking his wrist out of my grip. "You're busy, being _Liam's girl_."

Hurt by the venom in his tone, I stepped back. For a moment, his face softened and he reached out, but I flinched away. His voice had reminded me of the old Sirius, the hurtful Sirius, and a spiteful voice in my head reminded me that the new Sirius was only a week old.

His face tightened again and he stepped away, heading out of the portrait hole without a backward glance.

I turned around just in time to see Liam's fist hit James' face.

* * *

><p>"I probably deserved it," James admitted, holding a packet of ice to his eye. I huffed and continued flicking through the library book for a bruise healing spell.<p>

"I wonder why Sirius left, though," he mused. "Almost like he was jealous or something."

I was so surprised that I ripped the page out of the book. Cursing, I muttered, '_Reparo_,' and fixed it.

_His warm breath on my face, his leather jacket around my shoulders. His muscles rippling under my palm. _

_'I loved you.'_

_'You're busy being Liam's girl.'_

Could Sirius Black – of all people – seriously be _jealous?_


End file.
